Piggy/Miss Adora’s blog for November.

So another lockdown, another covid test and another positive result…

Pretty much getting fed up with it all now. So it was my hubbies and my turn to test positive this time. Only this time I had an appointment I couldn’t miss, I’d had to cancel it once already and really didn’t want to again. 

I’d been waiting for a an appointment to get my lady bits checked out. See, I’d had an abnormal smear and needed further investigation,  now I’d already cancelled it once before and really didn’t want to again. Well working out from my positive result date and my appointment, I was good but only by a few days. 

So, to cut a long story short, I’ve been to the appointment, the team I saw were fantastic and really did put me at ease. I’m due my results any day soon from the biopsy they took, so hopefully it’s good news.

Manho the Daddy’s blog for November.

Manho’s November blog.

How do, readers, another month past and ever so close to Christmas…..bloody cancelled. 

So what’s happened in this last month, well both me and Piggy decided to go and get the woohoo flu at the beginning of the month, I thinks I may of caught it at work with one of my valued colleagues, the diseased son of a bitch, then passed onto Piggy. So we were both off for the beginning of November which was rather crap. 

At the end of our isolation, my new motor scooter arrived, so I decided to get a bobber styled motorcycle as Piggy wouldn’t ride on the back of the sports bike I had, so I hunted for a nice either cruiser or bobber and found a Yamaha xv950 which had a lot of custom parts added and rather nice, and must admit rides really nice as well.

I took Piggy to work on the old motorcycle and realised the rear shocks needed adjusting so it was not as bouncy. So after taking her to work on it, I went to see the lads at the garage I used and they adjusted the shocks for free and they, I say they, it’s a family run business, father and son, both had a jolly ride on it and both thoroughly enjoyed it and was impressed.

So apart from having woohoo flu and obtaining a new motorcycle not much has happened, work then home, work then home…

Oh I bought Piggy a new fish tank as part of her Xmas present as she does rather like her fishes, so just ordered all her bits to start up with so she can set her tank up, then we can look at introducing some fishes, once we know the water is ready. So that will be exciting for her. 

Also it’s her birthday in December so double treat with some new boots she likes…

I have ordered all presents for Master and Little Minx’s from me a Piggy so they will arrive at the beginning of December, then it’s the task of wrapping them…

Anyways, readers, not much more to say this month, all being well a little more of a blog next month as it’s Christmas and New Year, so until next month readers be safe….

A few selfies after Master decided he wanted some fun. The shoehorn and my ass.

Some selfies whilst dying my hair plum colour.

Think someone wants to give my ass a spanking.
Yes please Master
Spank me. Squeeze my ass. Then spank me more.

Miss Adira’s blog for July.

Hi Everyone 

I hope that you are well and still coping well with the current situation. We are all doing good. We have managed to sneak in some meetups. Although you already know this as Aurora has already mentioned this and yes it was nice to see everyone. 

So a bit about what I have been doing, or trying to do. When the lockdown first happened I decided that I should enrol in a HR course, something people have been saying that I should do. With my job I do deal with various staff management and HR issues from staff appraisals and various other issues that arise from working with people. I have been doing this for nearly 20 years. I do not have an official qualification for this though, I do for all my people management and such but not for the HR side of things. 

I’ve started a CIPD Level 5 in HR, this was in April, been struggling with motivation. It is a lot of work assignments. There are approximately 8 different topics that I need to cover, each assignment will have a certain amount of word count and I will also have to submit evidence that I have also been putting some of my learning into practise. 

Therefore this month I have really knuckled down into what I need to do in relation to what it is I need to do and familiarise myself with the site again, where I need to look for things and what it is I need to do to finish this. I have set myself a goal of completing it by January 2021, I have until April 2021 to complete by. 

I know this month is short and sweet, but not much else has been happening. 

Wish me luck with my coursework and that i’ll be able to keep myself motivated 

Meeting the family today.

Second meet this afternoon with Daddy, Miss Adira and family.

With not seeing our family since early Feb due to Miss Adira hurting her shoulder and then the dreaded Covid. We finally met last week for a few hours, inside the house, for Master’s birthday, it made his birthday that much nicer and we were having dinner together, I’d say we cooked burgers and hotdogs but really that meant, Master did the cooking as we want them edible, and I got the plates out etc. The 4 of us should have had our naturists holiday that week, but it was cancelled. Then this week, Daddy and Miss Adira should have had their family holiday with C and grandparents, but that was cancelled.

