So April’s blog, what’s been going on.

Whilst the world is still in chaos, fighting this evil virus, us, the people are still trying to live as normally as possible. I will start by saying I hope you are all staying safe, keeping a safe distance from others, and following the guidelines set by the government from your country.

As for little old me, life has been pretty normal, other than Master working from home every day, not just Friday and our son being furlowed so he’s either asleep or stuck on his Xbox, coming down for food and drink.

As most businesses are closed, that also meant our dog groomer was unable to come and our Muffin Moo Moo, a Cavachon, her fur is more like a King Charles Cavalier’s fur and gets terribly matted whereas her brother Dave has fur more like a Bichon Frise, he looks like he has a perm. Never knotty. Anyway we’ve ended up buying a dog grooming kit, I’m gonna watch some YouTube videos helping me learn how to do it. In the meantime I’ve had to bath them twice so far and poor Muffi has had tight areas of matted fur. I’ve had to cut away, try to comb it away. Her skin looked sore but the vets are only taking emergency appointments, otherwise, I would have to take a photo of the sore area, then the vet would phone if I needed medication for her, I would then go to the vets, knock on the door where a bag of medication would be handed out through the door. Payment by card only. So I decided I just had to remove the matted areas as best as I could do. This took over 3 days as I didn’t want her sore everywhere. I’ve no idea if I’m going to be able to use these clippers but I’ve gotta try it.

One thing that has been awful, is my back. Without a dryer, I’m drying the laundry on an airer or the radiators, without a dishwasher, I’m having to wash the pots by hand. Now before anyone says well they are pretty standard chores, yes they are. Unless you have 6 degenerative discs, nerve damage, and a load of other medical issues. Doing just these chores are bad enough.

Now include doing the cleaning, brushing and mopping the floor, I’m refusing to hoover the stairs, one of the boys will have to do that. It’s reminded me why I now have a cleaner. Bathing the dogs was a killer so I had to get E to help as Master was working.

The boys are helping me, which I really appreciate, but I still find I try to do it all myself, especially as Master is still working and E doesn’t get up til around noon. I’d have the jobs done before then.

Then there’s the food shopping, I usually would do this by delivery, but it seems impossible to get one. I’m also doing shopping for the old folk, my parents and inlaws. My Mum has been classed as high risk so Dad is able to get an immediate shop delivered but sometimes he will need a few items, my inlaws somehow manage to get a delivery slot for a supermarket but I know they go online, frequently throughout the days to check the deliveries for any of our supermarkets. They have been lucky enough to actually get one. But they often need a few bits if I’m going. I must admit I couldn’t be bothered scouring the delivery slots until I got one.

One thing I’ve had to do this month is to use my disability for my own advantage, something I don’t like doing. But whenever I go to the shop, the queue is really long, and I knew I couldn’t stand in the queue for half an hour before getting to the shop. So as usual,  taking my walking stick with me as all the trolleys are kept inside the shop to keep them clean, I’ve asked if I can go straight in as I won’t be able to stand in the queue then go shopping.

Luckily I know most of the staff in Tesco, and they have seen me when I’ve seized up, unable to walk. They’ve seen me use the Motability scooter shoppers so they know I’m not lying just to get to the front of the queue.

Like I said I would never use my disability in this way normally. And I hate asking for help.

E has helped with the shopping, he will do ours, as it’s a bigger shop whilst I do the old folks shop. But pushing the trolley around is extremely painful at the moment, having lots of twinges, making my left leg feel numb and throbbing.

But all that is insignificant compared to what is happening in the world.

One thing I know for certain is I’m missing our extended family, Daddy, Miss Adira, their son C and all the crazy pets. Not seeing them since early February has been really difficult. It was Daddy’s Birthday yesterday, the gifts he wanted from me were from Amazon but the delivery was late so I didn’t get them until Friday, So I packed up mine and Master’s presents then Master arranged a collection for the big box to be posted, so at least Daddy will get his presents within the week.

Though I wasn’t happy with Daddy this month as he began talking about getting a motorbike again. He’d seen one he really liked, the price was good and he trusted the dealer who was selling it and next thing I know he’d organized a deal and was picking it up 2 days later. As you may tell I’m not a fan of motorbikes, think they are dangerous, too fast and just don’t really like them, plus I can’t ride with him but I know Daddy has really missed riding a bike. I felt guilty telling him I didn’t want him to get one but at the end of the day, he’s a grown-up, he doesn’t drive fast and he says he is a very careful driver. The main reason I really didn’t want him to get one is he has arthritis in both hands and wrists and when he had the old bike, he really struggled so I’m worried this may happen again. He says the positioning is different from the other bike so his wrists aren’t bent like they were so I guess I just have to trust him and hope it doesn’t happen again. 

So all this in the last month, no doubt the following months will be very similar. This year has to be the one year we should forget but know full well we will never forget it. My Mum says “It’s a bit like me telling you about what it was like at the end of WW2, the ration books, helping each other, rebuilding their lives, by the time you have older grandchildren, you will tell be telling them about the virus that affected the entire world.”  This is very true and more poignant for Mum saying this as for once she’s remembered what is going on with this virus, as her dementia is getting worse. So hearing her say that really brought it home for me. 

