First major tantrum with Miss Adira.

My first drunken disobedient strop/tantrum with Miss Adira, whilst on our naturist holiday.

In the morning Master and Daddy went to Tesco to stock up on essentials, food, treats and most important booze. We had limited space in the car so could only bring food for one day. Miss Adira and I went for a walk through the fields and woods until we came across one of the ponds. There are lovely pathways all around their land for us naturists to enjoy. A couple of public footpaths were marked off, warning naturists that people may get offended by seeing naked people about so they were avoided. But having found one of the ponds we sat there and chatted. Mostly it was about how we’ve messed up on something so received a punishment or how Miss Adira may write things in a text message only to delete it, saying it’s not worth the risk. Whereas I would just press send coz I was peeved off. We were both very stubborn and pig headed neither of us willing to back down or not have the final say. So far Miss Adira and I had not been in this dilemma, she and Daddy had warned me that I did not want to get on her bad side when our dynamic began because I would not win. I think in my stupid naive head, I believed she wasn’t as bad as they made out. Daddy always said Miss Adira would have me crying within minutes, just by what she has said as she was very clever with her words, again the bratty stubborn side of me really didn’t believe she was that bad. My sensible head believed she was.

So back to our holiday.

Having been drinking wine since lunchtime, I was getting very merry. I’m a bit odd, in the way that if I had wine in a glass, I would drink very very slowly, not really enjoying it, probably only having a quarter of the glass before chucking it out. Now since I became Daddy’s ‘little’ and he puts wine in my sippy cup I drink very quickly and it tastes really nice. Told you I was a bit odd. Before holidays I bought Miss Adira and I some plastic cups with lids and straws as you can’t take proper glasses to the sunroom or hottub. These cups you can put in the freezer to keep your drinks colder for longer.  And I drank wine very quickly out of these cups.

On Wednesday after Master and Daddy had purchased more alcohol I had drunk rather a lot, feeling very merry, well a little bit……no I was pissed. I was enjoying the hottub then floating in the pool. Messing about in the hottub I splashed water over Miss Adira’s face. “I think someone may be getting a spanking for that”, she told me. So what do I do…..yep I do it again, not once but twice. Daddy had a look of sheer shock and horror as he knew she did not like water on her face. “I will meet you upstairs when you come back,” she told me. Being rather drunk I dismissed the comment. When she left Daddy asked me if I had a death wish because he would never, ever splash water on her face coz she would go mental. I didn’t really believe she would be that annoyed by it. Anyway we left the hottub and went to the pool, I was enjoying just floating in the water, holding one of those noodle float things under my head, my body just naturally floated, and for once, my back wasn’t hurting. So I just floated for a long time. Daddy wanted to go back so I told him I was staying in, so he left but he quickly returned because Master had told him, he should not have left his drunken ‘little’ in the pool by herself. Though I kept telling him to go, he said no, and sat in the chair watching me float.

When we eventually returned Miss Adira was there, looking stern, telling me to go to her bedroom. I just flatly said No, I want a shower first. After a few No’s I went to the shower. Miss Adira followed with the hairbrush in her hand. “That’s okay, I wanted to see how it was to spank you when you’re wet. Turn around.” she told me, standing in the doorway of the shower. “No,” I told her, deliberately facing her, over and over and over she told me to turn around, I kept stubbornly saying No. She whacked me a few times with the hairbrush, boobs and sides of my legs were perfect targets but still I refused to turn around.

Writing this now, the following morning, I’m shocked at how I reacted, I’d never do that to any of them if I was sober.

I kept saying, I need to wash my hair, I need to put conditioner on it, I need to wash the chlorine off my body, any excuse to stay in the shower, hoping she would just go. But as she told me many times, she would be there all night if necessary. So I washed myself all the time facing her.

Then the standoff began. Turn around, no. The shower was turned to cold, I turned it to hot again. The shower was turned off, I turned it back on again. I’ve no idea how long we were in there or how many times the shower was altered, but my stubbornness was getting worse and refused to leave. The final time, Miss Adira turned the shower off with a warning not to turn it on, the tone of her voice warned me not to.

After a while I just plonked myself on the floor in the corner, Miss Adira was really pissed off by now. Daddy had made dinner, telling us it was on the table, “Just leave it there,” she called to him then closed the bathroom door and sat in the shower.

Seriously stern lectures followed then, those awful words followed, ‘I’m disrespecting her,’ I told her I wasn’t but deep down I knew I was being very disrespectful. “You wouldn’t do this for Master or Daddy would you?” she asked. “Not anymore no,” I replied. Then eventually my emotions took over, those 3 words were always enough to make my stubbornness dissolve and tears start flowing.

