My stubborn behaviour left me feeling so guilty, I had to own up about my indescretion.

Miss Adira set a new rule about July time, that I could not dye my hair my usual plum colour, not dye it at all. She wanted to see my natural hair color and I hate my natural colour, strawberry blond, it’s a bit dull, boring. Much preferring the bold, bright purple or bright chilli red. It kinda makes a statement, shows my real personality. I was not happy at all, every week or so, I asked and the answer was always no. After a month or so, I heard her tell Master that she was only doing it to wind me up, it was funny. Well I was fuming when I heard that, I said, “Well if that’s the case then, I will dye my hair this week.” “No you will not.” She stated, I could tell she meant every word. 

There was no changing her mind, and I was getting more and more peeved about it. By late October my stubborn, pigheaded head was working overtime, my bratty head began working too much. One night I was sat in bed, it was time for me to turn the TV off and do some colouring for 20 minutes, Miss Adira’s rule.

I began thinking, Well if Miss Adira won’t let me dye my hair, then I’m not gonna do my colouring and I’m gonna watch TV until 10pm, so there. IMaging me pulling my tongue out as well, being a real brat.

So it began, I had this thought every night, but because I’m so stubborn, I continued my deception. Thinking I had one over Miss Adira. 

As time went on, I began to feel terribly guilty. But the more she repeatedly said No to me, the more I continued. I often worried if Master had got the camera in our room working so Miss Adira or Daddy could connect to it and see what I was up to. 

I also wondered why Miss Adira hadn’t asked where was my daily photograph to show the colouring I did the night before. She never asked once. Naturally I never mentioned it, but I was very surprised about her non-reaction.

This was very unlike Miss Adira, She is always on the ball with my tasks,  knowing immediately if I’ve missed one, yet she still said nothing.

I think this made my guilty feeling become stronger, By the end of November every night I felt immense guilt turning the lights and TV off at 10pm, but I continued. The same thoughts going in my head, Well if DiDi won’t let me dye my hair, then I’m still not doing my colouring. I know it’s pathetic, ridiculous and most of all very childish.

After our lovely weekend celebrating Miss Adira’s birthday, I thought I had to own up. It was getting closer to Christmas, my guilt was building inside, so just before Christmas I told her, well I thought I messaged her on Whatsapp, but I couldn’t find it so I asked DiDi to look. Apparently I wrote it in my daily diary and on Whatsapp, I got this message, “Just dye your hair.” I replied “No, I’m not doing it.”

By now, I’d kinda accepted that I was never gonna be able to dye me hair again, I’d just have to deal with the colour, it didn’t help when Daddy kept telling me to just dye my hair. I repeatedly told him, “It is more than my life is worth.” So I was starting to accept my natural hair colour.

Then on Boxing Day when we were exchanging gifts, Miss Adira handed me a basket filled with little gifts, the first thing I saw was a box of hair dye, exactly the one I use. Apparently Master had the job of trying to find a box of my hair colour in my bedroom cupboards, take a picture of it and send it to DiDi, so she could buy the right one. It was quite a task for him to do it without me seeing or finding it out.

So you can imagine the guilt I felt then. It was the worst feeling ever. And as the days went on, Miss Adira still said nothing about my indiscretion. On the 2nd January the boys were back at work, the rules were starting again, after being allowed a Christmas break. I asked Miss Adira if the bedtime rules restart, she replied. “You would presume correct.” 

Again there was no other comment from her, I swear this is like the worst punishment I could have about this. My guilt was just bursting out, it was killing me just waiting for her to say something about it.

On the 8th January I asked again, “Are you ever going to bring up the bedtime crime ?” I asked her, I was feeling really guilty about it. She sent me a very happy, smiley emoji as her reply. “That’s why you’re not saying anything isn’t it, coz you know this was as bad as receiving a punishment.” I stated. “Yup,” she said. “Oh that’s cruel, so so cruel,” I replied. “Yes I am,” DiDi answered. “But still loves ya,” I told her. “Love you more,” she answered.

From then on, my guilt started to lift, it was very slow, and at bedtime I still thought about it. So my rule is bedtime at 9pm, watch TV until 9.40pm, turn the TV off and do some colouring until 10pm. If I’m tired before then, I am to go to sleep.

So as it’s a new year, Miss Adira wanted to take our dynamic further, we both wanted her to go stricter, she wanted to add more restrictive rules, like Daddy choosing my clothes for the day, choosing my meals, telling me if I’m allowed booze or treaties. I told her I was very happy to have more, so we spent the next few days discussing possible new rules. Set so many hours watching TV, Should I ask to watch TV, Should I ask to watch the particular programme.

In the end we finally got some new rules set.

