Piggy/Miss Adora’s blog for November.

So another lockdown, another covid test and another positive result…

Pretty much getting fed up with it all now. So it was my hubbies and my turn to test positive this time. Only this time I had an appointment I couldn’t miss, I’d had to cancel it once already and really didn’t want to again. 

I’d been waiting for a an appointment to get my lady bits checked out. See, I’d had an abnormal smear and needed further investigation,  now I’d already cancelled it once before and really didn’t want to again. Well working out from my positive result date and my appointment, I was good but only by a few days. 

So, to cut a long story short, I’ve been to the appointment, the team I saw were fantastic and really did put me at ease. I’m due my results any day soon from the biopsy they took, so hopefully it’s good news.

Serf/Little Minxs/Aurora’s blog for October.

So nothing much happened in October, nothing really thrilling.

I’ve accomplished another walking challenge, 20 km in two weeks. I have tried to push myself a little bit for each walk, even though it takes me a long time to do my walk, as I go at a snail’s pace, but just the fact I am walking as often as I can is a big deal for me. Though I went on Friday and thought I’d go a different route. A route Master and I had done a few years ago when he was on a walking challenge for work. But as I went along. I realized it was really too far, I was getting sore, so stopping, I logged in on Google maps to see where I was, and what direction I needed to take. Even though this road was only about five minutes away from our house in the car, it’s a road I never go down, so had only a vague idea where it went. 

This route went on and on, and at one point I thought I was going to have to phone Master, (who is still working from home coz of Covid,) and see if he could come and pick me up.

But I was determined I would continue. Anyway, I finally found roads I knew and got home. I was exhausted, walked for nearly an hour. Far too long. 

So I will do only the routes I know, and the way I normally walk, there are beautiful, huge houses to admire.

I’ve also surprised myself, as I walk past many gardens, I’ve seen various plants in flower now and looked beautiful. Now I’m no gardener, I do what I do, plant stuff I like the look of, not really reading where they should go. And usually, my way works. I’ve not got my parent’s green fingers.

So I’ve started to take photo’s of the flowers in bloom or the leaf, and once home, I searched on the app I use, Leaf Finder, this is a great app. Either go on the app and take a photo, or put a photo in you’ve already taken, and they will find the plant. So having found some plants I liked, I then bought some. If they can grow in these gardens, they can grow in mine.

I never thought I would ever do this, in my life. But I am enjoying our little garden and slowly making it disabled friendly, raised borders, safer areas for me to walk on. I’m proud of what we’ve done so far.

Miss Adira and I pass on plant ideas we both may like as she is beginning to enjoy her garden too. And we’ve even swapped cuttings.

So what else, well, we have been very busy doing our van conversion, turning it into our little camper, and we’ve done bloody great if I can say so myself. For our first attempt, I‘d say it’s 90% perfect. Far better than we thought we would do. Hopefully, soon we can actually try it out.

But let’s get to the real elephant in my blog. The flamin Covid. As the norm for my life now, I go to Tesco, drop shopping at my folks and my in-laws then come home. That’s it. Exciting, NOT. Still cannot meet with Daddy, DiDi and the gang. And missing them all so much. But I’m also on alert constantly, checking if anyone is showing signs of the dreaded lurgy. Their son had managed the whole of four days in school before a kid in his bubble had it. So it was almost inevitable to get a message to say his school says he needs a test as he woke with a headache and felt a bit ugh.

But getting the message to say it’s positive, this was getting serious now, this flamin lurgy was getting into my family. I quickly called DiDi, mainly to check she was okay, then eventually spoke with Daddy as I knew they would be concerned. But the fact that C was showing no symptoms, or really feeling poorly, he enjoyed another two weeks off school. Daddy and DiDi were a different matter. OMG, they were sooooooo bored. DiDi did some gardening, but of course, had wanted to buy stuff for the garden, but they couldn’t go out. So they did what they could. 