Eventually Miss Adira persuaded me to get up, having had a long chat, I didn’t want to see the boys, I didn’t want to have my dinner, I just wanted to go to bed, but I wasn’t allowed, I had to have my dinner, then I could go to bed. But first we headed to the other loft and had snuggles in bed. I was still upset, and felt embarrassed seeing the boys so Miss Adira said we would have dinner in there, she brought the plates of food in, warmed them up in the microwave then we sat down. She made sure I’d taken my medication and also made sure I ate. If I started just playing with my food she told me off, until I’d eaten half of it.

Miss Adira wanted me to go upstairs and watch a film but I said I really didn’t want to. She knew it was because I felt embarrassed, ashamed, guilty and stupid, well I felt stupid, Miss Adira didn’t think that. Anyway she allowed me to go to bed, gave me my kindle and tucked me in. Giving me a kiss she left me to it, where I lay for a while before finally reading my book. I gave up after a few pages though, nothing would stay in my head and I was still feeling guilty about what happened.

I hadn’t realised but apparently I had fallen asleep, the others heard me snoring from upstairs in the annex.  But as usual I woke up so I read my kindle. Miss Adira popped her head through the door and found me awake, she gave me a hug, asking if I was okay, that’s when I found out I’d been asleep.

In the morning I went to see Miss Adira, we had a cuddle and I sat at the table for a while talking. We were all going to the pool but she said she was happy colouring inside so I went with the boys. Later on I sent her an apology text, saying I was drunk but not that drunk where I didn’t know what I was doing. She replied saying she appreciated the text message, the apology, the explanation but it was all forgotten with now, no further punishments were needed as she had got the desired result, (me crying feeling terribly guilty). She said we both knew there would be a time where this would happen because we were so alike and she knew from her experience that I would test her to this point to see what would happen.

So what have I learnt from this……..I will never win when I’m being disrespectful, stubborn or just flatly being really naughty……..I will never splash water in Miss Adiras face again……I never want to be in that position again, hear those words, see the disappointment in her face.

But as she had said before, it will happen again at some point because we are both so stubborn and pig headed and we would both test and push our Doms/Domme just out of pure devilment. But I hope I don’t test her again for quite some time.

One thing I know for certain is I never want to see the look of disappointment, upset, crossness, (is that a word, oh well it is now) on her face or hear her say I’m disrespecting her or wondering if I really did want this dynamic ever again. Those 2 things hurt me so much more than any severe spanking I’ve ever been given.

Slip up with mouth and eyes.

Slip up with mouth and eyes.

 

At lunchtime today, I was video chatting with Daddy when he said something, can’t even remember what it was but I came out with b****y hell, Daddy asked what I said and I rolled my eyes, exasperated that he heard me swear then saw me roll my eyes.

I got lectured on behaving and then when he told me to apologise, ( Something I do struggle with when I’ve just been told off, my pig headed stubbornness won’t let me apologise properly coz I was now in a mood ) I said, “Sorry the word just slipped out and my eyes just rolled.”

He was not happy with my response so I was told to get a 5 pence coin, and stand against the wall holding the coin with my nose. Miss Bratty came out, are you serious ? Really ? The words slipped out. You know the sorta thing you say. Suddenly Daddy asked if it was cold outside. I paused my rant, confused by his question. Blurted out, of course it’s cold outside. Ready to begin complaining again, when he told me to go outside to do it. NOW.  “What, do my time-out outside ? Can I wear a coat ?” I asked. “Nope go and do it now, and bring your phone so I can watch you do it.” Daddy told me. “Find a coin and go.”
I pulled my purse out of my bag, looking for 5p but didn’t have one. “I’ve 20p.” I told him. “That will do, now outside.” he said.
I was not happy, so not happy as I went to the side of the house, I propped my phone on the windowsill, put the coin on the wall, stuck my nose on it then just waited. I dropped it a few times but the worst was after 4 minutes. And I had to start over again. Frustrating the hell outta me, I started again, when Daddy started singing at the top of his voice. OH MY LORD gag me now before I say something I will regret. As he continued to sing, asking me silly questions, I blurted out for him to shut up. Biting my tongue afterwards, “Do you want to earn extra time ?” Daddy asked. I said no as calmly as I could. So I just closed my eyes and waited until time was up.

Finally Daddy told me it was time, I got the coin ready to go inside when he told me to look at him. Here we go, I thought, more lecturing.