So as Daddy has today off for once, they said let’s come over for a few hours, with C and BlueBlue.

Trying to not be as OCD over this virus, I’m more comfy having visitors, usually C goes up to our room, so he has peace and he can either watch our tv or watch YouTube on his phone. But he’s happy doing that. Last week he stayed downstairs, but this week we said for God’s sake, at some point we need to start our lives again so this is the start.C can have our room to watch his stuff.

We would love to be able to play, kiss, just cuddle, but that’s still a No No. But I can’t imagine our Boris Johnson announcing, to the country, for all you polygamists, swingers, BDSM lovers, lovers of any kind who do not live in your household, you may now play without restrictions, no safe distancing needed and you can play without your masks. I can’t really see him saying that. But I think we will just have to wait, see how the virus is going, if it begins to spread or finally die off for now. Be sensible in ourselves, so if one of us is feeling unusually unwell, then we will have to keep to safe distancing.

But it’s so hard seeing each other when we are all desperate to play. Both myself and Miss Adira are in need of a mega release, with spankings, fudging, and multi, multi orgasms. LOL. I know Daddy can’t wait to get his hands on a paddle with my butt out for him and I’m pretty sure DiDi will feel the same, though maybe not another 4 hour spanking session, as her shoulder is still giving her problems, mainly due to the fact everything shut down just after our play day together so she hasn’t really been properly checked out yet. 

But looking forward to a lovely afternoon/evening, sitting seperately, but at least we will be together still. Having a takeaway delivered, and I think Daddy is bringing me some sweeties as a treat.

I’m sure we are not alone in wondering when is it safe to meet with your Dom/Domme or with your lover, so I know we are not the only ones having these issues, but fingers crossed life continues to start looking better and we do not get this second wave. Which is my biggest worry.

Things must be looking better coz I’ve shaved and put some makeup on today. Another way in which I am trying to get life back to how it was. Next stage will be healthy eating, but Master and I are in the getting mentally prepared stage, as we like to call it. Where we spend a month contemplating dieting and then deciding if we can really be bothered or not. But we both know we should do really, it’s just hard work, and we like our goodies too much. 

Here’s to the world slowly getting things going, improving, safer, wearing our masks when we go out is no hardship really compared to the alternatives.

With not seeing our family since early Feb due to Miss Adira hurting her shoulder and then the dreaded Covid. We finally met last week for a few hours, inside the house, for Master’s birthday, it made his birthday that much nicer and we were having dinner together, I’d say we cooked burgers and hotdogs but really that meant, Master did the cooking as we want them edible, and I got the plates out etc. The 4 of us should have had our naturists holiday that week, but it was cancelled. Then this week, Daddy and Miss Adira should have had their family holiday with C and grandparents, but that was cancelled.

So as Daddy has today off for once, they said let’s come over for a few hours, with C and BlueBlue.

Trying to not be as OCD over this virus, I’m more comfy having visitors, usually C goes up to our room, so he has peace and he can either watch our tv or watch YouTube on his phone. But he’s happy doing that. Last week he stayed downstairs, but this week we said for God’s sake, at some point we need to start our lives again so this is the start.C can have our room to watch his stuff.

We would love to be able to play, kiss, just cuddle, but that’s still a No No. But I can’t imagine our Boris Johnson announcing, to the country, for all you polygamists, swingers, BDSM lovers, lovers of any kind who do not live in your household, you may now play without restrictions, no safe distancing needed and you can play without your masks. I can’t really see him saying that. But I think we will just have to wait, see how the virus is going, if it begins to spread or finally die off for now. Be sensible in ourselves, so if one of us is feeling unusually unwell, then we will have to keep to safe distancing.

But it’s so hard seeing each other when we are all desperate to play. Both myself and Miss Adira are in need of a mega release, with spankings, fudging, and multi, multi orgasms. LOL. I know Daddy can’t wait to get his hands on a paddle with my butt out for him and I’m pretty sure DiDi will feel the same, though maybe not another 4 hour spanking session, as her shoulder is still giving her problems, mainly due to the fact everything shut down just after our play day together so she hasn’t really been properly checked out yet. 

But looking forward to a lovely afternoon/evening, sitting seperately, but at least we will be together still. Having a takeaway delivered, and I think Daddy is bringing me some sweeties as a treat.