  1. Ask to sit on the furniture when we are together as a group or just us.
  2. Ask permission to use the toilet. (If no response in time to be determined) then consider permission is granted.
  3. 6 hours of TV per day – time can be earned or deducted, if deducted then Miss Adira will notify ma about what can be done instead in the time deducted. This goes from 8am to 5pm. From 5pm – 8.45pm it’s Master’s choice of TV. If I’m up in the night, I may watch unlimited TV of recorded programmes only, until 8am.
  4. Permission to speak to be asked for. When in the group, ask to speak once for the time together. When it’s just the 2 of us, ask every time.
  5. Permission to be asked for what colour I will dye my hair.
  6. To play with oneself to learn how to make myself squirt, twice a week, videoed.
  7. I am to keep a butt plug and jingle balls in my handbag all the time so at anytime Miss Adira can tell me to go and put either in and video doing it.
  8. Improve on etiquette, good manners, behaving ladylike and courteous to others. Addressing people correctly, waiting for everyone to get their food before eating, not talking over people, opening the door for someone, when passing a drink in a cup ensure the handle is facing them.
  9. Months when chapters of MissAdita’s book is to be written are – February, April. June, August, October and December.

 

My first experience with the jiggle balls was on Monday. I was going to a ballet at the theatre, Miss Adira had told me to go to the toilets in the interval and put the jingles in, videoing it as well. I asked if she would mind if I did it when we first get to the theatre as I don’t go to the toilets in the interval, the queue is always far too long. She said that was fine.

We arrived with plenty of time, so I headed to the disabled toilet, got me phone out and put it in a place where he would be able to see a bit. I had no lube so I put a little bit of soap on it. Well could I put the darnn thing in……no I could not. Huffing and puffing it was not easy, my right foot up on the toilet. I could not shove the thing in. I could hear people outside, there was a queue now. So I tried my left leg up on the toilet, see if that works. No, this way was even worse. All the while I talked to Miss Adira quietly so no one else could hear me. After 3 minutes, I thought I can’t be in here any longer, I had to give up. So I told Miss Adira that this was a complete fail for my first go, maybe I was rushing in the public toilets. I didn’t understand it, I’ve put them in many, many times, I was going to have to figure it out over the next few days at home. Miss Adira said the video was the funniest thing she has watched in a long time, listening to you huff and puff, talking quietly, struggling coz you had all your clothes bunched up, it was hilarious. I’m surprised my mother-in-law didn’t ask why I was all flushed, because I must’ve been.

Two days later I felt like I’d been fisted for hours, I felt bruised and battered around my happy spot, I presume from trying to put the jiggle in. After I’d done my homework, I had time to video part 2 of the jiggles as I am now calling it. Finding somewhere to put my phone, I sat down this time, one leg up on the stool, then just as I pressed record and began, the phone fell down, this repeated about 3 more times. Before I stopped the video, thinking about where I can go and put the camera before I call time again. Surely that wasn’t going to happen again. I sorted myself out, changed position, sorted my phone out, ready for the restart of part 2. I began again. Lubed up, I pushed the first ball in but it popped out, I pushed it back, trying to push the second ball in but as soon as I took my finger away, the darnn thing popped out again. I was beside myself now, why wouldn’t the flamin thing go in. I felt relaxed but by the God, I seemed closed up tight. Trying over and over I was losing patience. That’s it, I’m done today. Epic fail, part 2.

The next day after I had a shower, I spent some time having a little play, following the rules Miss Adira had set, trying to make myself squirt, I had to video it so Miss Adira could see if I squirted or not. Anyway that didn’t happen, but I did enjoy the play. So I decided to try Part 3 of the jingles again now I was lubed up and spread open a bit from using my fav rabbit. Still lying on the bed, I pushed the first ball in easily, (why was it so difficult before) the second ball went in with a bit of a shove. Pushing them right up there though, was a bit difficult. My fingers aren’t long enough to reach, I did think about using my rabbit to push it further up lol, but then after another thrust up, it stayed in place. Finally I had done it, I can’t believe it took 3 goes to do it. We have little sachets of lube we bought if we went to the swingers club, so I have now put some in the bag with my jingle, so at anytime Miss Adira tells me to put it in, I’m prepared. I just hope I don’t have to lie on the public toilets floor to put it in all the time though.

Anyway I finally did it for Miss Adira and kept it in until my afternoon nap, she was very pleased and amused by the latest video, so I was pleased I had made her proud of me and for me myself, well I was proud of myself because I really couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t do it, I was determined to do it and I did. Plus they felt darnn good too. I put a little bounce in my step to feel the balls jingle inside me……..mmmmm I like them.

New rules and tasks.

New rules and tasks.

 

Firstly I have to apologise for my absence, as you know it’s a busy time of year, plus I’m doing a picture for someones Christmas present, not sure if you’ve ever seen these pictures advertised on Instagram or Facebook. They are called Painting With Diamonds. It’s similar to Paint By Numbers. Basically you’ve a picture printed on an adhesive canvas, it has many many squares with different colour codes. Your job is to stick “diamonds” onto each square to create a vibrant mosaic painting.