“I love you, I just want the best for you. Now go inside, make yourself a coffee and warm up.” I looked at him, “Is that an order ?” I asked, yes I know brattily. “Yes in fact, make one for Master too.” I paused, taking a deep breath I grabbed his mug and mine then made the coffee. “Do I have to take it up to him ?” I asked, “Yes he can’t drink it without having it.” I carried the cup, whilst staying on the phone. Knocked on the door, asked if I could come in and handed him the cup, “How about a nice, here’s your coffee Master or something nice.” He asked, I pulled a face then he said, “Did you just roll your eyes at me ?” I protested, saying I did not roll my eyes, I pulled a face yes, but I did not roll my eyes. I said, “I’ve just been outside for 10 minutes.” “What, why?”

he asked, “I swore and rolled my eyes at Daddy,” I told him.

“Well in that case you can go outside again, take the phone with you so Daddy can time you.” Seeing no point in arguing, I just went downstairs and walked outside. “Take your coffee,” Daddy told me, so I went back for it, putting my phone on a different windowsill I talked to Daddy outside, drinking my coffee.

Luckily it made the 10 minutes go quicker as we talked about Christmas presents, and the next time we meet up, what did we want to do.

Whilst I was doing my second timeout outside, I realised I hadn’t sent pictures of my lines and maths today, and I discovered this morning I hadn’t taken them yesterday. Oh fudge, I was gonna be in trouble for that now. So as soon as I went in, I took yesterday’s lines and maths and today’s. Telling them that I forgot to send them.

Daddy video called again, asking if I forgot on purpose or did I really forget. I said I really forgot. “Okay well I’m going to have a think and maybe discuss this with Master what your punishment should be. You’ve had such a rough week.”

When I looked at my phone again I had a message from Master. Write your lines in reverse order.

I was a bit confused with what he meant, but basically instead of starting from the left of the page, I will start on the right.

A bit later I got a message from Daddy, after discussing it with Master you will do an extra 50 lines, so double, written backwards.

I think I’ve got it, I will have to do these when I’m very awake I think.

 

Wednesday with Daddy.

I met Daddy at the local park and ride, he left his motorbike there so I had to pick him up.

Master is worried about keeping this part of our life discreet, so didn’t want Daddy round at ours without him being there, as it would look suspicious, especially if it was frequently. Plus we couldn’t play or anything incase E came home, the in-laws or my folks just popped round, and they have done this without prior knowledge. They’ve all got keys so it could happen. Master said “You’re dynamic is different to mine with J or R, yours is more snuggily, holding hands, kissing. You need to think as if you are having an affair.”
I said, “I’ve never really thought about what I would do if I had an affair.”
He said, “ So going further away from where we live, not having the motorbike parked outside often, you know how much the neighbours would talk, not going around where Daddy lives as it’s close to where I work and my staff could live near.”

It is a pain coz it means we can’t go home and play, snuggle, mark my maths, just the 2 of us but we can still enjoy our days together, it just means we need to think carefully about what and where we go.

Today we are more local as we were both going to visit my favourite piercer A, we were both going to feel the stab of the needle.

 

So once I picked Daddy up, we drove to a lovely village just outside our town. We parked and walked through the main street, it was too early for any of the shops to be open but we thought the cafes would be open for breakfast but they weren’t. We could have just stayed and waited but we decided to go to the local park, it brought back memories of taking E here when he was little, how many times had I come here with him. Must have been hundreds.

We walked through the aviary, Daddy started talking to the parrots, they seem to be having some sort of a good conversation, lol. There were 2 beautiful purple and red parrots, I think they were Emperors. There was a chart which told you all about them, but I may have forgotten the name.

Passing the aviary we saw the cafe was open, so we bought a coffee, Daddy always has an Americano with cold milk in a jug, I always have a skinny latte with 1 shot of coffee, by now Daddy knew how many sweeteners I have and he put them in for me, then we sat outside and chatted. This is what I love about our dynamic, that we can sit and chat, just like a normal relationship, whether it’s boyfriend / girlfriend, Master / slave or Daddy / little.

It was whilst we sat outside, when we got onto the conversation about my mouth soaping video I had sent him. And how J had spotted I was only holding the soap with my teeth, I wasn’t sucking it, like instructed. Well I just burst out laughing as he said he watched the video, calling me a real bloody brat, and how much he was going to have to watch me carefully. I said, I did tell you I was a brat and will try not to do anything I don’t want to do.