The end of 2019 and the start of 2020 have been bad years healthwise for Master, Miss Adira and myself, chest infections that refused to go away and Miss Adira damaging her shoulder. Never imagining what came next would affect every country in the world. So far we’ve been very very lucky that neither families have had the scare of this virus, keeping our old folk safe in lockdown our main concern. The numbers are dropping very very slowly in England, hopefully this won’t encourage people going out unnecessarily as we only need one person in that contagious, unknowing period to start it spreading once more. And maybe this is the time to reflect, to think about others not just about ourselves, make the world a better place. And hope we will all see an ending very very soon.  

Stay safe fellow bloggers and dear readers xx

First real punishment from Daddy.

writing

First real punishment from Daddy.

I was a bit nervous that Saturday night about the punishment coming up. We’d had a lovely day, my first maintenance spanking from Miss Adira, nice dinner and watched a movie. But we all knew this was still due.

When the film ended, it was getting late. Too late to watch another film, Miss Adira asked Daddy if he was going to get it over with as time was going by.

He got up and went into the cupboard to get out the 2 bamboo canes I’d made months ago after cutting our bamboo down a bit in the garden. He got the loopy out of my bag and told me to go upstairs. His tone had changed, no longer the kind gentle Daddy, more a very annoyed Daddy, that got me upset.

I had to set the video again, this time hoping it would record as my other spanking that day hadn’t. And I was gutted because I really wanted my first spanking from Miss Adira to be recorded. Master is looking up different video cameras or a gopro camera for me to use instead of my phone as it’s not recording or taking photos more often now.

Daddy told me to lie on the bed, not over the footboard, I quickly did I was told. Then the lecture began, along with the loopy, no warm up, no soft taps. And I’ve said before how much a light tap hurts, Daddy and Miss Adira will agree how nasty it is. I did try to stay in position but I was soon rolling side to side. The hits were relentless as my hands began coming round or fisting the bedsheets. I hated hearing Daddy so upset with me, I never intentionally go out of my way to disrespect him. And it usually happens when he says no, or I don’t wanna do something, the brat opens her mouth and stuff she knows should not be said, is said. But I also knew I deserved every swat.

I’ve no idea how many swats I got with that loopy, sometimes wondered about buying one of those finger counter things, then I could watch the video and count them. I may just look into one. A good friend of mine used one to count how many times I was caned on one video, few years ago. It was 200. But you’re never aware at the time, you’re only focus is the pain.

Daddy stopped for a minute, asking me if I wanted a pillow, I think he knew I needed something to hug onto, maybe hoping it will stop me rolling. It didn’t though, but he would grab my ass or hips, roll me back and continue. The tears were flowing into the pillow, my cries louder so I bit into the pillow to stay quiet. Or as quiet as I could.

I heard Daddy drop the loopy and pick the canes up. One was thicker, one was more whippy and thin. There wasn’t really a pause when the caning began, oh I need to try to control my rolling. It’s so much easier to be honest to be tied down, or be over his knee so he can hold me down. But I guess punishments are not made to be easy. The caning hurt so badly over the loopy, the swish of the cane, the mega sting then burn.

Luckily or not for me, the tip of the cane flew off, and watching the video back I could see Daddy checking my bottom as I knew I was bleeding a bit. For whatever reason, Daddy didn’t pick the second cane up. To be honest I hadn’t even realised he didn’t use the second one.

Instead I heard him rummage around in their toy drawer. The first whip of the Alcatraz strap shocked me, now I love the feel of leather on skin, strap, belt, I love them. Not however on top of the loopy and cane. And by the name of this strap its fiercely powerful, it’s long so the tail will catch your sides, the holes blister, burst and burn your skin. This was the first time either of us had used this since we bought it for Master at Christmas. Can I honestly say I wouldn’t want it again, no, course I would, unless it’s used harder and for longer then I’m sure I will want to be hiding it away.

Thankfully Daddy didn’t use this strap for long, before dropping it on the bed and coming over to me, at the side of the bed. Bending down he lifted my head up and saw my tear stained face, he kissed me gently, at first I felt too upset to want his affection, but this only lasted a second or two. Then I held his arms, our heads together, Daddy whispering soft words in my ear. I didn’t crawl into his arms, I was too sore to move so Daddy lay on the bed, hugging me tightly until my tears finally stopped. I knew Daddy hated to see me cry but I deserved every swat. Being a brat is one thing, but being disrespectful is one thing I don’t intend to be again.

During the time I wrote this blog, my curiosity got the better of me and I counted the strokes,

48 with loopy

10 with cane

7 with Alcatraz strap

Few weeks ago Daddy and I watched a live spanking on Skype.

Watching a live spanking with Daddy.

Whilst chatting with DaddyW and LittleM, our friends from SpankingTube, we now chat mostly on kik but DaddyW asked us something that made us then set up Skype with them. LittleM had told him she would like to find a couple who would like to watch her getting spanked. It was a kink of hers, adding humiliation into it, last week they asked if we would like to at first chat on Skype, so we are comfy chatting live, then arrange a time when LittleM could have a maintenance spanking.

We had to sort out the time difference between the UK and their part of the USA, discovering they were 5 hours behind us, Daddy arranged with DaddyW that we would Skype at 9pm our time. We were staying over at Daddy’s house so it fit in great.

In the future we will also do a three-way Skype for times when Daddy and I were not together. That should be interesting, I’ve never done that before.