It’s very relaxing and I’m actually able to do it without causing myself more pain. 

It was funny a few months ago, I bought 2 online and was just waiting for them to arrive, takes about 6 weeks as they are from China. Miss Adira said I’ve bought you a present and I’ve got one for myself. It was a diamond painting from a craft shop. I started laughing and said “I’ve just bought 2 of these, I’m waiting for them to arrive.” We hadn’t talked about them, ever, yet we always know what we would like. It’s nice that we now can chat about each others picture. I’ve asked for a custom one made of our dogs and a lovely picture of a sunset through a wine glass for Christmas but they are very big, so may take some time to do. But I don’t mind. Miss Adira is doing a big one at the moment and said it will take months to finish, but they’re almost addictive once you start, you just can’t stop doing more and more.

I’m doing this picture for somebody’s Christmas present, so my focus has been that rather than writing blogs.

 

Let me tell you about the new rules Daddy has set.

Ask permission to go out, this does not apply to going shopping, doing tasks or walking the dogs.

Ask permission to drink alcohol, at anytime.

I’d noticed that every time I went out or had a drink, Daddy would say, “You’ve not asked to go out or to drink alcohol.” So I asked him if this was something he wanted to add into his rules, he said “Yes.” This was 2 weeks ago, so far I’ve not remembered to ask, but Daddy had given me a pass but from now on, he will not let me off. I’ve got to try really hard to remember this now.

But I do like these rules, it makes me feel even more ‘little’ having to ask to go out or drink, Daddy will also know what I’m doing and when. I can almost feel him with me, watching me, listening to what I’m saying, it feels like a reminder not to swear too. 

The new task came from Daddy and Miss Adira.

They both want me to start baking, my first attempt were cupcakes, not very successful. The cakes were baked a bit too long and the icing was runny. The second attempt was slightly better, the cakes were ok but the icing was still runny. But everyone enjoyed them. The next baking session was chocolate crispy cakes. Sounds simple, something you make with your kids when they are very young.

But this was not simple for me though, I remembered Mum had a great recipe for crispy cakes, and over the years we converted it into a hot chocolate sauce to go with ice cream. Unfortunately with Mum’s dementia and Dad’s general old age memory they did not remember us using it to make chocolate crispy cakes. So I had to just budge it and hope. So I made it but I suspected it hadn’t worked. And I was right. The next day I looked at them in the fridge and it had gone soggy. I had to throw the lot out. Drove quickly to Tesco to buy Mars bars and tried to make Mars Bar Crispy Cakes. Now stupidly I never looked at the recipe Master found, I just melted the Mars bars in the microwave, which went gloopy, mixed the rice crispies as best I could, put it in the tray then put it in the fridge. 

A couple of hours later, we had to go to Daddy’s, so I somehow, broke the crispy cakes into some sort of slices, put them in the box and took them round. Now I have to be honest, they were really nice, chewy, crunchy but not tons of flavour. But the good thing was, Daddy, Miss Adira and their son C, loved them. 

Then they decided I was to make a Victoria sponge cake for the next visit, which is today. It’s been a v long time since I made this, so hunted for a recipe, found one, bought all the ingredients then began. And I must admit, so far so good. I weighed the mixture into 2 cake tins, and put them in the oven.

After tidying the kitchen, leaving the ingredients out for the frosting, I did the best thing about making a cake. I licked the bowl clean, the spoons and spatulas. Yummie.

Getting the cakes out was a bit of a task, the first one stuck so it broke a bit but I got the second one out easier. Then left them to cool.

Time for the frosting, now I did ask Miss Adira if I could just buy ready made frosting, but no surprise she said no. So I read up the recipe, when the cake was cold I plopped the broken one on the base of the cake box I bought, melted some raspberry jam so it spread easily over the cake,  then made the frosting. And this worked well too. I mixed it by hand, this will give me some muscles in my arms, then gave it a blast with the hand mixer. There seemed to be a lot of frosting, but I followed the recipe, filled the middle and there was half left still. I put the other cake on top and decided to cover the entire thing, just to use the frosting up.

When I’d finished I noticed it was melting a bit so I got it in the fridge  and left it to set. Looking at it today, it looks okay, yes its wonky, bit like the Leaning Tower Of Pisa, yes there’s loads of frosting but it looked alright. I took some photos and sent them to the group chat, Muss Adira’s first comment was, “It’s not straight……..”, Daddy’s comment, “What is that?”. To which I said, “Right you’re not getting this cake now.” Obviously they will, I hope everyone likes it.

Miss Adira has already decided on the next cake as it’s her birthday soon, so she wants a chocolate fudge cake. Omg, that’s making the cake, frosting and ganache. I’ve found a fairly simple recipe, so I’m to make it for 2 weeks today. Wish me luck guys.