Daddy said, “ I can see I need to be specific with what I expect you to do.” He did laugh about it after he watched it at home but I laughed so much as he told me. We chatted about all sorts of stuff, eventually we went for a walk around the lake, holding hands, kissing as we walked, it was lovely. Daddy said he’s really happy, and classed it like he now had 2 wives. I thought it sounded lovely, as Master said that our relationship was almost polyamorous. I didn’t think it could be as we’re are not living together but Master said you don’t have to be living together for it to be a poly dynamic.

I actually don’t care what the supposed title is for our dynamic, I’m just very, very happy, I’ve got my sadistic Master to humiliate, degrade, thrash me and my Daddy to care for me, nurture me, and love me, both my Dom’s make me feel safe, secure and if anything, more confident in myself. Master has spent many years trying to get me to feel confident, to like myself, love myself, and finally he’s made me find my kinky side. Now there’s no stopping me. Enjoying playing with others, realising others find me attractive. But filling the fantasy of having another Dom, a Daddy has filled that missing link in my head. Discovering that bit of me was a “ little “ I hadn’t realised before, Daddy’s a patient teacher, not making me feel stupid when I can’t do my maths right. He explains how to do it so I am actually not scared of numbers now. I may not remember everything but I’ve got lots of maths books now so I’m sure I will start to feel a little more confident. Daddy said he was going to get a gold pen and a sticker book for when he marks my work. I love that he wants copies of everything I do for him, lines, sketches, my little story, the poem, I copy the lot and put them in individual plastic sleeves. Daddy then puts them in his special place at home.

I think I’ve realised the reason behind why there was that “ little “ in me, as a child I never had that one on one care from my parents, yes they loved me but mum worked when I was not at school, so I never saw her really except when she had a 10 minute break for dinner. I would be asleep by the time she finished work. Dad was always busy doing jobs around the house when he wasn’t working, I used to crave to hear words like, I love you or I’m very proud of you, instead of, I knew you wouldn’t pass, you don’t try and do anything right. I just wanted them to show me I wasn’t useless and I wasn’t ugly. As a parent now, I make sure I tell E how proud I am of him and that I love him, all the time. I never want him to feel like I did as a child.

So we enjoyed a lovely walk, then headed back to the car. It was 10.50am and we wanted to be at A’s shop for when he opened at 11am. But when we got there, the shop was still shut, so we stayed in the car, until I saw him drive past. A opened up so we headed over to the shop.

So what are we getting done ? Daddy is getting a PA and I’m getting some more rings put in my labia and inners……………no I’m not really, you know I’m not allowed anymore there. Daddy wanted to design a tattoo for me but Master said it was too soon for that but he said he knew I wanted more piercings in my ear, so allowed Daddy to pay for a scaffold bar piercing as a token that I am Daddy’s little girl. I had already been to see A to order that and the PA for Daddy.

I knew Daddy was nervous, but when he started to ask A what would happen and how it would feel, you could see Daddy getting more worried. I kept telling him to just wait, let A get sorted then he will do it. “Do you see the size of the rings, they’re huge !” He stated. “That’s gonna be too big.”

A came in from the back room, “What’s up ?” he asked. I quickly explained, “ He’s worried that the rings are too big both in diameter and gauge. “ A went on to explain the rings look big as they have to allow for when your erect. The gauge starts from 2.4mm, 3.2mm then 4mm, anything thicker from that it’s best to be tapered. Right come on let’s get in the back.”

We all headed in the back room, A closed the door, telling Daddy to get on the bed. Daddy said, “Do you want everything right off or just pulled down ?” “Pulled down is fine.” he replied. Daddy pulled everything down and lay on the chair, I got my phone out ready to video it, checking with A first, as with Master he wasn’t bothered. A doesn’t know of mine and Daddy’s dynamic, I told A that Daddy was a friend, even though A knows about Master and I, we felt it was better to just say he was a friend.

A started off by marking off where the ring would go, even though I’ve watched Master’s video many times, I’m still fascinated by how its done. When A pushed a tube down his urethra, you could see it much better as Daddy is circumcised, so you could clearly see the end of the tube through the skin, and it was quite a thinnish bit of skin.  A put the needle through the tube then said to Daddy, “Right when you are ready, deep breath in.” I held Daddy’s hand and within a second the hole was pierced. No scream, no noise, no nothing but a biggish flinch, such a disappointment, just like Master. The tube came out then A fitted the ring to it. “This will feel a bit uncomfortable but that’s about it.” Quickly the ring went through. “So that’s it.” A told him. “ What it’s done already ?” Daddy asked. “Yep, all completed. “ A replied.