Anyway, we chatted for a while about their view of the D/s lifestyles, America’s view compared to England. D/s is actually banned in their state, and in a lot of other states too. I never realised it was banned in places, we have D/s clubs, hotels, bed and breakfast, dungeons, the lot. You just need to look and you will find them.

A bit like looking for naturist parks, you know they are there but finding them is the hard job.

Finally DaddyW decided we had chatted enough, they had arranged to have the house to themselves as he had wanted to give LittleM a real thrashing and mouth soaping but her family decided to announce that they were coming over and staying the night, so he changed it to just a maintenance spanking  and no mouth soaping. Usually DaddyW gives LittleM a mouth soaping once a week, but if she is rude, cheeky or cursed then she will always get a soaping. I think he said he will just change the time spent with the soap in her mouth, if it’s been a few times a day. As there are chemicals in the soap so you do have to be careful.

So next time we watch one of her spankings, I’m sure we will get to watch what he does. I want Daddy to watch as well, seeing as he said he will be using soap next time I swear.

I also want Daddy to watch this spanking, listen to what DaddyW says, watch what he does.

A few years ago when they had lots of videos on SpankingTube, their spankings could last 45 minutes or longer. They were great, I don’t like the videos that are less than 5 minutes, I really want to sit and enjoy a long spanking. So DaddyW and littleM’s videos were my favourite to watch.

So the spanking session began.

DaddyW sat on the settee, LittleM was in front of him, holding onto her stuffie. LittleM loves penguins, she has lots of them. DaddyW began by telling her why she was getting this spanking, making sure she understood what she had done wrong, then he began telling her that at first he will paddle her ass then give her a hand spanking over her jeans, standing up in front of their laptop he would pull her jeans and panties down, so her friends could see her bare bottom, she was to go over his knee again for more hand spanking. After that she was to get into position when he will whip her butt with his belt.

Did she understand ? Yes Daddy, LittleM said quietly.

LittleM bent over the settee, as DaddyW got his paddle, he told us he had made that himself. I must say, it looked pretty good, holes drilled into it, it looked very solid and rather heavy. LittleM was told she would get 10 with the paddle. The first couple, LittleM took very well but as it began to hurt, she started to cry out a bit, a hand came around, it was immediately moved with a warning that if she did that again, she would get the cane. She never moved again. Next DaddyW helped her over his knee, the top of her body was lying over the settee, her head tucked into the corner, stuffie under one arm by her head. The hand spanking began, and DaddyW began lecturing her about being a good girl and doing as she was told, then he talked with us for a while. His hand spanking looked hard and fast as LittleM began ouching.

Soon it was time for her to go bare, this was something she didn’t want to do. Not in front of us. Grabbing her jeans and protesting, he slapped her hand away and slowly slid her jeans down, making her humiliation longer, slowly her panties were pulled down too, LittleM protesting again, then she was made to stand in front of the camera, her Daddy told her he wanted her friends to see her crimson bottom, a few little protests came from LittleM, until she was back over DaddyW’s knee. The hand spanking began once more, this time you could tell it was hurting, her legs kicked out a little, one hand came around but she never tried to protect her bottom. It was just there, sometimes going to hold DaddyW’s hand, put her hand over his waist, jeans or back. Anywhere except over her bottom.

My Daddy was watching intently, listening to DaddyW chastise his little, occasionally he would point things out, we both noticed that her bottom had old bruises over it, the combination of the crimson markings, some much darker than others, with the old lighter brown/yellow bruises was really pretty. I love bottoms looking like this, the fresh marks with older marks made such a stunning sexy picture. Then hearing the little ouches, muffled from the settee and stuffie, turned me on a lot too. I could tell Daddy was really concentrating whilst watching, listening, possibly learning new techniques, not that he needed any.

After what seemed a long time spanking LittleM her Daddy helped her up. Again she was positioned in front of the camera so we could see her crimson cheeks. DaddyW continued to talk to her, about her behaviour, about how she was being humiliated in front of her friends, even though this was what she asked for, she knew she would still be embarrassed.

DaddyW stood up then, beginning to take his belt off, “Bend over the settee Little, you know what to do,  I am going to use my belt as a reminder to you being a good girl. You will stay in position and show your friends how good you are.”

The belting began, hard and swift, LittleM was certainly feeling this. I saw her hand fist the settee, her other arm still hugged her stuffie. As it hurt more her hand began to twitch, DaddyW switched sides to ensure both cheeks were fully bruised and sore. His aim was perfect, just the bottom half of her bottom was bright red against the rest of her pale skin. Soon she began moving, her hand going back, DaddyW warned her that if she moved he would get the cane out, this seemed to be enough of a warning not to move again. And she stayed reasonably still until DaddyW finished.

When he was done, he told her to stand up and hugged her tightly. Turning her so we could see her deep crimson bottom. He rubbed her cheeks, kissing her, telling her she was a good girl and that she needed this spanking. He slowly pulled her panties up, then her jeans before telling her to sit down. LittleM looked really embarrassed when she sat down, not really looking at us, I noticed that she wasn’t sitting uncomfortably after her spanking, yet her bottom must be sore and tender. Maybe she’s more like me, enjoying the feeling, loving the sting and feeling the bruises. I usually wiggle around, kinda rolling my bum side to side to feel everything. Maybe that’s just me.