Then as we knew C had got the lurgy,  I was, I admit, rather panicky if Daddy or DiDi then caught it. Three weeks later, Daddy woke up feeling rough, he had coughed a few times when I chatted with him, DiDi said he had coughed in the night. He’d had night sweats, so I get really panicked. And yes, I got extremely mad when Daddy told me to stop worrying, it’s a little cold, he kept saying. OMG, every little cough and you want us checked out. Well, I can’t say I’m wrong worrying, some people don’t get the symptoms, look at C, I said. And you were coughing, DiDi said you coughed in the night and had the sweats, plus feeling rough. So don’t blame me for worrying that none of you or us are in danger of this horrible virus. (Yes, you can tell I was peeved.) 

Thankfully Daddy does seem to just have a cold and nothing sinister, won’t stop me always being on the lookout for signs though. 

Maybe I’m a bit OTT, I don’t know, but we all have older parents at risk, I admit, my health is not great and let’s face we are all in that middle-aged group. 

On top of this, we are now faced with the second lockdown this year. From 5th November until December, then our Boris will decide what will happen in December and for Christmas. But we want this bloody thing gone, so if that means we cannot meet up with anybody for Christmas, Hey I will deal with it, we can move Christmas to sometime next year when it’s safer. We just need to accept it won’t go until we stop meeting up and infecting people.

So enough of Covid 19.

I did “enjoy” …..no that’s a stretch. Let me explain. As I said, Master is working from home, so occasionally, he comes down to say hello, make a brew, just have a five-minute break. But one day he came into the kitchen, saying he had a half-hour break of meetings so I want some fun. He was baring the dreaded Ikea shoehorn. And he knows I hate that. I said, can’t you have fun and not use that thing. He said no, I like my Christmas shoehorn. (He didn’t get it for Christmas, not sure when it was, but it wasn’t even a present.) The shoehorn toy udea came from a girl I chatted too often on SpankingTube. Her hubby brought out the shoehorn for severe punishments, and she hated it. If I remember rightly, she threw it out once but that didn’t go well for her backside. 

Anyway, bend over and let me have some fun. One arm hugged my waist and the other brought that shoehorn down over and over. At first, I squirmed, wriggled a bit then as my ass got sorer, I could feel a firey burn, I began fighting more. Master moved my hair away from my face so he could watch my expression from each swat, I could see a smirk on his face, yes he was having fun. It’s a pity, I’m not. As his arm grabbed me tighter, his leg wrapped around my leg, so I couldn’t move at all. My cries got louder, yelping as he whacked my legs, trying to cover everywhere, yet knowing I couldn’t. This was twenty minutes of torture yet Master thoroughly enjoyed himself. And I suppose that’s the main thing. I did admire my bruised ass afterward though and got a pretty big bruise on my leg, just under my sit spot.

A few selfies after Master decided he wanted some fun. The shoehorn and my ass.

My blog for September.

How can each month pass by so boringly?

COVID is really getting on my nerves, I feel like part of me is missing, so desperate to touch Daddy and DiDi, it’s been months since we last went to their house and spend the night together and now, according to the new law, we will not be seeing them for the next few months at all. It will be back to having a quick conversation over the garden fence.

Obviously, I am not alone in feeling COVID is getting on my last nerve. Since February, my life has been going to Tesco to food shop for us, my folks, and my inlaws. Drop off the shopping then back home. I’m becoming much more cautious, I wear a mask in the car now, nevermind when I’m in the shops.

It’s infuriating at the supermarket, when people are in the queue to disinfect the trolley we are using, then put antibacterial gel on our hands, yet some people just bypass both, walk straight in, who knows what they then touch. Plus some idiots still don’t wear masks even though it’s the law.

