Swinging continuation.

So since my last post about starting swinging again, or starting it properly this time, we started talking to 2 couples. The first couple had real conversations, long messages flying both ways, we’ve talked to both the man and woman, they had recently started going to a swingers club, The Infusion, in Blackpool, and told us a lot about it. They were introduced to it by some friends. Checking it out online, it looks really good, a swimming pool, sauna, hot tub / jacuzzi, playrooms, an orgy room !!!!!! Mmmmm may watch what happens in there but I will not be taking part in it, there’s a dungeon, which is good as some swingers clubs don’t have one.

The first couple, J, are soft swing, they enjoy mild spanking, she doesn’t take pain well so he only hand spanks but when I asked if he would be happy to spank me hard, he jumped at the chance lol. On their first visit they were just going to watch, but that didn’t last long before they got to play, she was entranced by the orgy room, one girl with 8 men, I think they said they would do anything bar intercourse. But we seemed to have lots in common, like I say, the conversation has just gone smoothly. Then yesterday they invited us to join them when they next go to the club, Sat 30th, I checked with Master and he agreed, so I replied saying we would love to go.

What I like about this club is it’s open from 11am until 3am almost every day. And as you know, I am not a night owl as I’m usually getting up by the time the club closes. Master said I needed to ensure that I sleep in the day before we go.

But J went during the day on Sunday to see what it was like and they enjoyed it too.  So I think the daytime would be best but one Saturday a month or fortnightly, I hope I can cope with that. I become such a bad tempered, knarky, brat when I’m tired, Master would have to be patient with me.

The second couple, M, started chatting a few days later, well Master found them. They are a D/s couple who go full swing but also happy with soft swing. They seem very nice, I think I’ve talked only to him, but I need to read their profile because maybe she’s not allowed to chat, The profile doesn’t say she’s not allowed so I will ask if she can come on to chat too. She has a cracking bum, curviliscious. Though they are a D/s couple they are happy to play vanilla, kinky or D/s fun. They play at home or at the other couples house, haven’t been to any clubs. So for me, this is like part of my fantasy come true, being with another D/s couple, maybe seeing if it grew into more in the future, but one step at a time. So far we are still chatting, but no date has been made yet.

So this led Master and I to the conversations on what our limits are.

And the biggest shock I had…………..Master wants to go full swing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was new, last time he was adamant that we were just going soft swing.

But he said only if I was happy with it, and he was not pushing me to go full swing. He told me this the other day so I’ve had a few days to process it, I wasn’t sure at first. My trouble is I associate sex with love, if your in love with someone you will happily have sex. I struggle with the idea that sex is just fun. Master thinks it’s because men see sex differently, they or he doesn’t have the emotional aspect to it. It’s just sex.

He wanted me to feel 100% happy with this. It’s taken a lot to process, understanding his opinion. When I’ve read blogs about couples who swing, I’ve always been turned on by it, but reading it is different to seeing it.

How will I feel to see him fucking another girl ?

I don’t know, is my only answer, until I’m in that moment, I just don’t know.

Master said okay, well if after the first visit, you decide you don’t like it, you must tell me and I won’t do it.

I have a big problem being verbal during sex, you know like asking Master to go harder, faster, slow down etc. So I worried that if I was in that moment and it was becoming too much, if I said stop would they stop. Like if we went to the dungeon, what our version of a hard spanking might be soft to them. If I’m strapped to the bench or Andrews Cross, and it was becoming too much and I said stop, Would they ?

Master said it was like we would be having a scene, so tell him that you want to be spanked with finger fun, you want to squirt, so he now knows what you want.

You tell him what toys you want used, where you want to be hit, how hard, tell him your safe words, orange to pause, red to stop.
I asked if Master would be with me all the time, as we had first agreed that we would only do same room swap. He said Yes if I wanted him to be there he would. But I said Does that mean you are happy to just wander alone, he said Yes but only if I was happy with it.

I think until our first visit, I will want to stay with him. But as we are going with this couple, and their friends, maybe it will be better, if I’m chatting with them, and he asks if I minded if he had a wander, then I’d probably say go.

He said he would tell me all he had seen or done. Do I want to know ? Again I’m not sure.

There’s a lot of question marks in this aren’t there !

Then he said I needed to think what I would or wouldn’t do. So I said straight away I don’t want to go down on a woman, I know he really wants me to, but I need to do what I want, so I said this, then said well maybe not never, maybe I will but not yet. I don’t know if I could ever go down on a girl, I will play, fingers, kissing, touching, but I can’t see I will ever feel I can do that.

I  don’t know.

Okay, Master said so what else ?

I said, I’m not sure I could have sex. You know penetrative sex.

He said, Okay so you look across the room and see a guy that is tall, got a six pack, really fit, you like the look of him, would you go over and ask if he wants to have some fun ?

No, I said, I can’t see myself ever doing that.

If he came to you, sat next to you, asked if he could touch you, kiss you, then asked if he could take you to a playroom, would you then ? Master asked.

