Why Do I Keep Going wrong ?

Why do I keep going wrong ?

After disappointing Daddy for missed tasks I’ve been trying really hard to get them done at the right time. I’ve added an alarm to my phone at 9am and 4pm, This is to check I’ve done everything, then sign it off on my tasks sheet. And I thought I was really getting into this routine.

So when Daddy phoned yesterday and said the first part of this conversation is not going to be pleasant. I thought, Oh God what’s happened, what have I done. Where is my morning selfie ? He asked.

This left me a bit dumbstruck. I was sure I sent it, I felt certain I had taken them.

The only difference yesterday was I had an idea for my erotic photos for Miss Adira, and my head was thinking only about this.

I took photos of my homework, then waited until my son had left for work, then I took myself upstairs. I had a shower, did my hair, put makeup on so I looked nice for the pictures. I’d bought new bras which I wanted to try on, 2 for everyday wear, 2 sexy ones for going out, meeting Daddy and Miss Adira. This was all I was focusing on.

Now for my 50th birthday present from Miss Adira, she is taking me away for the night, we are going out for afternoon tea then going to watch The LadyBoys of Bangkok.

I really wanted a sexy outfit, which is hard for me when I don’t feel a sexy woman. I bought a black tight skirt, had it shortened to over my knee, I found 2 pairs of over the knee boots in the sale, black and blue suede, and bought a black sheer top. Originally I wanted to wear a basque underneath, bought 2, I felt were too small, so bought the next size which was far too big. So, with Master;s help, I got the smaller basque on, but OMG I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t sit down, never mind going for a meal and sitting in a show for 2 hours. Master said I was just not the right shape for a basque. Be okay for a quick photo shoot, but after that, no.

Master suggested wearing just a bra underneath, it would look sexy plus you would see your tattoos. So I had to buy some sexy bras. The 2 I own are decidedly ugh, I hate underwired bras, the wire always digs into my sides, but the non-wired bras are pretty dull and boring. So I decided I had to suffer the wires, and purchase some pretty, sexy bras. I found 2 I liked so purchased them.

Then I tried the outfit on, taking photos of the new bras first, I put the outfit on and wow I actually felt good in it, I felt sexy. I think mainly because it didn;t show my figure, my big tummy mainly.

So I got carried away with my outfits and taking photos, once I had sorted them out and edited them I sent them to Master, Daddy and Miss Adira.

The response I got was amazing, they all said I looked real sexy, now I wouldn’t go that far, but I did feel a bit more confident in myself. I think Miss Adira will be proud to take me out looking like this. 

Next year we are also going to see a burlesque show with Miss Dita Von Teese Glamonareix

So I think I will be wearing this outfit then, if I really do feel sexy in it when we go to see The Ladyboys.

Miss Adira asked me why I liked 2 particular photos, it was a hard question to answer, so I just explained that just putting the boots on made me feel good, and I could honestly say I felt comfortable in it, Showing off my tattoos makes me feel confident for some reason. I just felt a self confidence I never really feel, the only time I feel like this is at the naturists park we go to. Then I’m not bothered, I think to myself this is the body I’ve got, so embrace it. And I do. When I’m home I do anything to hide my body, well the middle section mostly. Tummy and scar.

But all this is no excuse for missing my selfie. No matter that Daddy loved the photos, they weren’t the photos he was wanting. Or expecting. Or at the correct time.

The last thing he said to me last Saturday after my punishment spanking, was,  if you miss just one more, then you will get a no-nonsense, long punishment. He said things like having no TV at bedtime until he decides I’m allowed it, No Ipad, chromebook for a month unless I’m writing a blog then I have to give it back to Master, given daily tasks on top of my normal stuff for a month. He even mentioned me not being allowed to watch grown-up programmes, and just watching the kids channels, I hope to God this one doesn’t happen. But I’ve disappointed him again, and he said once more that he thinks I’m doing it on purpose. But I’m not, I think the only way to make him believe me is by making sure I get it done. Stop getting side tracked on other things. I need to focus, once the homework is done, sent them there and then, even if its 4 am, like today when I’d done it all. Take the selfies then and send everything. Fill out my task sheet, making sure I’ve ticked off each task. Then I can think about the rest of the day.

Anyway at first Daddy set me an origami to make, I did not think this was a sufficient punishment to make me stop forgetting, so I reminded him about what he had said at the end of the last punishment. “Oh ok if you want to go down that route, you will get a more serious punishment. So to start with, I want 1000 lines, in your best writing, in nice rainbow colours, I will not forget my Daddy’s tasks ever again. I want you sat on nuts and bolts whilst you are writing them. This becomes very painful after a few minutes. Tomorrow (which is now today) I want a video at 6 minutes past the hour, from 8.06am – 8.06pm, saying I am sorry I missed my task again, I will try harder. I’ve been told there will be more punishments to come.