Anyway, as I mentioned in my last blog, I’ve been doing these walking challenges and I’m now on my 4th. Now I choose the medal I like first, then whatever the walk is, I will do. The one for September was 10.1 miles, 16.2 km. I reckoned it would probably be over a month before I finished it, but I smashed it. I started on Sept 1, I finished it Sept 28. I was so chuffed, this was a HUGE accomplishment for me. I’ve had a few walking goals I had been trying to do, (walking to different parts of town, around different blocks, seeing different places), don’t forget I’ve not walked like this for over 8 years. Even when I damaged my back, I would try to walk and fight against the pain, but now, my meds are helping with the pain, I’m finally seeing a loss on the scales, and losing weight gradually, so my walk, though still very very slow, is becoming a little easier. Some days I’m done in after it, there’s no way I can do anything else for the rest of the day, so I think those walks were too long. I’m amazed how much I am enjoying it, still listening to my Nashville soundtracks, doubt that will ever change. I did one long walk that was really too long, stupid of me to try. My thoughts were, I used to manage this walk with our dogs, years ago, but I got ¾ through it before I began thinking I can’t do it, I’m going to have to take a shortcut, but stupidly my sensible head was gone, so I pushed and pushed and continued. When I got home, oh boy my back, my hips were killing and I was like this for 3 days. So I cannot do that again and I should know better. I am now aiming for some Christmas medals, the one I’m doing now is called Shelf to 5 km, a cheeky elf medal, there were 2 varieties, elf with a blue background or an elf with a clear glittery background, or you can do the walk twice or buy them both. I bought them both mainly because there are another 3 Christmas medals I’d like to achieve before the end of the year. I just have to wear my big girl panties and go for walks in all weather. It won’t do me any harm having a walk whilst it’s raining.

My biggest walking challenge had to be me walking to the local Mercedes dealership, okay it’s only a 0.22 km, 0.14 mile walk, it was a walk I did regularly and I was determined to do it. I finally did it on Tuesday. I knew I was grinning like a Cheshire cat. The first person I wanted to tell was Miss Adira, only because we had chatted about this a few times. I took a selfie to show the gang and the best thing was I wasn’t sore after it. Master said he was really proud of me doing this walk and doing that challenge in less than a month. I think we both thought it would take much longer to complete and I know he worries about my back as he knows I can push myself far too much, to the point I’m in agony for weeks and can’t do anything.

Anyway, what else has happened…our poor kittykat had to have an operation last week, it’s her first operation and at 131/2 yrs old, that’s pretty good. But she had an “old age” lump growing on the side of her back leg. Last year it was infected, that’s when the vet said it was “an old age lump.” Then typically when the main lockdown happened in March, it became infected twice but I managed to clear it as we couldn’t get an appointment at the vets. But this time it looked nasty, so we went and as we suspected, the vet said it needs to come off. The next day after a fight getting her in the catbox, I left her with the vet. Picking her up about 3pm, leave her in for the next week or so, bring her back on Tuesday to take the dressing off, the nurse told me. As I had asked, she had a very nice pink dressing on. We had to buy a new litter tray and litter because we didn’t own one, she’s never used them. Thankfully for 2 days, she was just wanting to sleep. But the following day, we can safely say she was not happy, she wanted to go out. So putting a dog sock over her dressing, we let her go. Now I know this was against recommendation, but we know our kittykat, she will feel better going out for half an hour, then back inside to go to sleep. On her final check-up, she needed to wear a cone to stop her from touching it and told do not let her out for 2 weeks. OMG. Yeh, the cone lasted 10 minutes, we let her out, she came in a bit later looking happy and so far, she is doing great. Now I know some may say we shudda followed what the vet said but we’ve had many pets and we can tell what is best for it. But we are watching her wound daily so if I think we’ve gone wrong, she will be back at the vets.

Now the other big, huge thing to tell you is Master and I are now the proud owners of a white van. Why is that so interesting, you may ask, well we are converting it into a campervan. Literally pulling everything out, down to the shell and starting from the beginning. We have never done anything like this before. Master is going through his mid-life crisis still and his need / love for speed is becoming worse. Getting fed up with speeding cameras, police on the road, he discovered there were no speed restrictions on the water. So my non-swimming partner decides he wants a jetski. He did a day of training, using a jetski and passed the test. So all his kit cars sold, we bought a van to convert, ordered a brand new 2021 jetski which will arrive just before Christmas, and ordered a little scooter to put on a bike rack. This way, if we are parked for the day or night and realize we have forgotten something, rather than having to store everything away in the camper to drive to the shops, he can pop on the scooter and go. So this a brand new scooter arrives next week. 