Would you come ? I asked

If you wanted me to yes, but I think you would have more fun if I wasn’t around. He told me.

I’ve just thought about something….if I was alone in a playroom with a guy, then Master could watch through the peep holes.

Would that make me feel more comfortable ? I don’t know.

So what am I happy doing, I need to make a list.


Touching,  Stroking. Finger fun.  Kissing. Squirting. Guy going down on me. Blowjobs.  Dildo fun. Spanking.

Anal sex ?   Vaginal sex ?


Touching.  Stroking. Finger fun.  Kissing. Squirting. Girl going down on me as long as they didn’t mind if I didn’t return the favour.  Dildo fun. Spanking.

What am I not happy with.


Fisting.  Use of whips.  No hard-core spanking.  No needle or knife play. Swallowing cum. Piss play.

Going down on a girl. Fisting.  Use of whips. No hard-core spanking.  No needle or knife play. Piss play.

One thing couple J has said, is there is the most utmost respect for each other. No one would touch you without your permission, there is a definite respect for what each other wants, if they want to go past that barrier, they will ask first.

Master asked if I wanted him to order me to do things, again I said I don’t know.

D/s is the main part of our life, so should it mean that if he wants me to do…Whatever…..he will just order me to do it. I’m not sure I’d feel happy being pushed into doing something I really don’t want to do. Master said, How about you are free to do what you want, I’m not sure I’m happy with you having sex but that’s hypocritical, if I’m doing it, you should be able to do it. What if, if you want to have sex with someone, you ask me first. If I say yes, fine, if I say no, you don’t.

Okay, I think that could work, I think. I said.

Now the other thing I’m not sure on is condoms. Now do you have to use them ? How do you know if someone is clean or not ? I’ve never done a blowjob with a condom on, my imagination tells me it can’t be much fun on my behalf, you can’t nibble the head or shaft, suck the foreskin can you ? I don’t know. And taste, you can’t really taste them. I know I don’t want to swallow someone else’s cum, but I’m still happy to get to pre-cum stage, then they can fire their load over me. But I’ve no experience with a condom, so I don’t know what to expect.

J just told us to bring condoms with us as they charge £1 each in the club.

Oh lordy so many things going around in my head and I think I’m thinking the worst of everything now. I’m excited but terribly nervous. I think I want Master to stay with me for the first time, I just hope we get on with the couple and their friends to help us enjoy the night.

Oh yes, what do we wear, start of in lingerie, then when you go in the pool you take it off[, lock it up in the locker and wear a towel. But you’re wet then, so you’re not gonna want to put your lingerie back on. I think we are just better off going naked with the towel, we are both comfortable being naked. Then footwear, J said the floor can be slippy especially by the pool, certainly one thing I don’t want to happen is I slip and fall, so I’m going to get us both a pair of sliders ( flip flops ) ready to take, they will also do for the holiday.


Think I’ve got down all my feelings over this, even with a lot of don’t knows.

Possibly trying swinging again.

About a month ago, Master and I had a chat about rekindling our D/s dynamics, it had slowly disappeared when ‘vanilla’ life got in the way.

In this conversation we discussed once more about going to any kinky clubs. By kinky clubs we really wanted a BDSM club, but most events were in the nighttime. And we are not night owls at all. If we went to a swingers club, some of these held events during the afternoon and night, which would suit us better. Some swinger clubs had dungeons, but mostly they don’t.

I contacted The Townhouse in Birkenhead, and my reply made me feel like maybe this club was a bit too much for us right now. Master then found an event in a club we hadn’t heard of before, The No3 Club in Chorley. They were holding a tattoo and piercing event. Basically anyone with tattoo’s and/or piercings can attend. I emailed them, asking if this was a good event to go to for newbies. I got a nice reply back that made me feel maybe we should go.

Two things were a problem, 1, this event was on that Friday, it was Monday when we found it. 2, it said you had to be a member of 1 of the 4 main swingers sites in the UK.

Master hadn’t noticed that so he said we will leave it then.


We ended up having a familiar conversation, how do we find another sub to join us, should we try swinging again. Master said again, “I don’t want you agreeing to it, if you don’t want to do it. You said after last time that you didn’t want to do it again.” I said, “I know but I guess we can only try again. Sign up on one of the sites or join FabSwingers again and see if we get any ‘real’ people willing to actually set a date and meet up for some drinks then go from there.”

I left Master to spend the time choosing a site, joining and chatting. If he finds any ‘real’ people wanting to take the next step, he would then tell me to have a look at their photos, read their profile and join them chatting. And what I mean by chatting is having a proper conversation, not us writing a long paragraph to get a very short sentence back or just one word. That is not chatting. That is not getting to know someone.


Now before I get bombarded with bloggers saying there are real people on these sites, I apologise now and I certainly don’t want to insult these people who are real swingers. I am only going by our first experience where there was lots of talk, showing interest, yes let’s set a date, then they vanish. Or the ones who are just not real at all. Master googles their photos to see if they just picked a picture from there, and there were many who did just that.