We sat and chatted some more,LittleM was very quiet for a while, holding her stuffie tightly, DaddyW tried to get her to tell us how it felt having us watch this spanking, but I think she was too embarrassed to explain. But DaddyW asked if we could do this again, maybe making it a weekly thing, but we will have to see if that’s possible or maybe every other Saturday when I’m with Daddy we could do it, or do skype three ways. For now we will continue chatting and await the next live spanking.

Swearing last week.


Last night I was going to the theatre with my Mother-in-law and her group of friends. I go with them all the time, it feels like I’ve been adopted as their daughter, by all of them. But it’s really nice and they are all lovely ladies.

They know about my disability but they’ve never seen me at my worst with my chronic pain.

The theatre we go to put on brilliant, hilarious shows, though last nights wasn’t, but the seats are more like church pews, very hard wooden seats with a tiny cushion and a very hard back. I’m often sore when we go, but as Master had said once, “You enjoy the shows, the company, the food. So if you need a few days rest to recover then so be it. You have to still live your life.”

But after having the last 2 months on sick leave, unable to go out at all, due to a shockingly bad flare up, I hoped it was finally over. Last week was the first time I’d been shopping, or just gone out, so I thought going to the theatre would be fine.

But by the time I got to the theatre I felt my back begin to pound and throb. Luckily my Mother-in-law had some diazepam in her bag so I took one, hoping this would ease the pain. It worked for half an hour, then the sharp spasm pains began. It was really hard sitting in the one awkward position before we could finally get up and leave the theatre.

Walking was extremely painful and I knew I was getting slower. One of the ladies took my handbag and walked with me, finally reaching the car was such a relief for me.

BUT, I couldn’t get in the car, my Mother-in-law has a high up car, with no side step, as I tried to get one leg up, I couldn’t then bend to get in. The lady with my bag suggested I kneel up first, so I tried that. It took me a few goes before I swore, “ Fudging hell.” as I fell, face forwards onto the car seat. Finally I was kneeling on the door frame, I turned my body into the footwell, facing the seat. From there I was able to pull myself up, turn and collapse into the seat. I felt so humiliated and ashamed of myself just not being able to climb into the car, my back was pounding as I got my seat belt on, the lady put my bag on the floor then carefully closed the door.

As we drove home I starting thinking about Daddy and about me swearing. I was so mad with myself as I’d been really good at not using bad language, I hadn’t said the f bomb in weeks. I may have said it in my head, but even that was rare.

I knew I had to tell Daddy, but I was scared of his response, and honestly, I was scared of having a mouth soaping. But mostly I felt like I had let him down, I’d let myself down and I was very disappointed in myself.

I decided when I got home that I was going to do my ‘arrived home safe’ message as a video. I needed to own up there and then. So holding the phone up, I firstly told him about the play, then chatted about the meal and the ladies before I told him. Explaining how I couldn’t get in the car and about me swearing. Suddenly all my emotions flooded out, as I began to cry, telling him over and over that I’d let him down, I’d ruined 2 really good weeks with this, that I was so so sorry. I stuttered, heaving deep breaths. Daddy was going to be so cross I thought as I continued the message, before saying night night and hanging up.

I went to bed with a heavy heart,  guilt is a terrible thing to drag you down. As I got into bed, the dogs finally settled, I hugged Minxsie bear, before finally going to sleep and I slept really well for once.

When I got up and woke up properly, I looked at my messages, I was nervous when I saw Daddy had left me a message, so I clicked play. I heard his reply, he understood why the f bomb slipped out, and as my Daddy he had to decide why the situation happened and if it warranted a punishment. On this occasion, knowing how bad the last 2 months had been, he was not going to punish me for it. If I had sworn in a road rage or just during a chat, that would be a different matter. He was not going to alter my behaviour chart, or even put in a comment about it. But young lady this does not mean I’m being a soft Daddy, left me tell you now, this is not a free pass for you to swear whenever you feel like it, you will feel the wrath of Daddy if you start swearing again. But for now, you have not let me down, you’ve not let yourself down or anything else.

I breathed deeply whilst I listened to him, relieved yet still upset with myself but grateful Daddy wasn’t cross with me. I guess sometimes on the very rare occasion, Daddy could forgive me for swearing but only on a very rare occasion. I just need to forgive myself now too.

I was surprised how upset I was, making me realise how much I wanted to please not just Master but Daddy too and how much better it feels being a good girl than a bratty girl always in trouble. Though I know the bratty side will come out at times but if it’s only every now and then I don’t think that’s too bad.

Cursing.

Swearing.

Last night I was going to the theatre with my Mother-in-law and her group of friends. I go with them all the time, it feels like I’ve been adopted as their daughter, by all of them. But it’s really nice and they are all lovely ladies.

They know about my disability but they’ve never seen me at my worst with my chronic pain.

The theatre we go to put on brilliant, hilarious shows, though last nights wasn’t, but the seats are more like church pews, very hard wooden seats with a tiny cushion and a very hard back. I’m often sore when we go, but as Master had said once, “You enjoy the shows, the company, the food. So if you need a few days rest to recover then so be it. You have to still live your life.”

But after having the last 2 months on sick leave, unable to go out at all, due to a shockingly bad flare up, I hoped it was finally over. Last week was the first time I’d been shopping, or just gone out, so I thought going to the theatre would be fine.