We are hoping to have our first night away in the camper by Spring next year, maybe we can get a day trip in it before Christmas. Master has watched countless hours on YouTube about how to do this and that, plus I am even getting to use mechanical, scary tools !! Something Daddy was slightly worried about, as he thought I may end up cutting a finger off or something like that. 

I must say I never thought at 51, I would be doing this, but I am having so much fun and enjoying working side by side with Master. Though he does enjoy watching my chaotic way of working but I think this is improving slightly. 

When we were putting the soundproofing in, Master did say, when we put the harnesses on the ceiling, to make a St Andrews Cross, no one will hear a thing. Plus put harnesses where the bed will be, so I can be tied to the bed. Not sure if this will happen, but the idea is rather fun and exciting.

So I suppose even though I said it was a bit of a boring month, reading this, I’ve done quite a bit. Anyway, let’s see what happens in October. Catch up later girls and boys.

Some selfies whilst dying my hair plum colour.

Think someone wants to give my ass a spanking.
Yes please Master
Spank me. Squeeze my ass. Then spank me more.

Piggy’s (Miss Adira’s) August blog.

Piggy’s (Miss Adira’s) Blog for August

So not much has happened in August, so I’ll tell you what I have planned for September.

So firstly it’s mine and the hubbies anniversary, 13 years that we have been married (suppose I’d better get him a card) we aren’t doing anything. If I’m honest we don’t normally, someone forgot one year and let’s just say it wasn’t me.

Something exciting is happening though on one of the Saturdays, I’m getting a tattoo. What another tattoo you say, why is that exciting! Well this is very special to me, before having C, we unfortunately lost our little girl at 20 weeks. Jessica is very much a part of our family, she certainly has not been forgotten. We talk about her constantly, we have pictures around our home that reference her presence and her being a part of the family. I have been wanting another tattoo in her honour, I have two others for her and one that incorporates both my children.

The one I’m going to get has taken some thought about what I wanted, where I wanted it. I have been researching some elements I wanted to have incorporated within the design but again wanted something quite simple. I wanted a baby loss ribbon, but this needed to be the main body of a butterfly but didn’t want it to be too tatty or simple. Then I wanted to have an element of water colour within it as well. I saw all the ideas that I wanted and sent it to my tattooist who put all the elements and did me a design. I like what he sent to me, I loved the look of it, I have shown it to a few people and they have said it’s really pretty and beautiful. The tattoo is not to the scale that I have had previously, my others have taken up to 6 hours to complete, this one should take no more than 2 hours. I’m really looking forward to getting this done and seeing what the end product looks like.

I will no doubt tell you about it and show pictures on my next blog, take care everyone.

Oh wait we are out of local lockdown so I can finally get my eyebrows done, they are a mess and really need to get sorted out……..

Miss Adira’s blog for July.

Hi Everyone 

I hope that you are well and still coping well with the current situation. We are all doing good. We have managed to sneak in some meetups. Although you already know this as Aurora has already mentioned this and yes it was nice to see everyone. 

So a bit about what I have been doing, or trying to do. When the lockdown first happened I decided that I should enrol in a HR course, something people have been saying that I should do. With my job I do deal with various staff management and HR issues from staff appraisals and various other issues that arise from working with people. I have been doing this for nearly 20 years. I do not have an official qualification for this though, I do for all my people management and such but not for the HR side of things. 

I’ve started a CIPD Level 5 in HR, this was in April, been struggling with motivation. It is a lot of work assignments. There are approximately 8 different topics that I need to cover, each assignment will have a certain amount of word count and I will also have to submit evidence that I have also been putting some of my learning into practise. 

Therefore this month I have really knuckled down into what I need to do in relation to what it is I need to do and familiarise myself with the site again, where I need to look for things and what it is I need to do to finish this. I have set myself a goal of completing it by January 2021, I have until April 2021 to complete by. 