I’m sure we are not alone in wondering when is it safe to meet with your Dom/Domme or with your lover, so I know we are not the only ones having these issues, but fingers crossed life continues to start looking better and we do not get this second wave. Which is my biggest worry.

Things must be looking better coz I’ve shaved and put some makeup on today. Another way in which I am trying to get life back to how it was. Next stage will be healthy eating, but Master and I are in the getting mentally prepared stage, as we like to call it. Where we spend a month contemplating dieting and then deciding if we can really be bothered or not. But we both know we should do really, it’s just hard work, and we like our goodies too much. 

Here’s to the world slowly getting things going, improving, safer, wearing our masks when we go out is no hardship really compared to the alternatives.

So April’s blog, what’s been going on.

Whilst the world is still in chaos, fighting this evil virus, us, the people are still trying to live as normally as possible. I will start by saying I hope you are all staying safe, keeping a safe distance from others, and following the guidelines set by the government from your country.

As for little old me, life has been pretty normal, other than Master working from home every day, not just Friday and our son being furlowed so he’s either asleep or stuck on his Xbox, coming down for food and drink.

As most businesses are closed, that also meant our dog groomer was unable to come and our Muffin Moo Moo, a Cavachon, her fur is more like a King Charles Cavalier’s fur and gets terribly matted whereas her brother Dave has fur more like a Bichon Frise, he looks like he has a perm. Never knotty. Anyway we’ve ended up buying a dog grooming kit, I’m gonna watch some YouTube videos helping me learn how to do it. In the meantime I’ve had to bath them twice so far and poor Muffi has had tight areas of matted fur. I’ve had to cut away, try to comb it away. Her skin looked sore but the vets are only taking emergency appointments, otherwise, I would have to take a photo of the sore area, then the vet would phone if I needed medication for her, I would then go to the vets, knock on the door where a bag of medication would be handed out through the door. Payment by card only. So I decided I just had to remove the matted areas as best as I could do. This took over 3 days as I didn’t want her sore everywhere. I’ve no idea if I’m going to be able to use these clippers but I’ve gotta try it.

One thing that has been awful, is my back. Without a dryer, I’m drying the laundry on an airer or the radiators, without a dishwasher, I’m having to wash the pots by hand. Now before anyone says well they are pretty standard chores, yes they are. Unless you have 6 degenerative discs, nerve damage, and a load of other medical issues. Doing just these chores are bad enough.

Now include doing the cleaning, brushing and mopping the floor, I’m refusing to hoover the stairs, one of the boys will have to do that. It’s reminded me why I now have a cleaner. Bathing the dogs was a killer so I had to get E to help as Master was working.

The boys are helping me, which I really appreciate, but I still find I try to do it all myself, especially as Master is still working and E doesn’t get up til around noon. I’d have the jobs done before then.

Then there’s the food shopping, I usually would do this by delivery, but it seems impossible to get one. I’m also doing shopping for the old folk, my parents and inlaws. My Mum has been classed as high risk so Dad is able to get an immediate shop delivered but sometimes he will need a few items, my inlaws somehow manage to get a delivery slot for a supermarket but I know they go online, frequently throughout the days to check the deliveries for any of our supermarkets. They have been lucky enough to actually get one. But they often need a few bits if I’m going. I must admit I couldn’t be bothered scouring the delivery slots until I got one.

One thing I’ve had to do this month is to use my disability for my own advantage, something I don’t like doing. But whenever I go to the shop, the queue is really long, and I knew I couldn’t stand in the queue for half an hour before getting to the shop. So as usual,  taking my walking stick with me as all the trolleys are kept inside the shop to keep them clean, I’ve asked if I can go straight in as I won’t be able to stand in the queue then go shopping.

Luckily I know most of the staff in Tesco, and they have seen me when I’ve seized up, unable to walk. They’ve seen me use the Motability scooter shoppers so they know I’m not lying just to get to the front of the queue.

Like I said I would never use my disability in this way normally. And I hate asking for help.

E has helped with the shopping, he will do ours, as it’s a bigger shop whilst I do the old folks shop. But pushing the trolley around is extremely painful at the moment, having lots of twinges, making my left leg feel numb and throbbing.

But all that is insignificant compared to what is happening in the world.

One thing I know for certain is I’m missing our extended family, Daddy, Miss Adira, their son C and all the crazy pets. Not seeing them since early February has been really difficult. It was Daddy’s Birthday yesterday, the gifts he wanted from me were from Amazon but the delivery was late so I didn’t get them until Friday, So I packed up mine and Master’s presents then Master arranged a collection for the big box to be posted, so at least Daddy will get his presents within the week.

