Having a set bedtime really sucks at times.
We are having a heat wave here in the UK, or it could be our summer, then at summertime it will rain all the time. Who knows, but as it’s nice weather and school holidays, the kids are out playing until it gets dark.
I feel really pathetic, when I’m getting into bed for 9 pm, when I can hear kids, little kids playing out on the street.
Last night Master was going for a drive in the new kit car. I hadn’t been allowed to go this weekend as my back was really really sore. But last night I really wanted to go, Master never asked me, which got me in a bit of a grump, so I asked if I could go. He took his helmet off and said if we go, he would not wear it as we would look daft, him wearing a helmet, me not wearing one. I’m waiting for my new goggles to arrive, which I will wear in this car. So I asked if it was better if he wore the helmet, he replied yes, so I said fine, I won’t go. Though really I did want to. So off he went at 7.30 pm. A bit later E came down and saw the car gone, so he decided he would go for a drive too. So at 8.10 pm I was home alone. E had said why didn’t I go for a drive, but I said, no, I’m going to bed soon.
So I spent my time tidying up, doing the dishwasher and laundry. By this time, E came back, saying there were too many loons on the road trying to chase you, it was too dangerous to be out. I thought he was very sensible to come home and not be tempted to race them.
I had a quick shower and got into bed. Hearing the kids playing outside made me feel so stupid. Here it was, a lovely evening, I could be sat outside enjoying the weather, reading my book, but no, I have to go to bed.
I know I’m really ratty, bad tempered, and my bratty side comes out when I’m tired, hence why Master set this 9 pm bedtime, but sometimes I just wish I didn’t have it. I know I often turn the TV off before the set 10 pm, I’m often asleep by 9.30 pm, or earlier, but tonight, A, I really wanted to go on the drive and B, I wanted to stay up and enjoy the weather.
Master came home at 9.30 pm, and I knew I was feeling pissed off as Master showed me where he had been. He knew I was pissed off, he said “I can’t miss some nice weather and not go for a drive. Tomorrow if your back is okay, we can go for a drive, Okay ?” I muttered a yes, “Come on, why are you in a grump ?” He asked. I said, “You’ve both been for a drive, and I’ve had to get a shower and get into bed, whilst I can hear kids still playing outside. I cudda sat outside reading.” “Well why didn’t you ? “He asked me. Replying grumpily, “Well I’ve a set bedtime haven’t I.” “Well you cudda done it and not told me.” Master said laughing. “I’m not gonna do that, am I. It just would be nice not to have a set bedtime.” I grumbled. I know on special occasions I can stay up later, and if I did go for a drive, Master wouldn’t make sure we were back in time for my bedtime. We would just go out and once I got home, I would go straight to bed.
But honestly, it’s the fact I can hear kids playing outside and I’m in bed. It makes me feel so foolish, even though I know I’m better for it, it still sucks that I just can’t do what I wanted and go and enjoy the weather. One any other day, if it rains, or cold, I would happily go to bed, but coz it’s nice, I wanna enjoy it. I suppose I’m just being a sulky brat, for not getting what I want, okay I know I’m being a brat, disrespecting Master’s rules and why this rule was set, but on this occasion, I just wanna break it, especially if he goes for a drive again. Sod the consequences. But I know I won’t do that. Not anymore.
Tomorrow I will just have to see how my back feels, but most important, be honest even if it’s just a tiny bit sore.
I’m just feeling sulky.