What happened in 2018.

It’s the end of 2018, the beginning of a 2019, what does the future hold for us……

Starting 2018, I never imagined by the end of the year we would now be in a polygamous dynamic.

I never thought we would try swinging, though I’ve now learnt that swinging is certainly not for me.

We’ve done things I never believed we/I could do.

It started with meeting a couple socially, what an awful experience that was. I couldn’t wait to leave and felt adamant that if this was what swinging was about then no way was I going to try again.

We joined a munch instead, met other like minded people. But it was very cliquey, we both felt uncomfortable so decided munches were not for us.

So how do you meet other couples that wanted what we wanted.

I thought is was impossible.

We focused on chatting with others, on the Fab swingers site, taking it slowly, it turned out to be all talk, no action.

Our first experience was with a couple at their home, it felt wrong, clinical, like they had a set routine which they followed step by step, I never wanted to try it again.

Soon we had our first experience at home, with a trans girl. I did enjoy it, felt more relaxed playing at home in a threesome, but like the first couple, she talked non stop about other people she had played with, and it felt like we were just another notch on the bedpost.

I was certain that’s all swingers seemed to want to do, where was the connection, the relationship. It was fuck and go.

This was something I just couldn’t do. I needed a connection, I can’t just fuck and leave.

So we decided to try to find a couple who we could see regularly. Finding kinky couples who also liked BDSM was hard work.

Our second couple seemed more possible, we enjoyed talking, eventually meeting, though they were not into our kinky stuff.

They took us to a swingers club. It felt awkward, the place was seedy, I didn’t want to do anything, or look around. People fucking everywhere, girls wanking the guys. This wasn’t for me, but Master enjoyed it. Why wouldn’t he, the girl loved his PA and I could tell she couldn’t wait to play with it. They went off to the orgy room for a play. I stayed with the guy, he just chatted with me, I think he just didn’t want to leave me on my own. We tried out the hot tub, but that felt awkward. I felt my legs touching another guys leg, so I quickly moved it away. Was it me, was there something wrong with me ? The guy I was sat next to tried to talk to me but I didn’t really chat back. Looking back now I would say I was quite rude. It just felt uncomfortable.

We met the second couple again, but at home this time, we had a good time, a good play and they both enjoyed spanking me. Though they didn’t understand why I liked it, but at least they did it.

Over the next few weeks we began talking to the couple we saw at the swingers club, the guy who I sat next to, in the hot tub. They searched for us in the swingers site, turned out they were looking for the same as us. So we began to chat more seriously.

During this time we found another couple, who was in a D/s relationship. This was it, I thought. Finally meeting THE couple. We met and enjoyed a great play, it was my first experience with a girl, she was fantastic and said she would be patient with me, until I wanted to play with her. We chatted some more, but soon they stopped talking.

Meanwhile we were still talking to the couple from the club, this time more seriously. She wanted a serious Dom, he wanted to be a Dom but wasn’t sure he could. Over time, he and I chatted and I suggested he look up the Daddy/little dynamic. Something I really wanted, but thought it was a fantasy. Reading about it, him and his wife thought it would suit him best, so our Daddy/little dynamic began. I gained a sister, we gained a couple to play with, Master found himself with 2 new subs and we all loved it.

We stopped chatting with the other couples, I didn’t want to meet them again because we had found the couple we had a connection with, began forming a relationship with them.

Who knew this could happen, dreams could come true. This one came true without us even looking for it. To me, it was meant to be.

Six months later our dynamic is going strong, our relationship becoming stronger, Master asked PiggyJ to have a tattoo, a marking to say she belonged to him. I drew a sketch of a sexy curvy woman, Daddy said it looked like me, I asked if he would get it tattooed on him, he said yes immediately. He would be proud to have it tattooed on his leg. Daddy asked Master if he could give me something, like a collar, so Master suggested an ankle bracelet. This I’ve now got, one of his many Christmas presents. Daddy bought one bracelet but felt it was too small as he wanted to put charms on it. So he bought another, which was perfect. Now I’m wearing 2 ankle bracelets, feeling them makes me really believe I belong to Master and I belong to Daddy. I’m now owned by 2 men. What could be better.