Master and Daddy have both mentioned that maybe I’ve too many things on,  and I’ve too many tasks but I’ve not many daily tasks, once the homework is done, poses for Miss Adira, it’s only selfies to do, unless I’m given extra tasks for punishment or for their amusement. So going forward, I intend to send homework, selfies and poses as soon as I’ve done them, then I know they are done. I don’t want to hear Daddy say he’s disappointed again, I want him to say well done or thank you for my tasks, daily like he usually does, not a conversation where I’ve missed one. Or worse, missed them all. 

But he did say the photos were really sexy and it was hard to concentrate on his job after seeing them. That the boots were a big turn on, so all he thought about was making me squirt, giving me multiple orgasms and spanking my butt, just with me wearing those boots. Now even though I missed a task, I’m gonna be honest now, just hearing Daddy say that, the passion, desire in his voice, had made this mistake worth it. Even if I’m not enjoying writing these 1000 lines, sat on nuts and bolts and probably won’t enjoy anything else he sets to add to the punishment. Hopefully this will be the last time.

Day 2 of building the matchstick house.

Day 2 of building the matchstick house.

So here goes, day 2 begins on the hottest day in the UK for a loooonnnng time, reaching 30°c +. Far too hot to sit out, not that I can coz I’ve no chairs I can sit comfortably in.

Anyway, yesterday I thought maybe it would be better if I put the first layer of sticks on bluetac, well pinktac, thinking this will keep the bottom row still. Hmmmmm I could almost hear Miss Adira doing her evil chuckle as she imagined me doing it, cursing me head off even though I shouldn’t. Though today, I didn’t say 1 curse word until the last minute. I decided I was going to talk nicely to the house then maybe it will work for me.

So I took my time getting started, trying to ensure the gaps were the same. The pinktac was working, bottom row done. Second row completed without issue.

The next stage is 6 rows of just 2 sticks on opposite sides per row. This went without a hitch. You had to ensure the match end was facing the correct way as they did, this looks better and looks better when on fire. I noticed the second to last row was wrong so took them off and re-did them.

So now I’m at the stage where it collapsed on me yesterday. I painfully and gently poked my tweezers inside the first hole, and the first match dropped down. I’m going on me hands an knees to to watch the match, see where it goes, move the bottom stick to try to drop it down further. I’m standing above it so I can look right down and see if the passage is clear.

Here things began to go wrong, coz sometimes I had to move the sticks back, as they were falling from the sides, then the bottom was going hey wire, I tried everything to gently prod the sticks in place but had no luck. After I had succeeded in getting 6 sticks down the cube, one side toppled.

OMG, did I wanna scream, curse, throw them away, throw them at Miss Adira, well obviously I’m not that stupid to actually do that, I calmly sat down, watched the brand new series of Dance Moms, you all know how much I love that show, and didn’t think if that stupid house until it finished.


Ready for the sticks to go down.
Losing it now.

Round 3 after Dance Moms. I started again. Building the first 4 or 5 rows before the darn thing fell. The annoying factor is I took all the time to get it even, then I think I knocked it with my tweezers. But my back was pooped from crouching down, from bending over it. Oh FFS I said to the matches, you can shut up too, I told the man on the YouTube video I was following. Hearing my Miss Adira in my head, giggling, sensing my frustration, knowing how peeved I was, made me more peeved.

Toppled down already.

So Day 2 is over and I’m no better than I was yesterday.

SCRREEEAAAAMMMMIINNGGGG.

Someone asked yesterday why don’t I use glue, well the simple answer is you can’t, unless you cheat. It’s all about precision of where you put the matches. And I wouldn’t cheat,  I’d rather admit defeat than cheat. Anyway, imagine the punishment if I did, doesn’t bare thinking about.

There was also a question of what was the orange thing in the photos, it is a rotary craft knife. I can’t hold the small craft knives, my fingers don’t work like they used to. I had to buy precision tweezers which are more chunky to hold onto, which is better for me and if I get to the next stage of making it look like a house, I need to cut the matches down to make the doors and window, sounds simple, but bet it’s not. 

I went to bed frustrated and annoyed that I couldn’t do it again. I can honestly tell you this is far worse than the worst spankings I’ve ever had and that’s exactly why Miss Adira and Daddy set these things as punishments and I’m not liking this one, one tiny bit.