But by the time I got to the theatre I felt my back begin to pound and throb. Luckily my Mother-in-law had some diazepam in her bag so I took one, hoping this would ease the pain. It worked for half an hour, then the sharp spasm pains began. It was really hard sitting in the one awkward position before we could finally get up and leave the theatre.

Walking was extremely painful and I knew I was getting slower. One of the ladies took my handbag and walked with me, finally reaching the car was such a relief for me.

BUT, I couldn’t get in the car, my Mother-in-law has a high up car, with no side step, as I tried to get one leg up, I couldn’t then bend to get in. The lady with my bag suggested I kneel up first, so I tried that. It took me a few goes before I swore, “ Fudging hell.” as I fell, face forwards onto the car seat. Finally I was kneeling on the door frame, I turned my body into the footwell, facing the seat. From there I was able to pull myself up, turn and collapse into the seat. I felt so humiliated and ashamed of myself just not being able to climb into the car, my back was pounding as I got my seat belt on, the lady put my bag on the floor then carefully closed the door.

As we drove home I starting thinking about Daddy and about me swearing. I was so mad with myself as I’d been really good at not using bad language, I hadn’t said the f bomb in weeks. I may have said it in my head, but even that was rare.

I knew I had to tell Daddy, but I was scared of his response, and honestly, I was scared of having a mouth soaping. But mostly I felt like I had let him down, I’d let myself down and I was very disappointed in myself.

I decided when I got home that I was going to do my ‘arrived home safe’ message as a video. I needed to own up there and then. So holding the phone up, I firstly told him about the play, then chatted about the meal and the ladies before I told him. Explaining how I couldn’t get in the car and about me swearing. Suddenly all my emotions flooded out, as I began to cry, telling him over and over that I’d let him down, I’d ruined 2 really good weeks with this, that was so so sorry. I stuttered, heaving deep breaths. Daddy was going to be so cross I thought as I continued the message, before saying night night and hanging up.

I went to bed with a heavy heart,  guilt is a terrible thing to drag you down. As I got into bed, the dogs finally settled, I hugged Minxsie bear, before finally going to sleep and I slept really well for once.

When I got up and woke up properly, I looked at my messages, I was nervous when I saw Daddy had left me a message, so I clicked play. I heard his reply, he understood why the f bomb slipped out, and as my Daddy he had to decide why the situation happened and if it warranted a punishment. On this occasion, knowing how bad the last 2 months had been, he was not going to punish me for it. If I had sworn in a road rage or just during a chat, that would be a different matter. He was not going to alter my behaviour chart, or even put in a comment about it. But young lady this does not mean I’m being a soft Daddy, left me tell you now, this is not a free pass for you to swear whenever you feel like it, you will feel the wrath of Daddy if you start swearing again. But for now, you have not let me down, you’ve not let yourself down or anything else.

I breathed deeply whilst I listened to him, relieved yet still upset with myself but grateful Daddy wasn’t cross with me. I guess sometimes on the very rare occasion, Daddy could forgive me for swearing but only on a very rare occasion. I just need to forgive myself now too.

I was surprised how upset I was, making me realise how much I wanted to please not just Daddy but Master too and how much better it feels being a good girl than a bratty girl always in trouble. Though I know the bratty side will come out at times but if it’s only every now and then I don’t think that’s too bad.

Waking up in the morning, all sore in different places.

Waking up in the morning all sore in different places.

Sunday morning I woke up, hearing Daddy already up, letting the pets go in the garden, cleaning the kitchen. When he came back into the living room, he climbed back into bed and snuggled up closely to me. Slowly his hand slid down my body, fingers spreading my legs as they also found my happy spot.

A spot so sore, I winced as he touched me, rolling my clit round and round, as fingers tried to enter me. I felt so swollen, extremely painful and very dry. The dryness caused by my flippin menopause, I was ready to tell Daddy to use the lube PjggyJ brought down last night but I didn’t. I think I find it a bit embarrassing to be so dry. It’s not because I’m not turned on, absolutely not, the HRT patches are supposed to alleviate this problem, but it’s not working.

Anyway feeling my dryness, Daddy licked his fingers then entered again. It was hard to push the pain to the back of my head, to not say stop but it also reminded me of the fun we had the night before, a grin on my face as I remembered.

I’ve been on sick leave since the beginning of December, so we’ve not really played. Its banned when I’m on sick leave because I can’t help moving, grinding, thrashing about. Even this weekend Master said we were allowed to play but we must be gentle.

And Daddy did make sure I didn’t go mad, but he also wanted to rock my world. He wanted to pleasure me until I could take no more.

He certainly made that happen, I grinned as I looked back, how many times had I cum, at least 5 or 6. I know I squirted, well I gushed like a dam bursting, 4 or 5 times that night, and boy did I need it. Even after my first one, my body kinda felt refreshed,  I felt alive again. But Daddy hadn’t finished with me yet.

As his fingers delved into the depths of my happy spot, his thumb tickled and teased my clit, it wasn’t long before I felt my juices begin to slip around Daddy’s fingers, making it feel amazing once more. Sitting up, Daddy was able to reach deeper, I gasped, grinding myself to meet his fingers. An orgasm building up inside me, I cried out, unable to keep it quiet.