Who would have thought 2018 would end like this, this perfect life, I know it is the first of many Christmases and New Years we will share together. We are going on holiday to the naturist park in May and are planning a holiday to America to drive down Route 66. Something we all really wanted to do, so decided why not do it together.

I never thought dreams could come true for me but this proves sometimes they do, when you least expect it. So for those who are waiting for their dream to come true, don’t give up hope. You never know what’s coming around the corner, if it could happen to us, it could happen to anyone.

Happy New Year, let’s hope 2019 can be a great one, full of surprises, good health and happiness.

Off to the swingers club.

We are dressed and ready, naughty bags packs, booze packed, every where smooth and moisturised.

My tummy has butterflies, I’m starting to feel nervous, Master seems okay. We are meeting our friends at their house, Master thought it gets rid of the nervous, awkward Hi’s outside the club. We will then drive in tandem to the club, we’ve filled the membership forms in so we just need to shpw ID, then get our membership card.

Then who knows what will happen, I will tell you all about it tomorrow. Shit I’m nervous now, how has our life changed, I wonder if E.L.James realised some people who read her books, then read the truth about BDSM, formed their own amazing D/s lifestyle, progressed further into this dynamic and started attending Swingers clubs and parties.

Two sleeps until the Swingers night.

It’s 2 sleeps until we go to the swingers club, and I’m surprising myself that I am not nervous, YET. I feel a tiny bit excited.  OMG I never thought I would. I’ve no idea how the night will pan out, but I feel like I am looking forward to it.

We’ve talked every day with the couple we are going with and feel like we are going to become good friends.

We’ve discussed what to wear, should we just go naked, or wear underwear?

I said just go naked, that way you don’t have to strip off before going in the pool or hottub. The couple said they would be going in underwear, then when they’ve been there a little while, they will strip off and put their clothes in the locker.

Basically, when you arrive you are given a locker, you take your own booze but hand that over to the bar, they put your locker number on it, so the bar staff know that belongs to you. Then you just pay for the soft drinks.

They provide you with towels so you don’t need to take them.

Yesterday, though Master was in London, I gave him and the couple a fashion show to decide which lingerie outfit they liked and which one I felt comfy in. We all decided on a little red number, so I feel happy to know what I am wearing.

Later on yesterday, the couple said they have a naughty bag that goes in the locker. Master said,hang on a minute, what naughty bag ? He said I have a laptop bag and she uses a makeup bag. They stay in the locker then when you want to go upstairs to the playrooms, you just get your bag from the locker.

We said, what’s in it, what do we need ?

Basically, here’s the list of what they take.

Shower Gel, toothpaste / brush, mints, mouthwash, condoms, lube, hairbrush, hair slides and bobbles, deodorant, dildos sometimes, baby wipes, makeup.

So this morning I went shopping, I bought a small black handbag, which was actually too small when I got it home, so I’m using a makeup bag, I already use it for makeup, but it will do for now. It certainly won’t fit a dildo though.

When we go to buy some Sliders, we will look for a bag suitable for Master, I will look and see if they have a suitable bag for me. We need Sliders for holiday so they will get used, Master may feel he doesn’t want to wear them there, but I must be careful, especially around the pool area. I don’t want to slip and fall. The only concern is she has had lingerie stolen if she’s taken them off and left it by the side of the pool, which is why they lock them away now. But I will have to use my walking stick, I think, unless there are plenty of chairs or walls I can hold onto. So the Sliders could be put under my stick, I just don’t know whether I should take my stick or not. At home, I don’t use it in the house as there are plenty of things I can grab onto if I feel like I’m going to fall or I’m dizzy, but shopping, theatre trips, outings or dog walks, I do have to use it.

I think I will know how I feel after the first visit, so I know for next time. If there is a next time.

Swinging continuation.