A went through the care of it, then Daddy got up and pulled his pants up. I must admit, it looks pretty impressive, I do really like PA’s now.

Then it was my turn to sit on the chair, as A got organised, Daddy got ready to video it. I asked if A needed me to take my ear and glasses off, but he said no, I will fit the bar around them. A dabbed 2 spots on my ear, got the needle ready, “Deep breath in,” the stab felt a lot more tough as it’s cartlidge, “Another deep breath in.“ A said, then another tough stab. Both making me flinch, BUT I did not say one swear word, which I thought was very impressive for me, I think mainly because Daddy was with me. I was concentrating so much on not swearing, it worked. I was pretty pleased with myself. So at the moment I’ve a long purple bar with sparkly balls at the ends, in 2 weeks I go back and get the proper size put in. 5 days later and my ear is still very tender, swollen and bruised but its not throbbing today. I will try to put my ear in today, see if it doesn’t hurt too much, I think Master is fed up with me not hearing him all the time.

So we were both all done, Daddy’s ordered the next size PA but he wanted it in dark blue. He wants a ladder going up his balls, so he’s ordered 4 dark blue bars so in 6 weeks, he will come back, move up in size for his PA then get all 4 bars put in. We were both very happy with our new piercings.

We went from there to our favourite pub for dinner, where we went last time. The meal was lovely as usual, but we chose not to have a dessert because we wanted sweets at the cinema.

Again, it just felt really natural with Daddy, the conversation flowed easily.

I made sure I paid for dinner this time, as we should have gone halfs the week before but Daddy paid for it before I got chance to say anything.

Then we got back in the car and headed to the cinema. We were going to watch Mev. But as we arrived, there were lots of workman around, inside the cinema foyer, a huge area was boxed off, I was actually wondering if it was actually open. I walked over to the staff and asked. The lady said the cinema was getting a makeover, new bigger seats with tables attached and bigger, better screens. I asked if some cinemas were open, she said half are open, but a workman broke one of the screens so Mev is not on today. WHAT, No Mev. Daddy spotted that Equalizer 2 was on, we had only watched the first one when we stayed over last week. So we decided to go for that one. Daddy said “Let’s get you some sweeties first, babygirl.”  We headed to the pick and mix, I love these, but there were no cables. In fact there were only pink and white chocolate mice to choose, for the sweets that I liked. Daddy didn’t want anything, he said he would pinch some of mine. We then went to get the tickets, pay for the sweets and get to our seats. We got a back row just to ourselves, I kicked off my shoes ready to get comfy, one shoe went flying. As I bent down to get it, Daddy put his hand on my bum, across my pussy, his hand reaching under my skirt. I swear I was so close to cumming there and then. Just that touch was enough to get my juices going, I had to sit down quickly before it became too much. Sitting down, I snuggled into Daddy, I was comfy resting my head on his shoulder, one arm hooked under his arm, my other arm was over his chest, part of me wanted him to put his hand between my legs but oh that would have been fanfuckintastic, ( sorry Daddy ) but I couldn’t, so I enjoyed snuggling with him, enjoying the movie.

We both enjoyed the film, and headed back to the car, it was peak time when we were driving home, the traffic was crazy, how Master and Daddy copes driving through this every day, I don’t know. Once we got past the junction for the other drivers to get to the motorway, the drive was okay. I drove Daddy back to the park and ride, he said his PA was okay but I hoped it didn’t hurt whilst he was on the motorike. Enjoying a long kiss goodbye, Daddy said he would message once he was home, safe and sound. It had been a lovely day, Now we have that special bond with the bar in my ear, I know J will be getting a tattoo from Master for their 6 month anniversary, but she also needs a treat so she’s not left out, Daddy and I got pierced, I think J will be getting multiple stabs whilst she gets a small tattoo, connecting her with Master. Master had told her it was her choice, a special treat from him to her, so I can’t wait to see it. These special things bind us together now, to become one, and I just love them.

Blogging A- Z Challenge – N

Blogging A – Z Challenge = N

N = Naked and Naughty.