“Do you want to cum babygirl ?” Daddy asked. I cried out a Yes please. “Are you ready to squirt baby ?” he asked  Yeesssss I muttered/cried/screamed out. Daddy laughed, “Cum for me, little girl, make Daddy proud. Squirt for me baby.” I needed no encouraging, as I almost violently let myself go, my cum gushed out like a tsunami, flooding the bed, I felt it up my back but I hadn’t finished as Daddy paused for a moment, so I could get my breath back, but only seconds later he started again and I was quickly thrown into our passion once more. This time there was no squirting, it was a calmer orgasm, one to end a desperate play, I’d been frantic for. Daddy had certainly rocked my world.

I dreamed a spanking, just like I longed for. I hope comes true soon, just like I longed.

It had been a while since I got spanked, my back has been so painful for weeks, everytime I thought it was getting better, it was only getting worse or stayed the same.

Seeing Daddy had been very difficult as we both felt the desire to spank and play but it had been banned by Master until I was better.

Two weeks later, Daddy had his day off, he sent me an order.

‘Have the camera on its stand facing the bed, put Netflix on the TV and we shall continue watching Sons of Anarchy. Get the episode ready, series 1, episode 3 in case you had forgotten. When I arrive I want you naked, sat up on your knees, feet crossed, facing the wall, hands on your head. You will remain there until I tell you. Understand Little Minxs ?’ It said. ‘Yes Daddy’ I replied, a little shocked at how strict he sounded. Maybe we are gonna snuggle on the bed watching TV, well I guess that would be nice but I’d much rather have some fun.

As soon as I spotted his car arrive, I got into position. As usual I heard the commotion coming from the dogs, both wanting all Daddy’s attention, as he locked the front door. He never spoke to to me, I could feel myself begin to sulk as he went and got a coffee then sat on the settee as the dogs craved his love.

Once he drunk his coffee, he went upstairs. I heard him rummage about upstairs. I had no idea what he was doing. I hadn’t asked permission to play from Master and as far as I knew neither had Daddy. So he can’t be preparing to play, can he ?

After at least 40 minutes of being on my knees, they were really hurting, I heard him call down, “Make a brew and bring them up please.” I carefully stood up, getting my balance before making the coffee and carried them carefully upstairs. He lay on the bed, naked, as he patted the bed next to him. There were no signs of anything out of the drawers, but I was giddy with finally getting his attention. So I scrambled next to him, getting into my favourite position for snuggling, until the coffee was cool enough to drink. Both dogs were settled at the end of the bed now fast asleep

“Pass me the cushions off the floor please, then check the video, I want it close up to us. Once it’s in the correct position put the video on record then climb next to me.” He told me as I passed him the cushions which he put by his opposite side. After sorting the camera I climbed next to him, ready to snuggle instead he said “No, lie over my lap, use the cushions to make yourself comfy.” I felt a twinge in my pussy, were we gonna be playing, I wondered. But what about Master ? He could be watching. I thought, worried but desperate for his touch.

We continued to watch Sons of Anarchy for a few minutes, “Are you comfy Little Minxs, how’s your back ? Tell me the truth.” “It’s fine so far Daddy.” I said. “Good girl, as soon as it begins to hurt you tell me, promise me.” “I promise Daddy.” Quickly rolling my eyes, but he couldn’t see me so it didn’t matter. But I knew he was only looking out for me, so I felt a little guilty doing it.

We lay like this for some time, Daddy gently stroked my hair,  tickled my back or my legs before I felt his hand on my bottom, stroking, squeezing, teasing my hole. I giggled, “Daddy I haven’t asked permission. We can’t play.” “Let me worry about that,” he told me. This wasn’t like him, he hated punishments, I mean really hated them, not like me or PiggyJ, so why would he do something he knew would get us both punished. But me being me just started to relax into it.

We chatted about the TV show, I love Sons of Anarchy, I was comfy, enjoying Daddy’s touch, plus watching Sons.

Suddenly Daddy lifted his hand and walloped me so hard, I jumped, “OW,” I tried to move but he had his hand firmly on my back. “Did that hurt…….” “Of course it hurt Daddy.” Another wallop. “OW !” “Did that hurt your back ? I was going to ask, had you not interrupted me.” “Oh, erm no I don’t think so, it was all a bit of a shock, all I was thinking about was me bum.”

Daddy chuckled, “Relax, babygirl. Carry on watching Sons.” Daddy waited until he felt me relax fully. “Now I am gonna spank you, the minute you tense up your back I will stop. The minute you tell me your back, not arse, is hurting, I stop. Understand ?” “Yes Daddy,” I said quietly.

Daddy then alternated between stroking, tickling to spanking me. His slaps were not gentle, this had been what I wanted for weeks now. I dreamt of a hand spanking for so long. He kept his other hand on my lower back so he could feel me tense up. Smiling, Daddy was enjoying himself feeling my skin become hotter and hotter, its colour once white, now a brilliant crimson. But he had no intention of stopping yet.

I was thoroughly enjoying myself, sinking into the cushions, I closed my eyes unable to concentrate on the program, so I listened to it instead, every now and then he stopped, “I feel okay Daddy, promise,” I said. “Good girl,” Daddy whispered.