So since my last post about starting swinging again, or starting it properly this time, we started talking to 2 couples. The first couple had real conversations, long messages flying both ways, we’ve talked to both the man and woman, they had recently started going to a swingers club, The Infusion, in Blackpool, and told us a lot about it. They were introduced to it by some friends. Checking it out online, it looks really good, a swimming pool, sauna, hot tub / jacuzzi, playrooms, an orgy room !!!!!! Mmmmm may watch what happens in there but I will not be taking part in it, there’s a dungeon, which is good as some swingers clubs don’t have one.

The first couple, J, are soft swing, they enjoy mild spanking, she doesn’t take pain well so he only hand spanks but when I asked if he would be happy to spank me hard, he jumped at the chance lol. On their first visit they were just going to watch, but that didn’t last long before they got to play, she was entranced by the orgy room, one girl with 8 men, I think they said they would do anything bar intercourse. But we seemed to have lots in common, like I say, the conversation has just gone smoothly. Then yesterday they invited us to join them when they next go to the club, Sat 30th, I checked with Master and he agreed, so I replied saying we would love to go.

What I like about this club is it’s open from 11am until 3am almost every day. And as you know, I am not a night owl as I’m usually getting up by the time the club closes. Master said I needed to ensure that I sleep in the day before we go.

But J went during the day on Sunday to see what it was like and they enjoyed it too.  So I think the daytime would be best but one Saturday a month or fortnightly, I hope I can cope with that. I become such a bad tempered, knarky, brat when I’m tired, Master would have to be patient with me.

The second couple, M, started chatting a few days later, well Master found them. They are a D/s couple who go full swing but also happy with soft swing. They seem very nice, I think I’ve talked only to him, but I need to read their profile because maybe she’s not allowed to chat, The profile doesn’t say she’s not allowed so I will ask if she can come on to chat too. She has a cracking bum, curviliscious. Though they are a D/s couple they are happy to play vanilla, kinky or D/s fun. They play at home or at the other couples house, haven’t been to any clubs. So for me, this is like part of my fantasy come true, being with another D/s couple, maybe seeing if it grew into more in the future, but one step at a time. So far we are still chatting, but no date has been made yet.

So this led Master and I to the conversations on what our limits are.

And the biggest shock I had…………..Master wants to go full swing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was new, last time he was adamant that we were just going soft swing.

But he said only if I was happy with it, and he was not pushing me to go full swing. He told me this the other day so I’ve had a few days to process it, I wasn’t sure at first. My trouble is I associate sex with love, if your in love with someone you will happily have sex. I struggle with the idea that sex is just fun. Master thinks it’s because men see sex differently, they or he doesn’t have the emotional aspect to it. It’s just sex.

He wanted me to feel 100% happy with this. It’s taken a lot to process, understanding his opinion. When I’ve read blogs about couples who swing, I’ve always been turned on by it, but reading it is different to seeing it.

How will I feel to see him fucking another girl ?

I don’t know, is my only answer, until I’m in that moment, I just don’t know.

Master said okay, well if after the first visit, you decide you don’t like it, you must tell me and I won’t do it.

I have a big problem being verbal during sex, you know like asking Master to go harder, faster, slow down etc. So I worried that if I was in that moment and it was becoming too much, if I said stop would they stop. Like if we went to the dungeon, what our version of a hard spanking might be soft to them. If I’m strapped to the bench or Andrews Cross, and it was becoming too much and I said stop, Would they ?

Master said it was like we would be having a scene, so tell him that you want to be spanked with finger fun, you want to squirt, so he now knows what you want.

You tell him what toys you want used, where you want to be hit, how hard, tell him your safe words, orange to pause, red to stop.
I asked if Master would be with me all the time, as we had first agreed that we would only do same room swap. He said Yes if I wanted him to be there he would. But I said Does that mean you are happy to just wander alone, he said Yes but only if I was happy with it.

I think until our first visit, I will want to stay with him. But as we are going with this couple, and their friends, maybe it will be better, if I’m chatting with them, and he asks if I minded if he had a wander, then I’d probably say go.