The idea of being naked was always a hard one, Yes I went from bedroom to bathroom naked when having a bath, never hiding myself when G or E were around. But oh no, the idea of others seeing me naked, no way, who wants to me naked. Entering into our D / s lifestyle, one rule Master insisted I did was take a naked selfie and post it on SpankingTube, he wanted me to learn to like, even love my body, like my curves, and even like my big ass. At first I hated doing it, but eventually I began to enjoy it and soon, I began to believe maybe I’m not that ugly, fat, small woman. I even began to sunbathe topless in our back garden. Then last year we had our first naturist holiday, I remember taking that first step outside of our lodge, it was terribly nerve-wracking, but I took that step without hesitation. And suddenly I felt free in my body, I no longer wanted to hide myself in the corner, this is the body I was given, so only I can accept it, love it and improve it, if that’s possible. No one else can do it for me. Even showing the ugly scar I have down my tummy, was hard to accept but my mother-in-law would say, every scar is part of your life so don’t be ashamed of them. And at the end of the day, the major operation I had changed my life, so in truth, maybe I should thank it, does that sound crazy ?

 

Being naked for Master did cause some stress for me whilst he trained me, I would sometimes have to sit in front of a mirror and really look at myself, placing a mirror between my legs I saw for the first time, what my pussy looked like. I’d never done that before. I hated bending over, ass out high, head low, revealing my most intimate areas but Master was very firm with this, if he wanted me like this for one minute or 30, I would do it and cringe inside. I really didn’t understand how he could find me / my body sexy. So the selfies continued as I tried different ways to make my body look good. Even taking my naked body outside in the garden and taking selfie after selfie. I started to look at the pictures differently, I saw a little sexiness, and I began to like them.

It was important for Master to feel my naked body in bed, knowing my body belonged to him, if hands wandered he didn’t want to fight with nightwear before connecting with skin. But feeling skin on skin is so important, whether in bed asleep as legs entwine with his, or during play, I should not be ashamed of my body. And I’m not now, but I am certainly a Naturist at heart, and can’t wait until we go again, then maybe book somewhere else, abroad maybe.

I’ve realised since doing this challenge that I have changed an awful lot since we began our D / s life, and all good changes, making me a better, more confident woman. I honestly hadn’t seen it until now.

 

Naughty.

 

I may be an owned slave to Master but I can very honestly say that I am not one of those slaves who are 100 % obedient, following the rules perfectly, I wasn’t a natural submissive so I’ve had to learn but there’s a tiny part of me that still wants to be me. But Master has trained me well, punishing me for my wrong doings, so every day rules, I normally follow properly. But you know, things like, I want more makeup, I ask Master if I’m allowed, if he says no, then that’s it. But a teeny part of me wants to say, you want me wearing makeup everyday, then let me buy it when I need it. Of course I don’t ( usually ) then buy any, but just like a child will try to get away with things, that’s me. I do like to call it mild rule breaking, only coz it sounds slightly better, maybe that’s my bratty side that feels that. But I’d never go to the shop and spend without asking. I know Master has only made it a rule because I have no sense of saving or generally watching the money in the bank, I just tended to spend, he’s tried for years to get me to stop. So I am very grateful that he controls this side of life, even if I moan, and I know I should follow this and all the rules fully. These days, it is usually only spending that gets me in trouble, that is usually including arguing because I want to buy something, like buying kindle books from Amazon. I have now stopped asking because I know the answer is no, but buying clothes from the catalogue, has been like buying Kindle books, because money it not actually changing hands, in my head I’m not spending or breaking the rules. But I’ve been told I can’t order anything without asking first. I do an order then ask my mother-in-law which she likes, usually keeping the ones I want, without asking Master’s opinion or if I could keep them. But I need clothes, right ? On my last order last week, I said to Master I wanted him to look at the clothes and help me choose. I did that because I realised something. I always want to look my best for Master, so letting him choose my clothes is another way of ensuring I will. He sometimes doesn’t like the clothes I pick out with my mother-in-law, she has a different taste to Master but who do I want to please, Master or my mother-in-law. Of course the answer is Master without a doubt. Out of the 12 dresses I ordered, I kept 5. But the next day when I was alone I realised that I should ask Master if I could keep these dresses, so when he was at work I asked him if I should have asked to keep them, he replied, yes. So even though I really really wanted all the dresses, I asked him if I could keep them, hoping he would say yes but ready to accept it, if his answer was no, anyway he replied, yes thank you for asking. This made me feel so so happy, not because I could keep the dresses but because I had pleased him by realising I should have asked first.

I think for me, I am learning slowly to be the submissive Master can be proud to own, though I hope he is proud of me now and soon I think I will be the best submissive I want to be. I can’t promise I won’t still want to buy makeup or clothes and throw a tantrum because Master has said no, but that’s part of my personality, and also Master then has the excuse of turning my fine curvaceous bottom crimson and bruised. 🙂