Something cold, lube I presumed dribbled down my crack, a finger slipped it deeper towards my hole. Slowly he pushed his finger inside, just a little, waiting to feel if I tense up, then pushed further. I pushed back when suddenly he pulled out. “If you are going to do that, we are not playing, you do not move, no thrusts, no pushing back nothing, or game over.” He waited until I sulkily said “Yes Daddy.” Then he started again, this time pushing 2 fingers inside, roughly this time, his fingers flicked about inside me. It was Sooo hard not to grind into his fingers but I stayed put, in fact I was quite proud of staying still.

Soon his fingers slipped out and the spanking continued. Sit spot and legs were his choice of area this time. I couldn’t stop myself gasping, crying out, even though I was enjoying it, my bottom was beginning to feel really really sore. But we watched 3 episodes of Sons whilst Daddy played with my bottom.

I heard him pull out a drawer then get comfy again as it was a bit of a reach for him. “Now babygirl, you have a punishment waiting for you. 100 with the cane I believe it was.” “But Daddy I……..” “No buts, stay where you are, DO NOT TENSE UP.”

I didn’t know Daddy had got a smaller bamboo cane out of the drawer. About a month ago I was cutting some of our bamboo down, saving some branches as I thought they would make good canes. Last week he tried one of them, they had dried out and it was incredibly painful as he caned my hands then ass only a few times. When I was on the phone he then chose to continue caning my ass, I inwardly screeched out as I talked to my doctor. He thought it was hilarious.

He’s decided the cane is one of his favourite toys.

I felt the tap of the hard cane on my sore sit spot, one hand rested on my lower back as he started continuous taps of the cane. I quite like it continuous, the pain gradually grows stronger as it licks the same spot over and over. “That’s 25.” he told me. Moving the cane to the middle of my ass, he repeated the process a lot harder. I wriggled slightly with this one, my ouches were loud, some more screams. When he moved to my legs I began to protest, only to be awarded with hard whips until I only cried out but didn’t complain. My legs began kicking out, I felt welts swell, the skin burned, I knew there were thick red stripes across them. But as I kicked out, the cane hit back harder, but it hurt so much, I couldn’t stop myself fighting it. Crying and begging for Daddy to stop, suddenly he did.

“Raise your feet little girl, together and flat. Now.” He told me I did as I was told for once, I knew what he was going to do. “Relax please, I do not want you to strain your back.”

Was he joking ? I mean, I had a lovely hand spanking followed by a horrible 25 with the cane on my sit spot, then buttocks, then legs and he thinks I’m going to be relaxed when I know he’s gonna cane my feet.

But I did it, waiting for that first strike, he tapped my back, knowing I was tense, breathing deeply I tried to relax and slowly I did. “Good girl.” then whack, one strike and I jumped up.

Sweating, crying, I woke up and realised it was all a dream. Yet my body ached as if I had just had a wonderful, painful spanking. Yes I was asleep next to Daddy, but I’d had no spanking, it was still banned, this was all a dream.

Just having a moan.

Sorry I’m just having a rant. Suffering with chronic pain sucks.

I’ve never hidden away from my disability since i joined Tube or Fetlife or from my own blog, I have always appreciated the kind messages left from fellow spankos.

Now I’m concerned the issue with my back has moved up my spine.

I’ve had degenerative discs in my lower back for the past 18 years. Surgeons will not do anything with it as there’s more chance it will become worse than better. So I’ve just had to deal with it.

But over the past 4 months or more, I’ve had very sharp, stabbing pain higher up my spine. Master says the muscles are very knotted and tight, but the pain, oh boy, it’s like the start of my back problems all over again. I’ve cried with the pain, very wobbly on my feet, cannot stand straight and I’m needing to hold on every time I am stood up. We think it covers 3 or 4 discs in the middle if my spine that feel different.

My emotions have been awful, you know the type of thing, telling Daddy and PiggyJ that they don’t deserve to be stuck with someone like me, they deserve a healthy couple, a load of rubbish I know, they knew about my disability and about Masters migraines from the beginning and happily signed up to be with us, through the good times and bad times, through the fun and the sad times. I got thoroughly told off by both of them for saying it, but I know they wouldn’t leave us. I know I didn’t mean it.

My mind goes into a jumble of pain, anger, then concern that Daddy and PiggyJ don’t deserve this in a relationship, that this isn’t what they wanted. I’m concerned that these issues are more serious, have I now got more degenerative discs ?

I can’t have MRI scans anymore due to the internal tens machine I have above my left buttock, so I’m not sure the drs could see any damage with a CT scan, it took many MRI scans before they found out what was wrong initially.

I’ve hardly been out since mid-December, cancelling dates with girlfriends. Daddy and Master have not let me go out shopping, Daddy has even done shopping for me on his day off and we’ve not been able to play for a few weeks. I have to beg to go out yet the answer is usually no.

Now it’s really getting me down, I can’t just spend my life lying down, I’ve a family to look after, pets that need me, my Dad needs me to help with Mum’s dementia and alzheimer’s yet I’m not able to do any of those things.

I’ve now made an appointment to see my GP, my mother-in-law is coming with me. We now have Bupa with Master’s job, but I’m not sure what this means for me, but I think it’s time I went for a check up.