He said he would tell me all he had seen or done. Do I want to know ? Again I’m not sure.

There’s a lot of question marks in this aren’t there !

Then he said I needed to think what I would or wouldn’t do. So I said straight away I don’t want to go down on a woman, I know he really wants me to, but I need to do what I want, so I said this, then said well maybe not never, maybe I will but not yet. I don’t know if I could ever go down on a girl, I will play, fingers, kissing, touching, but I can’t see I will ever feel I can do that.

I  don’t know.

Okay, Master said so what else ?

I said, I’m not sure I could have sex. You know penetrative sex.

He said, Okay so you look across the room and see a guy that is tall, got a six pack, really fit, you like the look of him, would you go over and ask if he wants to have some fun ?

No, I said, I can’t see myself ever doing that.

If he came to you, sat next to you, asked if he could touch you, kiss you, then asked if he could take you to a playroom, would you then ? Master asked.

Would you come ? I asked

If you wanted me to yes, but I think you would have more fun if I wasn’t around. He told me.

I’ve just thought about something….if I was alone in a playroom with a guy, then Master could watch through the peep holes.

Would that make me feel more comfortable ? I don’t know.

So what am I happy doing, I need to make a list.

Guys.

Touching,  Stroking. Finger fun.  Kissing. Squirting. Guy going down on me. Blowjobs.  Dildo fun. Spanking.

Anal sex ?   Vaginal sex ?

Girls.

Touching.  Stroking. Finger fun.  Kissing. Squirting. Girl going down on me as long as they didn’t mind if I didn’t return the favour.  Dildo fun. Spanking.

What am I not happy with.

Guys.

Fisting.  Use of whips.  No hard-core spanking.  No needle or knife play. Swallowing cum. Piss play.
Girls.   

Going down on a girl. Fisting.  Use of whips. No hard-core spanking.  No needle or knife play. Piss play.

One thing couple J has said, is there is the most utmost respect for each other. No one would touch you without your permission, there is a definite respect for what each other wants, if they want to go past that barrier, they will ask first.

Master asked if I wanted him to order me to do things, again I said I don’t know.

D/s is the main part of our life, so should it mean that if he wants me to do…Whatever…..he will just order me to do it. I’m not sure I’d feel happy being pushed into doing something I really don’t want to do. Master said, How about you are free to do what you want, I’m not sure I’m happy with you having sex but that’s hypocritical, if I’m doing it, you should be able to do it. What if, if you want to have sex with someone, you ask me first. If I say yes, fine, if I say no, you don’t.

Okay, I think that could work, I think. I said.

Now the other thing I’m not sure on is condoms. Now do you have to use them ? How do you know if someone is clean or not ? I’ve never done a blowjob with a condom on, my imagination tells me it can’t be much fun on my behalf, you can’t nibble the head or shaft, suck the foreskin can you ? I don’t know. And taste, you can’t really taste them. I know I don’t want to swallow someone else’s cum, but I’m still happy to get to pre-cum stage, then they can fire their load over me. But I’ve no experience with a condom, so I don’t know what to expect.

J just told us to bring condoms with us as they charge £1 each in the club.

Oh lordy so many things going around in my head and I think I’m thinking the worst of everything now. I’m excited but terribly nervous. I think I want Master to stay with me for the first time, I just hope we get on with the couple and their friends to help us enjoy the night.

Oh yes, what do we wear, start of in lingerie, then when you go in the pool you take it off[, lock it up in the locker and wear a towel. But you’re wet then, so you’re not gonna want to put your lingerie back on. I think we are just better off going naked with the towel, we are both comfortable being naked. Then footwear, J said the floor can be slippy especially by the pool, certainly one thing I don’t want to happen is I slip and fall, so I’m going to get us both a pair of sliders ( flip flops ) ready to take, they will also do for the holiday.

 

Think I’ve got down all my feelings over this, even with a lot of don’t knows.