Though I wasn’t happy with Daddy this month as he began talking about getting a motorbike again. He’d seen one he really liked, the price was good and he trusted the dealer who was selling it and next thing I know he’d organized a deal and was picking it up 2 days later. As you may tell I’m not a fan of motorbikes, think they are dangerous, too fast and just don’t really like them, plus I can’t ride with him but I know Daddy has really missed riding a bike. I felt guilty telling him I didn’t want him to get one but at the end of the day, he’s a grown-up, he doesn’t drive fast and he says he is a very careful driver. The main reason I really didn’t want him to get one is he has arthritis in both hands and wrists and when he had the old bike, he really struggled so I’m worried this may happen again. He says the positioning is different from the other bike so his wrists aren’t bent like they were so I guess I just have to trust him and hope it doesn’t happen again. 

So all this in the last month, no doubt the following months will be very similar. This year has to be the one year we should forget but know full well we will never forget it. My Mum says “It’s a bit like me telling you about what it was like at the end of WW2, the ration books, helping each other, rebuilding their lives, by the time you have older grandchildren, you will tell be telling them about the virus that affected the entire world.”  This is very true and more poignant for Mum saying this as for once she’s remembered what is going on with this virus, as her dementia is getting worse. So hearing her say that really brought it home for me. 

The end of 2019 and the start of 2020 have been bad years healthwise for Master, Miss Adira and myself, chest infections that refused to go away and Miss Adira damaging her shoulder. Never imagining what came next would affect every country in the world. So far we’ve been very very lucky that neither families have had the scare of this virus, keeping our old folk safe in lockdown our main concern. The numbers are dropping very very slowly in England, hopefully this won’t encourage people going out unnecessarily as we only need one person in that contagious, unknowing period to start it spreading once more. And maybe this is the time to reflect, to think about others not just about ourselves, make the world a better place. And hope we will all see an ending very very soon.  

Stay safe fellow bloggers and dear readers xx

Just having a moan.

Sorry I’m just having a rant. Suffering with chronic pain sucks.

I’ve never hidden away from my disability since i joined Tube or Fetlife or from my own blog, I have always appreciated the kind messages left from fellow spankos.

Now I’m concerned the issue with my back has moved up my spine.

I’ve had degenerative discs in my lower back for the past 18 years. Surgeons will not do anything with it as there’s more chance it will become worse than better. So I’ve just had to deal with it.

But over the past 4 months or more, I’ve had very sharp, stabbing pain higher up my spine. Master says the muscles are very knotted and tight, but the pain, oh boy, it’s like the start of my back problems all over again. I’ve cried with the pain, very wobbly on my feet, cannot stand straight and I’m needing to hold on every time I am stood up. We think it covers 3 or 4 discs in the middle if my spine that feel different.

My emotions have been awful, you know the type of thing, telling Daddy and PiggyJ that they don’t deserve to be stuck with someone like me, they deserve a healthy couple, a load of rubbish I know, they knew about my disability and about Masters migraines from the beginning and happily signed up to be with us, through the good times and bad times, through the fun and the sad times. I got thoroughly told off by both of them for saying it, but I know they wouldn’t leave us. I know I didn’t mean it.

My mind goes into a jumble of pain, anger, then concern that Daddy and PiggyJ don’t deserve this in a relationship, that this isn’t what they wanted. I’m concerned that these issues are more serious, have I now got more degenerative discs ?

I can’t have MRI scans anymore due to the internal tens machine I have above my left buttock, so I’m not sure the drs could see any damage with a CT scan, it took many MRI scans before they found out what was wrong initially.

I’ve hardly been out since mid-December, cancelling dates with girlfriends. Daddy and Master have not let me go out shopping, Daddy has even done shopping for me on his day off and we’ve not been able to play for a few weeks. I have to beg to go out yet the answer is usually no.

Now it’s really getting me down, I can’t just spend my life lying down, I’ve a family to look after, pets that need me, my Dad needs me to help with Mum’s dementia and alzheimer’s yet I’m not able to do any of those things.

I’ve now made an appointment to see my GP, my mother-in-law is coming with me. We now have Bupa with Master’s job, but I’m not sure what this means for me, but I think it’s time I went for a check up.