I know this month is short and sweet, but not much else has been happening. 

Wish me luck with my coursework and that i’ll be able to keep myself motivated 

My new little tasks

The little tasks Miss Adira set.

Miss Adira could sense I was getting low, well lower than low. So decided to set me some tasks, get me thinking about other things and get out of the house. 

The first week, the tasks amused me a lot.

  1. Find 2 different types of post boxes, take a photo of each.
  2. Draw a cartoon sketch, no more than 5 boxes.
  3. Find me a funny street name.
  4. Take a picture of you at funny street name.
  5. When in supermarket-find something you think I would like that costs no more than £1

Hmmm, that got my thinking cap on, went on google, searched for rude street names and came across one, Cockle Dicks Lane, found it on my sat-nav, then went off for a drive. It was a beautiful day, so window down, music playing, I located this lane. No 3 and 4 done. On my drive home I searched for different post boxes. Now I obviously got the main UK red post box, but I knew we have ones fitted inside walls, ones half the size of the usual post box. But could I find them? No. But as I drove around, I saw lots of the posh, expensive houses have post boxes in the front gate, gate post or garden wall. Okay, that would work, it is a post box. So No 1 done.

When I went to Tesco to do a grocery shop, I was also searching for this thing DiDi may like. I didn’t want to pick sweets or snacky things, stuff I knew she’d like, I wanted something different. But costing under £1 was the challenge. I looked at the cucumber and thought, well I have an idea what she may do with this but the girth was rather slim. So I went to look for courgettes, butternut squash or aubergines. Now the butternut squash were huge, I mean gigantic, the courgettes were more realistic, so I picked one that looked pretty girthy, popped it on the scales, got a print out of what it cost, 73p. Perfect. No 5 done.

Finally, all I had to do was No 2, the sketch, I thought about a story to do for the cartoon, then did a rough copy. A kinda stick people sketch. But it looked good, DiDi did ask was this something I wanted, coz usually what I write about is something I want to happen for real, or has happened for real, I said I hadn’t actually thought about it, but yes, I do think it sounds fun.

So there was my first-week task done. It was fun, and started to think that maybe if it wasn’t to difficult for DiDi, maybe do this every week, even after the lockdown has finished, though I did ask if there would be consequences if I didn’t complete it. She said no, it’s just a fun game for you, no stressing, no worrying about it, it’s just fun.

That evening she set the next week’s tasks. And it was somewhat more than I thought she’d set.

1) find something historic in your town…

2) go to said location n do me a video telling me some facts and information about said place….at least 1 minutes n more than 3minutes

Okay, I had 2 ideas immediately for this. Studied them on Google, then picked The Round House, which is a famous house for our town. I wrote down what I wanted to say, picked a time where there was no rain, got me selfie stick, and went and did my report. Unfortunately, I managed to delete the video, so I had to do it again. And it was blowing a gale that day.

3)Find street names…where first letter in street names…starts with A,B and C…pictures required

Reasonable task. All I did was drive around side streets searching for the street names.

4) find a diamond picture that you think I’d like…and send link

Hmmmmmmm, okay I’m sure I will find one and did pretty quickly. I think she would love it. She said it was very pretty.

5) write me a very Erotic story…no more than 1 A4 page…

My mind began swirling around ideas, there was one thing my Mistress would love me to do, but she won’t force me to do it, and that is for me to go down on her. I have a bit of a thing about bodily fluids in those areas. Anyway, I chose this as my main subject of the story. If I’m allowed, I will type it out and post it.

6) plan me my ideal 3 course meal…( just a hint) we still may be going away in October 😉

This may take some thinking, wonder if Daddy can help with this. I later asked Daddy but he said he’d been told not to help. GGrrrr.

Thinking about what she would normally eat if we went out. I will be honest, Daddy did give me some ideas but I wrote it out as if it was a set Menu.

7) take me 3 sneaky pics of Sir without him knowing ( they cant be all of him watching tele)

Reasonable one, completed fairly quickly.

