Not a good year so far.

Not been a good year so far.

I need to apologise for not writing any blogs recently, life has just been full of illness since Xmas. I had 2 months of terrible chronic back pain after the Xmas rush, finally able to venture out into the big wide world when 2 weeks later I developed a chest infection which took 7 weeks to actually go, though I was told I had got another chest infection, then another. I always felt it had never really left my body, hence it taking so long to go.

Plus Miss Adira was fighting to get rid of a terrible cold/chest cough/virus. Lasting as long as my chest infections. We ended up having to stay away as we felt we were just passing bugs to each other. It was obvious that both Miss Adira and I had very low resistance to any tiny bug or infection.

Also it was getting closer and closer to our first holiday together. We were going to our naturist park, Master and I have been to for the past 2 years. We both felt extremely comfortable there, and we knew Daddy and Miss Adira would love it too. So when we asked if they wanted to come, they jumped at it.

Now the holiday was finally here and we were all looking forward to it so much.

Then the worst happens. On Good Friday, my Dad phoned in a state, Mum had collapsed, fell unconscious for 10 minutes. Dad had phoned emergency services, I drove quickly round to their house then soon the ambulance turned up. Mum had another 2 ‘episodes’ with the ambulance drivers, who said we had to go to hospital, then she had 5 more in A & E.

11 days later, Mum has had the Norovirus, then Dad had it. How I never got it I don’t know as I had to help Mum with the sick bowls, getting her to the toilet, cleaning her up. All we know is she has a v v v fast heart beat or a v v v slow one. Because she has both, the Drs don’t know how to treat her. Plus when she had the virus, her sick was a deep red/brown colour. An alarming colour. To me and Dad it looked like there was blood in it, but what do we know, we are not trained doctors.

When Mum was sick again, with it looking the same reddish brown colour, we were lucky because the Dr was there so she saw it. Finally she said there was something wrong with her tummy, something we had been saying since she first got to A & E. But the Dr was claiming there was nothing wrong.

After a very strong disagreement with the Dr on the ward about the lack of communication or action towards getting Mum better, the day after the disagreement, the nurses and Dr were more keen to talk. I complained to PALS, this is like a voluntary service for relatives/patients who have issues with staff or hospital in general. They gave me a patient passport form, this was for the family of dementia/alzheimer’s patients to fill out, it covered the very basics on the patient, something we should have been given on her first day of hospital as they knew she has dementia.

The lady from PALS was very helpful and there was a definite change to the staff and Mums care following this disagreement.

But now, day 12, and still nothing has been done. I felt like they weren’t listening to us, they were asking Mum questions, she couldn’t answer or gave the wrong answer, even though she thought it was correct. Then when the Dr looked at me and Dad, it was as if she was saying why haven’t you taken her to the Drs for this tummy issue or this dizziness issue before, if she’s had it over 4 years. I repeatedly said we cannot get Mum to go and see her GP, it becomes WW3 in the house if we even suggest it. So Dad never pushes it, choosing to keep the peace at home instead. Mum is of the age where you only see the GP if you’re on your deathbed.

But like I say, no tests/nothing’s been done yet. Except a brain scan and blood tests, we don’t know the results. Mum started to get anxious, claiming the staff were out to kill everyone, she got moved to an individual room, so they could give the other room a deep clean as they had the Norovirus in there. Mum claimed she had a very serious disease/infection as they’ve moved her to this room by herself. Of course we know it isn’t, explaining to Mum she understood for those few seconds, until she complained again 2 minutes later.

I’ve been worrying about Dad, who is taking this all very well but at 84, he’s not a spring chicken anymore. He’s lost weight, so I’m now asking over and over, have you eaten, did you manage any sleep etc etc.

I’m very concerned about her coming home, her dizziness is a major concern to the physiotherapists and social services will be coming around to their house to see what help they can give her. I already think Dad needs to move their bedroom downstairs as the bathroom, kitchen and living room would all be on the same level. We could put a baby gate on the stairs to stop her going up, telling her we need it for our dogs, to stop them going upstairs. But I will be happier if the bedroom was downstairs now, Dad will take some persuading unless Social Services say it’s a must unless she has to go into a care home and that’s definitely not an option for her.

So it’s been very hard knowing our holiday was only round the corner and feeling guilty about whether I should go away, whether I should stay and let the others go. Both Mum an Dad said go, Master, Daddy and Miss Adira didn’t know what to say either. We would be 5 ½ hours away, so not just round the corner if I was needed, Daddy had said if I wasn’t going then he wouldn’t go either. Which made me feel even more guilty if I was to cancel. Plus we would lose quite a bit of money though that was the least of my concerns really.

Saturday before our holiday, I visited Mum, both her and Dad made me promise I would go on holiday and enjoy it but also told me not to visit on the Sunday, use that day to rest as I was nearly falling asleep talking to them. My sleep had been even less than normal because I was worrying about my folks. If I had an hour a day I was lucky.

