Should I not have a choice, in normal day to day life as Master’s slave ?

I read a blog yesterday which got me thinking about myself, and how I am as Master’s slave.

The blog described how the submissive never asked questions, never expected anything, never asked for anything and never whined or moaned at any times especially when no orgasms were allowed.

I sat and thought about those words a lot. And though we have a wonderful dynamic, maybe I am topping from the bottom. 

But these occasions are usually during normal family life, yesterday for example, Master was choosing something to watch on TV, and chose one I didn’t enjoy. Until I said, Oh don’t put that on, let’s watch the other one. The minute I said it, I thought back to that blog, thinking I should not have said that, I don’t get to choose, I said, oh put the other one on, I know you like that. So he did.

I think at times what I find difficult is distinguishing our life and vanilla family life. I do have a tendency of playing up when our son is around, only to a limit though. Or even when we are with family I may be more cheeky than I am usually. And I know for me it’s a bit of fun and Master knows that, I’m never rude, but I love a chance to be a bit bratty. Maybe not even being bratty, I guess going back to the way I acted all the time before this lifestyle, being a little cheeky to others, cursing a lot more and to him, friendly play fights, when with family all the girls ganging up on any of the boys. I’ve noticed Master will now make comments to other people like, Yeah she will be going to bed early if she carries on. No one knows except him and me that he actually means it and I would do it. But then I know to stop.

But can I still have these giggles ?  Up to point of not being directly rude or disrespectful to Master. Other family members would definitely notice if I didn’t join in. They made comments a few years ago about why I was wearing skirts or dresses all the time, or discussing a new hairstyle, someone said cut it shorter and I’d say, no G likes it long, they replied, it’s your hair not his, it’s up to you. Of course they didn’t know that’s not how it works for us.

 

Sometimes I think it would be easier if we didn’t have to disguise our life when we were with others. My 2 best friends know, and sometimes Master would give me a warning to stop in front of them. Once when I really was being bratty, he actually said, If you act this way again just because your mate is here, you will go over my knee in front of them, and I will spank your ass til it’s raw, and you know I will do that, don’t you.  Yes I know he would do it.

 

As you can tell, this blog really did have me thinking. Am I topping from the bottom ? Or am I just being his partner on these occasions ? Master has never commented that I can’t choose during general life, he asks what should we watch, or what should we have for dinner, should I say, you choose Master. That’s fine if that’s what Master wants, I would do that. Or am I just overthinking things ? I think, I would like to add this as it brings the dynamics closer into our normal life. But it would be up to Master, I won’t ask him.

 

I also pondering over whining, I do this rarely, one time after feeling extremely neglected I asked if Master had gone off me. Not really thinking he was doing it purposefully. I really thought he didn’t want me anymore. But he sat me down and told me that as my Master, he would decide if and when he was going to touch me. After talking about it for a while, I understood. But going from being touched daily to nothing for a few weeks just had my mind in bits. I do have a tendency to overthink things, maybe that’s what I’m doing now, I don’t know.

 

9 thoughts on “Should I not have a choice, in normal day to day life as Master’s slave ?

  1. I think that if your Master is ok then you’re not doing anything wrong… I’d bet if he didn’t want your opinion he’d not ask for it… And he’d soon tell you if he was that bothered about what to watch on TV ….

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  2. If he is fine with the way things are I wouldn’t stress too much about it. He probably likes that you’re playful and teasing at times and might not want your personality to change. Ask him. 🙂

    As for sayyid, he doesn’t pressure me about things. But he does get playful and teasing. Just today he was begging to touch my boobs. I purposely wore a top that is driving him wild. I like that he was begging to touch them. It feeds my ego. After awhile I gave him a more serious warning to stop, he obeyed. That feeds my Domme.

    When he is playful and teasing, I know this isn’t topping from the bottom. It’s part of his personality and I wouldn’t want that to change. Now if he started whining and pestering me all the time, I would definitely have an issue with that. He knows this.

    Hope this makes sense. 🙂

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    1. Yes it does thanks hunnie. I know he would tell me if he wanted me to change but he has always said he wants me being me, not a stepford wife kinda person.
      He reads my blogs so if he wanted it different he will tell me. But I’m glad others don’t think this is topping from the bottom. Xxxxxxxx

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  3. Hello there. I just started following your blog and haven’t read enough to get a good impression of the dynamics that you have on a regular basis, but I can probably shed some light on the questions you have.

    The first one is that the definition of “slave” in BDSM and D/s has gotten extremely loose in the past 5 years. 10 or 15 years ago everyone was working off of the Old Guard definition but at some point the label lost a lot of its meaning. e.g. if you take 10 slaves and you will find 10 different definitions of slave.

    What this does is screw up the relativity if you are trying to compare if your dynamic and mindset resembles someone else’s that classifies themselves as M/s. It was a lot easier in the older days when everyone’s use of slave was the same.

    Chances are you came across someone whose idea of slave was closer to the Old Guard definition. In that style, the ideal was as a slave you were not supposed to have a personality, you were supposed to be compliant at all times, and your only desire was to be useful and beneficial to your Master. Basically, any brattiness, defiance of any type, or having desires that were meant to benefit you would have been frowned upon.

    From what I am gathering, your own definition of slave is nothing like that.

    What I can say is here is the most important thing to consider: What does he want you to be like?

    You may even want to ask about these things if you are uncertain. If he wants you to have a personality and an opinion about what TV show to watch, then the right choice is to have an opinion. If he wants you to giggle, the right choice is to giggle.

    From the sound of it, you got rattled by hearing someone else’s standards for their submission. The most submissive thing you can do is not to try to adhere to their standards, but to adhere to HIS standards. The last thing you would want to do is try to suppress a part of yourself that he enjoys, right?

    Take care.

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    1. Thanks for the reply. I’ve always said our dynamic is past Dom/sub, But not quite Master/slave, it’s somewhere in the middle. So we are certainly not close to the Old Gaurd definition you mention.
      Master still wants me to be me, and I know if he wanted me to change he would tell me. Plus he reads my blogs so if he wanted me to be like that, again He would tell me.
      I do have a bad habit of comparing our dynamic to others. The other person was a submissive, not a slave, I would never copy their standards, I do concentrates on Master’s standards and what he expects of me, my trouble is if I read things that might be a possible addition to our dynamic, should I suggest it or is it up to Master to suggest things.
      I know he wants me to still be me, so I will continue until he wants something more.

      Thank you x

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      1. Thank you for clarifying. I still probably would have said similar things based upon the feelings you were communicating 🙂
        Other people’s dynamics can be both good and bad. They bring up ideas, but I find too often people look at themselves as “lesser” or “greater” when they see them.

        What works for many is having a designated time once a week or once a month to sit down and talk about how things are going and new ideas and changes. By having that time set aside, you would know that you have a same time to communicate it where it isn’t topping from the bottom or trying to force feed something to him. It also gives you time to prepare and understand a good way to communicate it and reasons why/how you think it would benefit him and enhance the dynamic.

        Unless dominants are the types who are constantly looking to push, it is easy to fall into an equilibrium. Bringing up new ideas at the right time and in the right way is often a favor.

        Take care.

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