I am truly hacked off with it now, it’s wearing me down, so exhausting, every movement is an effort. I don’t want to spend my life back on diazepam or something stronger like opiates. On top of this,  I’m trying to lose weight, yet with doing no exercise, it’s almost impossible as I can’t even walk the dogs at the moment.

I need to get out of this low dip in my life, I hate feeling so down. I think a nice spanking may help but Master or Daddy won’t give me one yet. So I’m stuck in this box of pain that won’t shrink away and I can honestly say I’m extremely pissed off with it.

Master and E are doing everything they can to help me, it’s easier now E is driving as he can go shopping to. But they must get tired of seeing ne fed up, having to help me get up, get dressed, even get showered. E must get upset seeing me struggle, I know they’ve lived with this for 18 years too, they’ve had to change their lives, and it is very tiring on Master. He has a long day at work, a very stressful job, when he comes home it’s often not to relax, it’s to sort me out first. But we live/cope with it better, Daddy and PiggyJ joining us helps us too. Now when Master has to go away, I’ve got them to call if I’m really struggling. But being one big family is keeping me positive most of the time. Life us just shit at times, like now.

Dementia / Alzheimer’s really sucks.

This is a blog mainly for myself, I needed to write down what I was feeling, regarding our life, Mum and how her dementia affects me.

 

Today I want to talk a bit about something that has become close to my life unfortunately, the devastating mental disease alzheimers / dementia.

We have known Mum was ill with this suspected disease for 6 years or longer. Over and over the memory tests came back as Mild Cognitive Impairment. This basically meant early alzheimer’s or dementia. In the 20 minute assessment the memory team could “ tell “ there was no change to Mum’s failing memory. They wanted no information from us, they only gauged it on the list of questions they asked in every visit. Mum started at 80/100, then stayed on 70/100 for a few years. Then a few weeks ago, it had suddenly dropped to 50/100. The team have finally agreed there is a problem, so she was going away to decide on a diagnosis and a care plan. She asked if they felt that medication would help, Dad said he thought it would be. But as we can’t get any medication inside her will adding to the number help. She has 7 tablets daily, 2 are too big so Dad breaks them in half so she has 9 a day, but at the most she may take only 2 or 3.

I know I should be happy that we may have a diagnosis but to be honest, I came to except Mum had dementia a long time ago. Dad on the other hand has only recently accepted it, finally seeing what we’ve seen all along.

The memory team were returning for another appointment, to explain what they want to do now. I wanted to be there, Dad agreed at first but now has changed his mind, Saying it may upset Mum if I’m there. Personally I’m not bothered if it upsets her, I need to know what they think, I need to tell them things and ask questions but Mum wouldn’t be happy about it. But also she would forget about it eventually too. But Dad said no.

Now I have the trouble of getting Dad to realise the help available will be of benefit to him. Such as a gardener, I know they won’t have a cleaner, but they could use a laundry facility that picks up and delivers their laundry, lastly a big thing to help would be ready meals, freshly made, companies will deliver them, put them in your freezer and it contains all the vitamins etc you need. A big help would be to have a carer to come in, just to give Mum her medication, maybe she will take them for them, though I’m not sure. Online we discovered many people suggested crunching the meds up and putting them in yoghurts or scrambled egg, I told Dad this, he thought it was a good idea.

What always happens though is Dad changes his mind, I think he feels like he’s betraying her by making all the decisions on his own, he always says, I will discuss it with Mum. But Mum can’t make those decisions as she still thinks she is doing everything, gardening, cooking, cleaning, laundry. Dad needs to understand he needs this help and be quick thinking to reply to Mum if she finds out Dad has someone doing these chores. I can understand why Dad feels awkward, Mum has always been the head of the family and now Dad needs to do it. I feel frustrated because I feel I can’t do anything until Dad starts to help himself. But he’s more concerned with making sure she doesn’t get upset, if she finds out about these things, and she will throw a major tantrum but she would get over it and then forget about it. Of course this may mean, she throws a tantrum regularly if she sees someone in the garden, picking up laundry. But at some point Dad needs to stand firm and just do it. Maybe I’m being harsh about it, I just see all of this on the outside and so does Master, my Dad’s sister and even E has suggested it when he has been around to see them.  I go through feeling guilty about feeling this way, I’ve tried putting my foot down, getting all the information for him, but its got to be him making the choices.

 

But why I needed to write the blog is how this disease can confuse me so much, like I know why she acts the way she does, but I still find myself questioning it.