8) find me something online that costs no more than £3 that you think I’ll like..has to be kink related

This I thought would be easy, but it was quite hard finding something kink related. Everything in the kinky online stores had nothing under £5, even in the sale so I thought outside the box. What would I fancy ? Everything I thought of didn’t work out coz they were too expensive. So I came up with a punnet of strawberries, a pack of Nutella And Go, (a snack pot, half Nutella, half biscuit fingers) and finally squirty cream. For me, you could do some good kinky stuff with this lot.

9) find me 3 lampposts…that have a 7,3,1 and a 0..they have to be a minimum of let’s say 3 miles away from your house and have to be on different streets…here’s the challenge….1st lamppost has to be over 3 miles away…lamp post 2 ..has to be 2 mile away from 1st lamppost…and lamppost 3 has to be 1 mile away from 2and lamppost…and I’dike street names of were each lamppost is…4 can be anywhere you choose….

This one, well I read, re-read, re-read again. Okay, this one is a challenge. I needed to use the trip-meter in my car and had no idea where it was. I asked Master and E but all they said was, I’d ask Google. Very helpful. So on Thursday as it was the last one I had to do, I went off on this exploration. Firstly I need this trip-meter. So I asked Google, well I actually asked the car first, but she didn’t help. Google took me to YouTube, with many videos showing how to find it. Eventually, I got on the screen, Do you want to reset trip-meter, Yes or No. I clicked Yes. And it worked. Cool…… So I had to drive 3 miles away or more, then find a lamppost. Reset the trip-meter, for 1 mile, did the second lamppost, reset trip-meter for another 1 mile, and did the next lamppost. This actually sounds simple, but finding a lamppost with a particular number on it and drive was tricky, so I went down side roads that were quiet if there were any cars behind me, I stopped and let them carry on. Finally, I did a drive around to find lamppost 4, this could be anywhere so I didn’t need the trip setting.

Miss Adira was very happy with my task for the week, the erotic story got her tingling, which I smiled about, I’ve now learned, ( I think,) how to find the trip-meter, though if I don’t use it again for months I may have to look it up again. But I was really chuffed with myself for actually finding it myself. Not needing Master or E’s help.  I was curious to see what tasks would come next. Also wondered what the 10th one wudda been if I completed it too quickly, as she said it was a biggen.

Later last Sunday I got this week’s task. 

1) find shops that spell out my name…cannot duplicate shops….n I’ll have my full name please, Miss Adira.

2) I liked the historical info…so I’d like a historical area/street- same as before, go to said location n do me video telling me that historical info

3) give me a list/info to what you think my perfect evening with you would be- after I’ve had my favourite 3 course meal

4) find me a sexual toy that we could both enjoy that would be new to us both. That would cost less than £20 n send me the link

5) find me an erotic short story- needs to be short as reading bores me- so needs to hold my attention

On the way to see my folks yesterday, I looked for ideas for the first task. Find shop names and take a photo. Now my first thought about this task was that I would not be going to town, walking around the streets, minging with other people, to find shops. And I told Miss Adira, who said well leave it then. Then I began to think if there was a way I could do it without being close to other humans, that’s when I thought maybe I could do it, driving through towns, taking the photo through the car window. That would work. So driving slowly through the village I spotted 2 shops next to each other that I needed. There was no one on the road, on either direction, now I know you should not park on zig zaggy lines, by a pedestrian crossing, but there was no one near, and I knew I would be only a few seconds, so I grabbed my phone, going to take a photo of each shop, until I heard a horn beeping and there was a traffic enforcement officer in his van, telling me to move on. Blimey did he not know I was on a task. I shudda known better really, especially as both Daddy and Miss Adira work for traffic enforcement, in different towns. So I waited until I was on my home to stop in a legal place to then take some photos. BUT, when I told Daddy, he wasn’t best impressed, he said if he had stopped me he would’ve given me a ticket, which would be a £1000 fine plus 3 points on your license. “Do you really think you were right to stop there ?” he asked. “Well no, but I was only gonna be a few seconds,” I said.