Anyway Sunday came, bags all packed, Daddy and Miss Adira were staying over at our house that night so we could head of about 10am. How all the bags were going to get in the boot of Masters car I don’t know. It had already been decided that I was to do no tasks during the holiday so I didn’t need to pack my homework though I think I may have forgotten my spellings by the time I get tested again. I will have to ask Miss Adira when the test will be and how many days I will have to learn them again.

I discovered that Miss Adira had been told by Master that she had to do her tasks whilst away, something she wasn’t impressed about, then when we arrived he told her he was only kidding. Something he had done to me on our first naturist holiday.

After a poor sleep thanks to the dogs taking most of the room on the airbed and sleeping on our blankets, we set off. Going to put petrol in the car first. Fortunately or not, it was then that I discovered I hadn’t got my phone, the phone Master said was never out of my hand, but I hadn’t got it. So after filling the car I had to explain to Master that I hadn’t got my phone and we needed to go and get it. Fortunately or not, we were only 10 minutes away from home, so off we went to get it.

It felt like deja-vu, driving down the same roads back home, finding my mobile then driving back again. Master didn’t seem to see the funny side of it, though Daddy and Miss Adira both chuckled a bit.

5 ½ hours later we arrived, so I booked in, and we started to carry the bags into our 2 loft conversions. As we had our own private door to get up to the 2 lofts, we were able to just leave the doors open so we went from loft to loft. Daddy stripped off first, quickly followed by Master, me an Miss Adira last. Getting the food in the fridge, most importantly the booze in the fridge. The bonus of 2 lofts is the food fit in one fridge, the booze in the other.

We then went for a lovely long swim and soak in the hottub. The days were pretty much the same every day, swim, sunroom to read or write blogs, hottub, swim, lunch, swim, sunroom, hottub, oh and enjoying a walk through the quiet fields, dinner ending with final swim an hottub before spending the later evening watching TV before bed.

I’m told Miss Adira wants a walk with me so we…..’we’ can try out nettle play. Well basically she wants to spank my arse with a bunch of nettles. Hmmmmm I don’t seem to be getting much say in this, apparently she thinks I will like it.

On the last day of holiday I learnt that they were moving Mum to another hospital to fit a pacemaker in her. Dad had told them they must phone him up when they know when Mum was going because we knew she would be anxious on her own.

He was furious to learn the smbulance had left with out him. Dad went mad. Not only had Dad told them to phone, our son and his girlfriend had been absolutely amazing for 2 19 yr old kids. He looked after Dad whilst I was away, he phoned the hospital morning and night and visited every day. Trying to find out exactky what they were doing next. So when he learnt Mum was moving hospital, he gave the ward his mobile number, telling them to phone him no matter what the time and he would contact Dad. But they never did that  so Dad was stuck trying to find out what train would get him to the other hospital. Meanwhile E decided to ask his boss if he could leave and take Dad in his car to the hospital. Hus boss said yes, go but be careful. So he left, drove to Dads and took him to the hospital, found the correct ward then he left. Dad was staying with Mum until they were brought back to the other hospital.

So, so far, that’s all that’s happened with mum.she still needs her tummy sorted but again as there’s another bank holiday, we’ve seen no other doctors. Every day is a guessing game.

But during all this, on the Sunday night before we left holiday, E was sleeping at his girlfriend’s house. Her mum has been v v poorly for weeks, and in the middle of the night, she collapsed, turned blue, unable to breath. E and I said it was one of the scariest things they’ve ever witnessed. Once in hospital she ended up in intensive care, with pneumonia. She had been turned away from hospital so many times. But the infection was that bad that it covered all of each lung plus put a hole in her heart. So now she is having to have regular check ups to find out if her heart is okay or will she need an operation.

I have to stay im very proud of E and I, and how they’ve coped over the past 5 days. It couldn’t have been much worse.

Thankfully I’s Mum is out of hospital but she will be off sick for at least 6 months. She’s a nurse in the same hospital so she comes in contact with sick people all the time, and she can’t afford to get another infection

My mum is still in, think she will be there another week or so. It’s 20 days now. Dad has had the bed moved downstairs, he’s having the bathroom knocked into one room so it’s safer for Mum and taking the bath away, putting in a walk in shower instead. Social services will come and provide everything else.

I know my Doms/Domme are worried about me as I’m.exhausted all the time, coming back from hospital, fall asleep, eat my dinner, fall asleep again until Master tells me to go to bed. But I can’t not visit her every day. Hopefully see the drs too.

Now you can understand why I think this year has truly awful so far.

3 thoughts on “Not a good year so far.

    1. Thank you Indie. Im just going to look at showers with dad so we can get the bathroom changed . It is exhausting, ive my family saying think bout yourself, your health too. But how can i wen ive got Dad and Mum to look after. Me brother doesnt visit so hes no use at all.
      But gotta just deal with it.
      Pam xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I ended up removing our bath and just putting in a walk in shower. I did this because it was easier for Mum to use a shower chair and with a later wheelchair in mind (we didn’t make it to a wheelchair). I found some of the videos and advice on this site very helpful. Teepa Snow really knows her stuff but i found a lot of hospital staff etc were not really dementia trained and i had to educate them! https://www.pineseducation.org

        Liked by 1 person

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