I am truly hacked off with it now, it’s wearing me down, so exhausting, every movement is an effort. I don’t want to spend my life back on diazepam or something stronger like opiates. On top of this,  I’m trying to lose weight, yet with doing no exercise, it’s almost impossible as I can’t even walk the dogs at the moment.

I need to get out of this low dip in my life, I hate feeling so down. I think a nice spanking may help but Master or Daddy won’t give me one yet. So I’m stuck in this box of pain that won’t shrink away and I can honestly say I’m extremely pissed off with it.

Master and E are doing everything they can to help me, it’s easier now E is driving as he can go shopping to. But they must get tired of seeing ne fed up, having to help me get up, get dressed, even get showered. E must get upset seeing me struggle, I know they’ve lived with this for 18 years too, they’ve had to change their lives, and it is very tiring on Master. He has a long day at work, a very stressful job, when he comes home it’s often not to relax, it’s to sort me out first. But we live/cope with it better, Daddy and PiggyJ joining us helps us too. Now when Master has to go away, I’ve got them to call if I’m really struggling. But being one big family is keeping me positive most of the time. Life us just shit at times, like now.

Bit of a bad week.

Not a good week.

At the start of the new year, Daddy wanted to go over the rules, seeing if he wanted any changes. There weren’t many, my lines have gone from 50 to 150 every day, and all photos of my lines, my maths, selfie and naughty selfie HAS to be sent before 10am.

Everything else was the same, but he said he would be clamping down on any bratty behaviour, even the tiniest thing.

The brat in me will have to check this out and see if Daddy means this. You know I love being a bit bratty.

On 5th Jan, I was 15 minutes late sending Daddy my tasks.

Daddy told me I had to do double lines in different rainbow colours the next day, 6th Jan.

I was really tired and knew that the lines were not really neat.

So 7th Jan I was told to repeat them again, and make sure I was not making up sentences this time. Apparently I was writing Master instead of Daddy in the sentence.

Tues 8th Jan, my back was awful, I think the mix of December being such a busy time, life in general with my back and then a very nice play on the Monday. I was in agony and could barely walk. So I was told NOT to do anything, rest only. And Daddy was deadly serious about this. But I didn’t break his rule, piles of laundry boxes were in the kitchen waiting to be washed but they would just have to stay there. I went to bed for most of the day, hot water bottles and diazepam were keeping me company.

Wed 9th, my back was no better. I tried to discuss the do nothing rule but Daddy said there was nothing to discuss. I had been blogging in the morning and forgot to send my tasks, I ended up being 14 minutes late again. I also had to admit I swore when writing a message to PiggyJ and said the poo word when I nearly tripped over and headbutted the corner of E’s wardrobe when I was sorting out food for the cat. She lives in his room, her food is kept on the windowsill and he has his arm weights on the floor at the bottom end of his bed, which is the only area you can walk to reach the windowsill.

I had to go to bed at 7pm, plus Daddy had Master put 2 spoons of rice into a container and I had to count them to see how many there were. And do double lines again in rainbow colours. Plus the following day I had to send a selfie every hour from the time I got up to the time I go to bed. He wanted some happy smiling faces and naked selfies too. (Master heard this and suggested I draw smiling faces on my body to send to him as well.) I intend to set a timer for every hour so throughout the day, I would send a picture. Having done this many times for Master, I now take all of them, plus some extras, in one go. So I will set up my selfie stick and wander around taking different shots. PiggyJ told me to set my alarm to go off every morning before your due to send the tasks, just to remind me, so I’ve done this too.

Thurs 9th was a busy day, with double lines, doing the selfies, my back was a little better so I was allowed to do some laundry, but that’s it. I was really tired and as usual became bratty tired Little Minxs. By the end of the day, I was sent to bed at 7pm, I could watch TV until 8pm, but only BBC 1 OR 2, then read a book. NO ELECTRONICS, I have no books, they are all on my kindle, so i found one in E’s room. But when it came to reading it, I couldn’t see the writing. The font on my kindle is bigger, so I tried using my flashlight to help, my magnifying glass was downstairs. I gave up and went to sleep just after 8.

Yesterday, I remembered my tasks, PiggyJ was coming for the day, we should have been going to the cinema but we all thought it wasn’t a good idea, walking to cinema from car park, climbing the stairs, the film was on for 2 hours, so may need to go for a wee during the film, so we decided if I felt okay, we would go for lunch. Master said he would see if he could come along and have a proper lunch time away from the computer but unfortunately he was mad busy as usual. But PiggyJ and I had a great time, chatted bout the boys, kids, everything. It’s so easy to just chat with her, any quiet moments were just natural. We enjoyed our lunch, but had no pudding, that was PiggyJ’s suggestion now we are all getting into healthy eating again. Back home we had a cuppa then PiggyJ had to leave to pick Daddy up from work.

I must admit I was really tired when PiggyJ left, but it came out as a bit bratty. When I pulled a face at Daddy he told me to take my phone and go outside, walk to the other end of the garden, put the phone somewhere where I could see him and then do 5 minute timeout facing the fence with my hands on my head. There was something else I did, can’t remember what, but Daddy said I was banned from drinking alcohol on Saturday when we go round to theirs. I’m not allowed to play either but not because I’ve been naughty, just because I will make my back even worse as I do grind/move around a lot during play.

I went to bed early, fell asleep not long after 8pm. Hopefully next week I will be a good girl all week. Or maybe not lol.