As I obviously wasn’t gonna admit I was wrong, even though I know I was, I ended up getting a consequence.

This is the message Daddy sent to the family group chat;

“Right just been speaking to a certain someone, who thinks it’s ok to stop on a pedestrian crossing to take photos and gets annoyed when asked to move…..so this certain someone has to do a 1500 word essay on why white zigzags are down, why WE DO NOT stop on them, the legal consequences on stopping on them……for next Monday…….we all know who this certain someone is…

There are things I could say to this, but I will be sensible and be a good girl and just get on with it.

I’ve decided on the historic fact I want to talk about and I wrote my speech so that one is half done, for No 2. I have completed No 3, and written down what will follow after our 3-course meal. I’ve found a short book I think for No 5, I hope DiDi enjoys it, I’ve read it and it’s very good. The only issue is, it comes in 4 parts, and Miss Adira is not really a reader, but I found, as soon as I read the first part, I was hooked and had to buy the series. So I do think she will get hooked after the first book because she will want to see what happens next.

For No 1, I’ve found 4 shops so far, got another 5 to find, so I will have a drive around again, but be sensible and follow the highway code.

No 4, oh boy this is a hard one. Trying to think about what toys we’ve not got, even if we’ve got them but not tried them, and I really am struggling. I’m going to have to go through all the kinky shops and see what we’ve not tried. Just whilst typing this out, I’ve had 2 ideas, but 1 I know Daddy will not let us do at all coz I’ve already discussed it. So I will have a look and see if I can think of anything else. .if not, I will choose the idea I’ve just thought of.

feeling down

Feeling extremely down.

Over the years I have suffered with some form of depression, I’m not ashamed of it or to say it, I feel people do need to be very open about it then maybe others can understand it more.

Postnatal depression was the first, thankfully not lasting too many years.

When I had my accident at work, 16 years ago and popped 5 discs, finding out I’d 5 degenerative discs in my lower back, followed by many many other health issues following on from my back injury, I was told I’d never be able to work again. At 34 years old, this became a very hard thing to accept. I was now disabled. I was treated terribly by my boss, who laughed at my injury, when I lost control my bladder she was hysterical. I think she believed I was putting it on, that my back hurt only a tiny bit, she had a bad back so I think she thought it was something and nothing, and as for my bladder, I do think she thought it was general leaking you get when you are older. Not a full out accident, I felt nothing of my bladder, until it became so full, I would wet myself. But I never knew it would happen or worse, where it would happen. Thankfully I had an operation a few years ago so I can now feel it.

But all this took a bad effect on me and I was back on anti-depressants, it took years before I could drive past where I worked, say its name, even longer to say my boss’s name. I’ve seen her twice in the 16 years since I left and each time I’ve wanted to punch her lights out, I see her smirk as I’m walking slowly, using a walking stick.

Now I just say, F**k You to myself, I’m better than her and I’ve still managed to have a great life. Which is only getting better.

I’ve not felt really down for quite a while, but I am still on my anti-depressant. 

This lockdown has slowly driven me up the wall. Having 16 weeks of lockdown, only going to the supermarket then to my parents or in-laws, I’m slowly going a bit mad.

I feel stressed, on edge, wanting to be f**ked, but couldn’t be bothered, wanting a play spanking but couldn’t be bothered. Food wasn’t interesting, not even chocolate, wasn’t bothered about having a drinkie, I was in an automatic state, get up, at stupid early morning hours, do my homework, do the housework, eat, vegetate in front of TV, eat, go to bed very early as I was falling asleep by 7pm.

Day in, day out.