Master looked at the other 3 sites, 1 that was very good by ensuring the people who joined them, were real. But all 3 were very expensive, pay to join, pay to read each individual message, pay to read each individual message. So Master rejoined Fab again.


But now we are talking about swinging again, all my old fears erupted again. Yet I read blogs about couples who just do it for fun, I read them, and it does turn me on. But I worry about if I could do it.

I’m a girl who yes, I enjoy sex, any kinky fuckery that’s me. But with Master.

We’ve even discussed that maybe we will have to go full swing, not soft, to get interest.

But can I have any sex with another guy ? I’d have to really like them.

But can I have sex with a girl ? Hmmmm I’m still not sure, maybe play with fingers but can I go down on another girl ?

This is something I know Master wants me to do, though I’ve said I won’t, if he orders me to, then I would have to. On many discussions with Master, I’ve said he would have to push me to do it, and if he feels I’m not trying then he should punish me. I know I take forever to figure out I do enjoy each thing, so this maybe the same. Well not maybe, it would be, unless I absolutely detest going down on a girl, I have to try BUT I have to be allowed to go slow’ish.

I wish I could be one of those girls who can say I just love sex, and having sex with as many people as possible in one night.

But I just can’t. Sex is connected with love, when you love someone you want to have sex with that person.

So the only way this could work is by getting to know a couple, I don’t want to hear about their accomplishments with every other couple they’ve had, I want to know if they are interested in us as a couple first, then bring in play slowly.

Our first experience was awful, felt very clinical, staged, like this is what they did with each couple. Watching porn which I presume is a turn on for them, but for us was a huge turn off. She couldn’t orgasm without using her clit vibrator at the same time, but never told Master, whilst he’s trying to get her to cum, her hubby took over, she only then got and used her vibrator then had an orgasm. Like she would / could only orgasm with her hubby. This I found insulting for Master because he must have felt similar feelings like I had about why he couldn’t get this woman to cum. The guy had a circumcised cock, which I then realised I’m not keen on a cock without the foreskin, it’s something else to play with, he also had a very sensitive cock, so I couldn’t nibble or chew on it. I felt like I was inadequate, inexperienced in sucking cock. When I watched his wife suck him, she had her lips over her teeth and basically just sucked him. I just thought, God this is so boring. I don’t know what else to do. They had games they obviously played a lot, none I wanted to join in with. The guys stood up in front of each other, us girls were on our knees between them, she’s sucking my Master’s cock, I’m sucking the hubby’s, then we swapped over, and back again.

Again just boring.

When it came to getting the guys to cum, I turned down the offer to do her hubby, she asked if she could make Master cum, he asked me to, so I agreed, sitting back to watch them. I didn’t turn me on.

Then she asked if I wanted to do a snowball, ( I think that’s what she called it ). Where she would pass the cum from her mouth to mine then back again. YUCK.

No thank you.

Her hubby said she loves cum, can’t get enough. So it made me giggle inside when I watched her struggle to swallow Master’s big load.


So that just felt horrible and Master agreed. I don’t know, I just want that bit of a connection with the couple for me to feel comfortable having any form of sex with them. I don’t think I’m alone feeling this way.


Master got chatting with 2 couples who winked us as soon as Master signed up with Fab, both sounded ok, but one could only play during the day when their kids were at school, which meant Master having to take the day off. One couple who said they come to our town quite often but when Master said well let’s make a date for a social, the reply he got back was “not sure what we are doing, keep in touch.”

Many couples had photos of only the girl, saying a cock is just a cock, Well so are tits, ass and pussy. Yet if you want me to think about playing with you, I’d like to see what you’ve got too.

Then yesterday he got chatting with another couple and this time, wow, it was a real conversation. They looked like a nice couple, I read the chat this morning and liked what I read. They were also fed up with time wasters. She’s only bi-curious so it could be a good way to play together and learn. He is straight which suits us too, though Master isn’t appalled at the idea of being bi-curious himself. I found it a bit odd when I watched him suck the cock of our second experience with a transgender, male to female. This coupley have just started going to clubs and have said they would be happy to take us with them, and the know The Club3. We have similar interests too. Master ended the conversation saying he would get me to read their chat and join them chatting today, so I think I will.

Oh and more importantly they like spanking. But I need to find out whether their version of spanking is a few little swats on the ass, or a full on paddling, caning, flogging etc. Because that’s the other thing that got me fed up, profiles read they enjoy spanking, but then when you send a photo of my ass nice and crimson they say ‘oh I don’t like that, I only fun spank’. There’s a big difference to what ‘vanilla’ people class as a fun spanking to what BDSM people class as a fun spanking. For me a fun spanking leaves my ass bruised crimson / purple, welts and markings, also a bit of blood but that’s not everyones cup of tea so I can pass that one on to what Master and I do. I like to feel my ass sore for days after a fun spanking. Obviously a punishment would be a lot worse, but I still love the feel of my sore body afterwards.

Anyway, I will keep you updated, hopefully this couple will want to meet for a social first. We will see………..