My stubborn behaviour left me feeling so guilty, I had to own up about my indescretion.

Miss Adira set a new rule about July time, that I could not dye my hair my usual plum colour, not dye it at all. She wanted to see my natural hair color and I hate my natural colour, strawberry blond, it’s a bit dull, boring. Much preferring the bold, bright purple or bright chilli red. It kinda makes a statement, shows my real personality. I was not happy at all, every week or so, I asked and the answer was always no. After a month or so, I heard her tell Master that she was only doing it to wind me up, it was funny. Well I was fuming when I heard that, I said, “Well if that’s the case then, I will dye my hair this week.” “No you will not.” She stated, I could tell she meant every word. 

There was no changing her mind, and I was getting more and more peeved about it. By late October my stubborn, pigheaded head was working overtime, my bratty head began working too much. One night I was sat in bed, it was time for me to turn the TV off and do some colouring for 20 minutes, Miss Adira’s rule.

I began thinking, Well if Miss Adira won’t let me dye my hair, then I’m not gonna do my colouring and I’m gonna watch TV until 10pm, so there. IMaging me pulling my tongue out as well, being a real brat.

So it began, I had this thought every night, but because I’m so stubborn, I continued my deception. Thinking I had one over Miss Adira. 

As time went on, I began to feel terribly guilty. But the more she repeatedly said No to me, the more I continued. I often worried if Master had got the camera in our room working so Miss Adira or Daddy could connect to it and see what I was up to. 

I also wondered why Miss Adira hadn’t asked where was my daily photograph to show the colouring I did the night before. She never asked once. Naturally I never mentioned it, but I was very surprised about her non-reaction.

This was very unlike Miss Adira, She is always on the ball with my tasks,  knowing immediately if I’ve missed one, yet she still said nothing.

I think this made my guilty feeling become stronger, By the end of November every night I felt immense guilt turning the lights and TV off at 10pm, but I continued. The same thoughts going in my head, Well if DiDi won’t let me dye my hair, then I’m still not doing my colouring. I know it’s pathetic, ridiculous and most of all very childish.

After our lovely weekend celebrating Miss Adira’s birthday, I thought I had to own up. It was getting closer to Christmas, my guilt was building inside, so just before Christmas I told her, well I thought I messaged her on Whatsapp, but I couldn’t find it so I asked DiDi to look. Apparently I wrote it in my daily diary and on Whatsapp, I got this message, “Just dye your hair.” I replied “No, I’m not doing it.”

By now, I’d kinda accepted that I was never gonna be able to dye me hair again, I’d just have to deal with the colour, it didn’t help when Daddy kept telling me to just dye my hair. I repeatedly told him, “It is more than my life is worth.” So I was starting to accept my natural hair colour.

Then on Boxing Day when we were exchanging gifts, Miss Adira handed me a basket filled with little gifts, the first thing I saw was a box of hair dye, exactly the one I use. Apparently Master had the job of trying to find a box of my hair colour in my bedroom cupboards, take a picture of it and send it to DiDi, so she could buy the right one. It was quite a task for him to do it without me seeing or finding it out.

So you can imagine the guilt I felt then. It was the worst feeling ever. And as the days went on, Miss Adira still said nothing about my indiscretion. On the 2nd January the boys were back at work, the rules were starting again, after being allowed a Christmas break. I asked Miss Adira if the bedtime rules restart, she replied. “You would presume correct.” 

Again there was no other comment from her, I swear this is like the worst punishment I could have about this. My guilt was just bursting out, it was killing me just waiting for her to say something about it.

On the 8th January I asked again, “Are you ever going to bring up the bedtime crime ?” I asked her, I was feeling really guilty about it. She sent me a very happy, smiley emoji as her reply. “That’s why you’re not saying anything isn’t it, coz you know this was as bad as receiving a punishment.” I stated. “Yup,” she said. “Oh that’s cruel, so so cruel,” I replied. “Yes I am,” DiDi answered. “But still loves ya,” I told her. “Love you more,” she answered.

From then on, my guilt started to lift, it was very slow, and at bedtime I still thought about it. So my rule is bedtime at 9pm, watch TV until 9.40pm, turn the TV off and do some colouring until 10pm. If I’m tired before then, I am to go to sleep.

So as it’s a new year, Miss Adira wanted to take our dynamic further, we both wanted her to go stricter, she wanted to add more restrictive rules, like Daddy choosing my clothes for the day, choosing my meals, telling me if I’m allowed booze or treaties. I told her I was very happy to have more, so we spent the next few days discussing possible new rules. Set so many hours watching TV, Should I ask to watch TV, Should I ask to watch the particular programme.

In the end we finally got some new rules set.