Yesterday I went round to see them unexpectedly, Mum was in a lovely mood, like the old Mum, I always say, we sat in the garden and had a lovely catch up. Then we decided to go inside as it was quite hot out. She sat down and it was like a switch turned off, she started to doze off, Dad brought us a drink and I wanted to show them 2 videos that were of me getting in and out of Master’s new kit car. Now maybe she didn’t understand it, but there was no giggle or conversation about it. So it ended with me mainly talking to Dad. Though I always look at them both so Mum feels she is part of the conversation. But the switch had changed, if we tried to engage in a conversation, we got, I don’t know, I’m useless, I’m a waste of space, I’m just a midget, I shouldn’t be here, I’m just a little small shit.   Mum never swears.

This is the time I lose patience, I will not pander to her pity comments like Dad always does, because I don’t think it works. Dad has spent years doing this, instead of almost telling her off, telling her she can’t be these things, with all she has done in her life. She can’t have no confidence when she’s been a teacher, plus gone on stage playing the piano for different choirs, even travelling Europe for choir competitions. This is not the disease talking though, this is how Mum sees herself, and has done all her life. Dad has never built up her confidence, he says, there there to her instead.

Now I’m a bit similar to Mum, I don’t have a lot of confidence, but what’s the point complaining about being small, or curvy, I am what I am, plus Master has never allowed me to pity myself, he doesn’t pander to my insecurities, instead he builds me up, the change in me since I started to go out with him, plus have his parents build me up too, my confidence is so much greater. Yes I don’t like going to new places or mix with new people, even people I know, I feel nervous, but soon I would relax into it. And I would chat with anyone, Mum would never do that unless someone comes to speak to her, she’s never joined in by herself. She will sit with a stoney, almost bitchy evil look on her face, which in all honesty, no one would feel like going to speak to this person who looks like that. Plus she’s of the age where you should make eye contact when talking, something a lot of us don’t do, we may be looking at the TV, looking around, on your phone, this annoys her, that’s when we get the pity talk. Again this has been Mum all her life, So all these things come out fiercely when the switch changes.

The pity talk began, Dad sensed it too, so went to make another drink, bringing Mum a glass of milk. “What’s that for ?” She asked quite nastily.”It’s for your tummy, it helps soothe it.” But I’ve not mentioned anything about it ?” She said. “You have sweetie, plus you’ve been rubbing your tummy.” Dad replied patiently. “Well if you can tell my tummy is sore, even though it’s my tummy, I suppose so. I must be useless because I don’t think I am.” She was very angry. Then Dad asked,  “If I didn’t mind would I go home as he needed to have his afternoon nap.” I said “Yes of course, I was going to go now anyway.” “A nap ?” Mum said. “Since when do you have a nap. We never have a sleep during the day, what are you talking about.” She was furious. Dad tried to calmly, carefully explain that they did in fact have a sleep in the day. “Well we might have one if we are sick, but we never sleep in the day.” She started shaking violently, as Dad tried to say that he just needed a sleep today, trying to stop the conversation of having an afternoon nap. When the truth is Mum sleeps most of the day, and they both always have an afternoon nap every day. But it was too late, she was livid, like, how dare Dad suggest such a thing about them. Saying such a negative thing about them, we should be put down if we need an afternoon nap. I said I often have an afternoon nap, if I feel I need one, I will go to bed. This didn’t help.

So trying to change the subject, I said come out and see me to my car. We walked to the car, but I could clearly see Mum was really angry, I gave her a kiss and hug, saying see you soon, like I always do. I got a, yes maybe you will, back from Mum. I ignored the comment, I’m used to them, hugging Dad, I got into the car and saw Mum’s face still fiercely angry and her body shaking.

I drove home, waving to them until they were out of sight.

This is a usual typical visit to see Mum now, you have to be so careful with what you say so this switch doesn’t change, as once it’s gone, it could take hours before she’s back again. But I also know she would be asleep within 10 minutes of me leaving. Even though I know what causes this change in her, I still get confused by it. When I told Master and E they both said, you know what it is, why are you questioning it. I think it’s still me not accepting it fully, it’s horrible seeing this switch to her personality, one minute she’s Mum, next second she’s acting like this wild woman or she just sits there, like the shell of mum is there but no one is inside.

 

Anyway, I just had to write this mainy for me, it helps me deal with it better. Sorry to blog about a sad part of my life. Dementia / alzheimer’s really sucks.