Both Master and our son were working from home, but its become irritating, there are things I can’t do now, as it may disturb them. I can’t get in to tidy E’s bedroom. Now I know, he’s 20, he can do it himself, but as he works long days, I’m happy to do it, though I do nag him to tidy it up himself. All I’m doing is putting his clothes away or in the wash basket, bring down all his pots and empty his bin, so his room isn’t smelly. I guess I’m a soft mum and feel if I can do it, I will. I know he’s capable of doing it, as his girlfriend says he’s really tidy on holiday or when he stays at her house. And as I don’t work as such, my full-time job is a housewife, so this is one of my tasks. In truth, I don’t mind, even if I nag, he’s not gonna be living here forever, they’re saving for a house, So I will continue to do these little things for him. When I can get into his room. But Master has been saying he would like to work from home 4 days a week, something I said no to straight away. I love him dearly, to the moon and back but when he’s home he just loves to wind me up, then get E involved, it’s like their sole mission in life when home. I need that space for myself, to have the house to myself, not to hear them both talking whilst in meeting after meeting. I told Master I would start digging his grave if he began working from home permanently LOL. He just joked that I couldn’t dig the hole without his help, which is true. LOL. I’ve compromised and said 3 days at home, 2 days in the office if he can, that way our cleaner can come and hoover without worrying about disturbing him, and I get a full day of peace and quiet too. I thought the idea of him working from home would be ok at first, I’d see him more, it’s certainly made him seem more relaxed without the long travel to work and back, but he’s much busier when he’s home than in the office for some reason. But full time at home, no, no, no. What am I gonna do when he retires !!!!!

But I’m still tetchy, I know I’ve been grumpy with everyone, unfortunately I take it out more on Daddy which I hate and need to stop because it’s not fair. I feel my nerves on edge from the minute I’m up to going to bed,

The worry about this virus is affecting me mentally, worrying about my parents or inlaws catching it, about all the family catching it, I’ve not liked the idea of Daddy having to work but I know he has an essential job, exactly the same for Miss Adira. Master hasn’t left the house once since lockdown began, 16 weeks ago, even now as things opening up again neither him nor I have any intention of going out still. Master worries about me when I go to do the shopping, my immune system and resistance is very low due to all my health problems, and I can quickly pick something up and end up really sick for weeks. So this virus scares us both, I worry more about Mum and Mother-in-law, as their immune system is even worse, when they get sick, it’s months until they recover from it.

Then we’ve our lovely neighbours, single mum with 3 kids, now yes they’re reasonably polite, don’t swear at each other (yet) but the noise. The arguments, screaming, day and night, on a few occasions I’ve thought I should phone the police, Mum just lets the kids screech for hours, and I do mean hours. It’s not a cry out, just seems her youngest likes to screech all the time. The chance of a peaceful read in the garden has come to an end and as schools have been closed, you can tell the kids are bored, but Mum doesn’t do anything with them. She will gab over the garden fence to a family member, whilst kids go crazy. They used to climb on our fence all the time but I became a bear with a sore tooth, I was outside every few minutes for a few days to stop them climbing, making it sound like I was concerned about them coz if the fence breaks they will get hurt, I really am more bothered about our fence. But god, the noise, I’m trying to figure a way to say can you play a bit quieter, some days I can’t even hear the tv, they’re that loud. They play in the front and the back of the house, there’s no place for peace.

So lockdown/stay safe and sensible, it’s becoming a nightmare that isn’t ending. Then there’s the concern of a second round of the disease.  It’s like, will things ever improve.

Then my Miss Adira began saying she was going to set tasks to keep my mind occupied. I know she was worried about my mental state. The tasks would be fun things, it wasn’t a serious thing so if I didn’t get it all done, there would be no consequences, it was purely to keep my mind occupied and get out of the house. I will tell you about them in my next blog.

Got my butt spanked

Got my butt spanked last time as I accused Master of lying twice yesterday, he does not like to called a liar ever. As he never lies.

I couldn’t find 2 different things, thinking Master had moved them, to wind me up so I go looking for ages. They were actually where I left them.

Instead of asking him to help me look, or did he see where I put it, or just looking more, I told Master he musta done it. Unfortunately for me, I was wrong. And I deserved this spanking.

Master has now decided morning spankings will resume as he thinks I’m in need of it.

Last night I was bent over the bed whilst the Giant Devil walloped my ass.

This morning I was over his knee, whilst the Little Devil walloped my ass.