  1. Ask to sit on the furniture when we are together as a group or just us.
  2. Ask permission to use the toilet. (If no response in time to be determined) then consider permission is granted.
  3. 6 hours of TV per day – time can be earned or deducted, if deducted then Miss Adira will notify ma about what can be done instead in the time deducted. This goes from 8am to 5pm. From 5pm – 8.45pm it’s Master’s choice of TV. If I’m up in the night, I may watch unlimited TV of recorded programmes only, until 8am.
  4. Permission to speak to be asked for. When in the group, ask to speak once for the time together. When it’s just the 2 of us, ask every time.
  5. Permission to be asked for what colour I will dye my hair.
  6. To play with oneself to learn how to make myself squirt, twice a week, videoed.
  7. I am to keep a butt plug and jingle balls in my handbag all the time so at anytime Miss Adira can tell me to go and put either in and video doing it.
  8. Improve on etiquette, good manners, behaving ladylike and courteous to others. Addressing people correctly, waiting for everyone to get their food before eating, not talking over people, opening the door for someone, when passing a drink in a cup ensure the handle is facing them.
  9. Months when chapters of MissAdita’s book is to be written are – February, April. June, August, October and December.

 

My first experience with the jiggle balls was on Monday. I was going to a ballet at the theatre, Miss Adira had told me to go to the toilets in the interval and put the jingles in, videoing it as well. I asked if she would mind if I did it when we first get to the theatre as I don’t go to the toilets in the interval, the queue is always far too long. She said that was fine.

We arrived with plenty of time, so I headed to the disabled toilet, got me phone out and put it in a place where he would be able to see a bit. I had no lube so I put a little bit of soap on it. Well could I put the darnn thing in……no I could not. Huffing and puffing it was not easy, my right foot up on the toilet. I could not shove the thing in. I could hear people outside, there was a queue now. So I tried my left leg up on the toilet, see if that works. No, this way was even worse. All the while I talked to Miss Adira quietly so no one else could hear me. After 3 minutes, I thought I can’t be in here any longer, I had to give up. So I told Miss Adira that this was a complete fail for my first go, maybe I was rushing in the public toilets. I didn’t understand it, I’ve put them in many, many times, I was going to have to figure it out over the next few days at home. Miss Adira said the video was the funniest thing she has watched in a long time, listening to you huff and puff, talking quietly, struggling coz you had all your clothes bunched up, it was hilarious. I’m surprised my mother-in-law didn’t ask why I was all flushed, because I must’ve been.

Two days later I felt like I’d been fisted for hours, I felt bruised and battered around my happy spot, I presume from trying to put the jiggle in. After I’d done my homework, I had time to video part 2 of the jiggles as I am now calling it. Finding somewhere to put my phone, I sat down this time, one leg up on the stool, then just as I pressed record and began, the phone fell down, this repeated about 3 more times. Before I stopped the video, thinking about where I can go and put the camera before I call time again. Surely that wasn’t going to happen again. I sorted myself out, changed position, sorted my phone out, ready for the restart of part 2. I began again. Lubed up, I pushed the first ball in but it popped out, I pushed it back, trying to push the second ball in but as soon as I took my finger away, the darnn thing popped out again. I was beside myself now, why wouldn’t the flamin thing go in. I felt relaxed but by the God, I seemed closed up tight. Trying over and over I was losing patience. That’s it, I’m done today. Epic fail, part 2.

The next day after I had a shower, I spent some time having a little play, following the rules Miss Adira had set, trying to make myself squirt, I had to video it so Miss Adira could see if I squirted or not. Anyway that didn’t happen, but I did enjoy the play. So I decided to try Part 3 of the jingles again now I was lubed up and spread open a bit from using my fav rabbit. Still lying on the bed, I pushed the first ball in easily, (why was it so difficult before) the second ball went in with a bit of a shove. Pushing them right up there though, was a bit difficult. My fingers aren’t long enough to reach, I did think about using my rabbit to push it further up lol, but then after another thrust up, it stayed in place. Finally I had done it, I can’t believe it took 3 goes to do it. We have little sachets of lube we bought if we went to the swingers club, so I have now put some in the bag with my jingle, so at anytime Miss Adira tells me to put it in, I’m prepared. I just hope I don’t have to lie on the public toilets floor to put it in all the time though.

Anyway I finally did it for Miss Adira and kept it in until my afternoon nap, she was very pleased and amused by the latest video, so I was pleased I had made her proud of me and for me myself, well I was proud of myself because I really couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t do it, I was determined to do it and I did. Plus they felt darnn good too. I put a little bounce in my step to feel the balls jingle inside me……..mmmmm I like them.

3 thoughts on “My stubborn behaviour left me feeling so guilty, I had to own up about my indescretion.

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